Desk Pumpkin
“Bad ideas for the office.”
So my E.D. from down the street is trying to be decorative…or something. She set up a little fall motif in the lobby of the other building. It’s got a whole bunch of gourds and mini-pumpkins (crap, garbage, et. al.). Then she gave every staff member a mini-pumpkin to sit on our desk. I have been looking for the perfect chance to chuck my damn m.p. at someone. I’ve considered hitting a client with it. The fair thing seems to be to hit the person who gave it to me though. It’s only fair. I figure I need to make it hard to track down (cause she is the type who will) so I’ll have to steal at least two other pumpkins so that it won’t be obvious that I was the one who did it. Then one day as she’s leaving out I’ll hide behind a bush or something…line it up and clock her ass with that pumpkin. Damn mini-pumpkin. The only pumpkin I want is some pumpkin pie and I damn sure wouldn’t take that from her. Don’t give me a gourd! I poop on your mini-pumpkin…well not really I mean it is on my desk. I do have the feeling that someone is going to get hit with this joint though. The temptation is to great. Note to all…if you are a supervisor and it is possible that people may not like you don’t give them something they could throw. That’s like going on stage after you hand out tomatoes. She has to get it…plus I have to work late tonight and I didn’t feel like coming in today at all. It’s pumpkin throwing time!
Or…you can carve something really offensive in each one, and make it a point for her to see it, displayed proudly on your desk.
Comment by TJ — October 25, 2005 @ 4:48 pm
Carve an ass on it and tell her to kiss it.
Comment by Nikki — October 25, 2005 @ 5:08 pm
Whoa! You moved!
Anyway, stick a swiss army knife through it and leave it. That’ll let your know what you think of her mini-punkin gift.
I hate Hallow’s Eve. When I was younger, my mother convinced me that Halloween encouraged young people to beg from strangers, and this was why she refused to answer her door… so to stay away from it so the kids wouldn’t know that we were home.
I now believe her. Anyway…
If your boss really wanted to do something nice, she should have thrown a trough-load of zebra-striped Hershey’s Kisses on each of your desks or something like that. Or crisp five-dollar bills…
Comment by coffey0072 — October 25, 2005 @ 5:52 pm
Ha…Ha…. I hate festive people…. I mean I’m no scrooge or a grinch, but festive people love to impose their festive beliefs on semi or non-festive people. I am not going to encourage violence, but hiding in the bushes and throwing the mp at her sounds good.
Comment by van007 — October 25, 2005 @ 7:05 pm
We have that same heffa in our office!! ALWAYS trying to the theme the office with whatever holiday or even that is going on. Too much damn time on their hands!
Comment by Icey — October 25, 2005 @ 8:49 pm
Dang, what I wouldn’t do fo some pumpkin pie right about now. You had to remind me. Best of luck with the move.
Comment by Brotha Buck — October 26, 2005 @ 2:49 am
LMAO…. that was funny!
Comment by msnhim — October 26, 2005 @ 6:07 pm
Did y’all hear that Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has banned Halloween pumpkins? Apparently, Venezuelans are stuffing bombs and anti-Chavez propaganda into them. OK, so it took me this long to see the unreasonable, Fidel-like dictator in him.
Comment by Mariposa — October 26, 2005 @ 9:02 pm
As a child, did you often have problems with throwing things?
Comment by God\'s Child — October 27, 2005 @ 4:24 pm
YEAH!!!!!!
I want too, i want too!!!!!
yeah yeah yeah!!!!!
oh, please, could you do that in real? i would cover you if i could, but it would be just too good to actually do those crazy things lingering in our brains while we should actually do what we don’t really want to do (like working whatever you have to work)
ah, amadeo, i love you
Comment by piranha — October 28, 2005 @ 3:20 am
ps, i mean, you know….you know what i’m saying?
the german way…
Comment by piranha — October 28, 2005 @ 3:20 am
pooping on the pumpkin???
u r so stoopid..lol
Comment by chan — November 1, 2005 @ 12:49 am
fkhibuz
hilf
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