Amadeo Sogni

“No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.”
Donald Foster

Throughout my life I have been confused about some things. Some are simple misunderstandings. Some are just a result of my obscure knowledge and sense of humor. The rest…well everyone has their moments.

1) D.S.L. - When D.S.L. first came out it was geared for businesses. I used to always see these billboards and posters all over the place. The problem was they didn’t explain what D.S.L. was. When I thought of it at that time I thought of…well let me quote Ursula Rucker…“Don’t she got some DSL’s, make a nigga joint just swell, to think?” I just kept wondering why are they advertising DSL’s?!?!? Ain’t that illegal?

2)Vonage - This is more of a nerdy-billpaying-issue. When I think of it it’s like a paradox. Vonage is phone service over the internet. So to get it you have to have the internet. But to have the internet you need a phone line. But Vonage should supplant your phone service. But without phone service you can’t get the internet. But you need the internet to get Vonage. Feel me, or maybe I’m just slow this week. Perhaps it’s only here that companies won’t sell you DSL without making you get a phone line.

3) Military - Nowadays they are disregarding a lack of intelligence, criminal records and even health issues to join the military…but not sexual orientation. For some reason I just seem to think that I would rather have an army of intelligent, healthy gay men, than one composed of stupid, sickly criminals. Is it just me? You can have a felony and asthma and get in, but if you say you’re gay you can’t.

4) Pimpin’ - This is a more recent one. I’m struggling with the fact that someone is going to sing “It’s hard out here for a Pimp” at the Oscars. Will they use the orchestra? They always have someone else do the song so will one of the three tenors sing?

“They envy the distinction I have won; let them therefore, envy my toils, my honesty, and the methods by which I gained it.”
Sallust (86 BC - 34 BC)

The haterade flows once again. This brother is the first to win an individual gold medal in the winter olympics and people are mad cause he chose not to participate in the new team event. Then new team event that he did not qualify for. The new team event that he wasn’t scheduled for or asked about until a week before it was set to happen. Let’s consider the facts: this cat who is 23 has been training for his individual event for 17 years. He has had problems with the U.S. committee for a long time. He also went to the Olympics in 2002 and did not get to compete. As a result of this he is on record as saying that he would never do something that would bump another person from competition. But he’s not a team player. Keep in mind that people who compete in the Olympics train for most of their lives to have maybe 2 or three chances spread over 4 year spans to achieve something. If you had trained since you were six would you wait until a week before to risk your chances? Especially when the difference between living off of what you’ve done and getting a job is most likely a medal. This dude made history, should we really consider him a bad guy. Shouldn’t he be celebrated? Ah the hatred is in the air. The thing about this is…dude that’s running his mouth isn’t going to step to Shani. You think a brother, raised on the South Side of the Chi who has been speed skating since he was 6 hasn’t been in some fights?

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

So, my audit is done. I’m going to be an uncle. Some companies take forever to install a new phone line and hook up a brothers DSl. Things are changing. I’m growing. Hell I even washed my car!…well the fine folks at WashWorks did it for me, but still. I’ve read 20 books since the second week of January and that feels pretty good. I bought a dope little ‘pewter. I’m also fascinated with my jump drive…the fact that I have more memory in my pocket than my computer at work does makes me feel powerful. I’m somewhat dissapointed that I was not able to buy a flat screen, besides I’ll probably end up getting a doper graphics card first. I got props on my audit and generally things are pretty good. I am stuck in a paradox though, all of my old jeans are ripped and I had to buy new ones, but the old ones just feel so good. On the external tip…Dick Cheney is gangsta. When you shoot someone in the face and they apologize to you that’s power. Icebergs are melting. Shani Davis rocks. The winter olympics as whole, however, suck. Me and the rest of America remebered not to let the younger Gumbels smooth taste fool us. Just cause he sounds like he went to private school with a minimum of blacks he still says some raw black shyt. I still don’t understand why Americans think they should win everything at the olympics. It’s like wondering why we aren’t the dominate force in soccer. We don’t even watch soccer until World Cup or the Olympics and then we expect to crush everyone. Meanwhile the movie about America beating Russia at hockey in the olympics is called Miracle. They should make snow shoveling a winter sport…I could identify with that. “And the American team almost has their car totally dug out!” The President and my Executive Director are still stupid. Things are as they should be I guess. Soooo…how the hell are you?

“It’s not my fault!”
Lando Calrissian

Because I haven’t been posting much (because I’m going through a 50% case file audit), I wanted to make sure I leave you guys with something. Since I’m about to go to a meeting and today is the last day of the audit I don’t have that much time so here you go…..

