Crucial misunderstandings
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
I am right. Once again my ability for group dynamics has struck true. This experiment of a youth program moving in with an adult program is a bad idea. The worst problem is that the youth program is going to suffer. We are being told to change our style and the way we deal with young people. Someone *cough* E.D. *cough*…thinks we are not professional enough. She says we have inappropriate conversations with the young people. What she fails to realize is that we do not just have business relationships. There ARE personal factors going on. When a young person’s parents can’t get enthusiastic about them getting their GED or finding a job that has them making at 18 what I made at 22, they tend to want to see you. When you show an interest in someones life it draws them in. For “official” purposes I get my numbers and they get someone who cares about what’s going on with them. When you’ve helped someone do everthing from find work to take care of their education to show them how to parallel park and get their license it tends to form a bond. Another thing people forget is that I don’t work with adults who just need help finding a job…I deal with teenagers who don’t always know who they are yet. In order for me to do my job I have to help them find at least parts of themselves so we can work together. Some people just don’t understand it. When I look at people in my field there are always strong client/case manager relationships because of some of the things you’ve seen them through at a critical time in their life. When alot of my clients come in we aren’t just talking about their job or education…we’re talking about their life and no matter what my intention, I’m playing a role in it. That makes me more than just a tie behind a desk and I will not revert to being one.
People like your E.D. make me wonder if they ever felt the passion for their profession when they were first starting out…and how in the hell do you wind up that way. I mean, for those of us in “service” professions, when do you stop caring about people and only focus on “business”?
Comment by Beloved — November 16, 2005 @ 6:50 pm
we have become a very desenseitized society. no one wants to realte with each other. people are always on the phone, or two waying, or playing so damn video. Whatever happen to long conversations, sitting down with a book, reflective thought? Now it is all about numbers and schedules. We have forgotten how to enjoy the moment and relate to each others as humans. The sad thing is your job is in a social service capacity and they are getting pissed at you for being human. Damn!!!
Comment by nas dawud — November 16, 2005 @ 6:54 pm
Talk about a double-edged sword friend. It seems to me, the wrong people are in the wrong positions. Considering how they get the low of the low to communicate on the phone with you when you’re dealing with customer service, or the wrong individuals who have to work with you at a financial institution and they don’t treat each and every person as if they are important.
It should be this way regardless of how trivial their issue is, they should make each and every issue priority. You’ve got to admire a person who’s willing to not look at an issue as though solving it is merely business or part of the job, but thank and praise that same individual for making that issue and confronting it with personal zeal.
Everything is less personal nowadays, a sad remnant of a society that every day seems on the verge of crashing and burning..
Comment by Luke Cage — November 16, 2005 @ 7:21 pm
yeah, amadeo, i cannot marvel more at the fact and be more happy to know that you are like this. i absolutely and hunderpercently agree with you on all that and man, i see myself one day doing the same….in one or the other way.
ah.
it s good to be back to your blog
:)
you never disappoint me.
see ya l8er alligator
p
Comment by piranha — November 16, 2005 @ 11:47 pm
like I said, i respect you man. Keep doin’ what you do.
Comment by gunner kaufman — November 17, 2005 @ 5:57 am
ditto what gunner said.
in your field got to bond with folks in other to help if not they wont trust you and they will not trust your motives and your help. it all makes perfect sense to me why cant others in your field understand.
Comment by jdid — November 17, 2005 @ 11:44 am
It’s so good to know that there are people who stand up for the kids. They need so much support, and we as adults generally disservice them. We really need to do something about creating understanding and compassion between generations. It’s so not there, but it SO needs to be.
Keep up the good work.
Comment by Aquaticmuse — November 17, 2005 @ 3:39 pm
And you damned well shouldn’t revert. If you’re not supposed to relate to your clients on a personal level, then why have such a program in the first place. They can go anywhere and have someone regurgitate stats, addresses and telephone numbers to them. When the hell did personal contact and interaction become so obscenely off limits? Blah!
Comment by Breez — November 17, 2005 @ 4:42 pm
Amadeo, stay true to what you believe and the reasons why you’re doing what you’re doing. The tired adage in this case is very true, “fight the power.” You know what needs to be done to reach these young folks, don’t let them re-shape what works.
Comment by **RPM** — November 20, 2005 @ 1:29 pm
Of course you shouldn’t revert. One of the primary problems with people working with youth, is that they try to hard to be detached and cold, prompted young adults to feel as if their caseworkers don’t give shit.
It seems to me that part of your job entails guiding these young people. There’s no way to guide without showing that you’re human and that you actuall care.
Don’t revert!
Comment by coffey0072 — November 22, 2005 @ 2:12 am
Of course you shouldn’t revert. One of the primary problems with people working with youth, is that they try to hard to be detached and cold, prompted young adults to feel as if their caseworkers don’t give shit.
It seems to me that part of your job entails guiding these young people. There’s no way to guide without showing that you’re human and that you actuall care.
Don’t revert!
Comment by coffey0072 — November 22, 2005 @ 2:12 am
you sound like you have a very interesting and important job.
don’t change how you ‘do your thang’ over there - those young people need someone like you to give them a little bit of hope and encouragement, especially if they’re not getting it elsewhere.
Comment by mai — November 30, 2005 @ 2:07 pm