Hooper X’s Raging at Comic Book Convention
written by Kevin Smith

Hooper X: For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, is introduced USUALLY by my white artist names. They got SLAPPED with racist names that singled them out as Negros! Now–my book, “White-Hating Coon”, don’t have any of that bullshit. The hero’s name is Maleequa and he’s descended from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet while all you European motherfuckers were all hiding out in caves ‘n shit, terrified of the sun. He’s a strong role-model that a young black reader can look up to. ‘Cause I’m here to tell ya: the chickens are coming home to roost, y’all. The black man is no longer going to be playing the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We’re keeping it real! And we’re going to get respect by any means necessary.
Holden (Ben Affleck): Ah, c’mon, that’s a bunch of horseshit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy, y’know, he got to fly the Millenium Falcon! What’s the matter with you!
Hooper: Who said that?
Holden: (standing up) I did. Lando Calrissian is a positive role-model in the realm of science fiction fantasy.
Hooper: Hey, FUCK Lando Calrissian!
(Holden shrugs and sits down)
Hooper: Uncle-Tom nigger, heh. It’s always some white boy got to invoke the holy trinity. Bust this! Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother-man down–even in a galaxy far far away. Check this shit. You got cracker farmboy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy blond hair blue eyes. Then you got Darth Vader, blackest brother in the galaxy. Nubian god!
Banky (Jason Lee): (standing up) What’s a nubian?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up! (Banky sits down) Now. Vader, he’s a spiritual brother, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker Skywalker gets his hands on a lightsaber, and the boy decides HE’S gonna run the whole fucking universe! Gets a whole KLAN of whites together and they go bust up Vader’s hood, the Death Star! Now what the fuck do you call that?
Banky: Intergalatic civil war?
Hooper: Gentrification!! They gonna drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote-unquote safe for white folks! In “Jedi,” the most insulting installment when Vader’s beautiful black visage is SULLIED when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty old white man! They trying to tell us that deep inside, we all wants to be WHITE!!!
Banky: Well, isn’t that true?
(Hooper pulls out a gun, releases the safety, kicks over the podium and shoots Banky several times, and Banky falls, clutching his chest. All the other speakers and audience members (excluding Holden and Alyssa who we are about to meet) dive for cover or scatter screaming as…)
Hooper: (shooting into the air): Black rage!!! Black rage!!! I kill all white folks I lay my motherfuckin’ eyes on!!

Just to get into the spirit…I thought these were great Valentines.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
John Lennon (1940 - 1980), “Beautiful Boy”

So yesterday we had this workshop for our young people and my co-worker mentioned life events. Things that happen that have repercussions that ripple through other aspects of your life.

Last night I had a life event. I spoke to my father and my sister. I’ve never met her in person and haven’t physically been in his presence since I was three. It’s been at least 10 years since I spoke to him over the phone. It wasn’t totally out of the blue cause he called my mother to get my info and she called and gave me the heads up that he was going to call. It was a very weird situation. Speaking with my sister was cool. I’ve spoken to her more than him really. Speaking to him was crazy. Despite what the conversation was. There were the unspoken things and that which was under the surface. Even as a calm person who works as a counselor it was still weird. I tread lightly, but was unsettled. I tried not to be emotional and say hurtful things or accuse, but I kept realizing I didn’t know him enough know what might hurt or what might seem accusing. Then I kept remembering…”he” is my father. I downed a beer afterwards and sat on the edge of my bed thinking. I did make it in to work today. I even hit up my sisters site and shot her an email with my blog and myspace info. (BTW it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t give her a plug http://www.mystykalkennels.com/). In some ways, however, I’m still sitting on the edge of my bed thinking.

For all those who want to see something good. I caught Dave Chapelle on Inside the Actors Studio last night and that joint was well worth it. It airs again on March 3rd and 5th I believe.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
Carl Reiner

I really don’t like the snow. When I was young it meant days out of school and snowball fights and just playing. Now it means, shoveling, hoping to get my car out, people in the market acting stupid, a sore back and cold toes.

Beefs
1) The Market - I’ve said this before, but if you live in a region where it snows you are not allowed to act like it’s going to be the movie “The Day After Tomorrow” everytime they say it will snow. As of yet I have never been snowed in and on the brink of starvation…and I don’t think I will. If this happens again this year I will go through the market throwing frozen meat at people.

2) The Guy** - So the night it started snowing I though, “Ah this doesn’t seem like it will amount to much. WRONG. That crap was almost at my knees the next day. So (responsible adult gene kicking in) I go on out to shovel. My cousin and the Guy are in the living room he says (in the dummy voice) “You leaving?” my cousins reply (in the smart aleck voice -cause I’m not answering) “He’s going to SHOVEL!” So I go on outside and shovel through the snow I shovel from the house to the walk. I shovel the whole side walk. I shovel my car out. Around when I’m halfway done the street side of my car, The Guy comes out and looks around, speaks to some neighbors (who are all shoveling snow mind you) then he says, “Hey you want me to put some salt down?” Being that there are about 3 more shovels in the house and someone old enough to be my father is asking about doing the easiest thing he possibly could…let’s just say If I could focus the look I had on my face I could just melt the snow. If it wasn’t my best shovel I would have thrown it at him. When I’m sweating in the snow and shoveling don’t ask me if I want you to do a job I would give to a 5 year old.

3) Parking - So this is a real thing. I just dug my car out of the snow and prepared a path travel out of. For the rest of the day I will sit here anxious about the fact that someone may park in my spot. I have nightmares about it and breakout into sweats. After all that work I’d kirk out at the though of someone sliding into my spot. Especially since my street is one that the city won’t bother to clean at all. I scared this lady last year cause she pulled in right in front of me on the street and tried t slide into my spot. I pulled right up on her tail honking and all that until she moved enough for me to get in…comfortably. Mean looks nor scared ones phase me. I shoveled for this baby. Like it or Lump it. I may be willing to assault someone over that spot. My back is still sore from the work I put in. That’s like holding a man’s gun or stroking his woman I just can’t handle it.

**The Guy - Kinda like a mix between the Guy on the Couch (Half Baked)

and Bro’hman (Martin)
mostly cause he usually lies on the couch and eats “samiches”.

Main Entry: stu·pid·i·ty
Pronunciation: stu-’pi-d&-tE, styu-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
1 : the quality or state of being stupid
2 : a stupid idea or act

I’ve just come from an All Staff meeting. Best described as math class with a teacher that only calls on people who’s hands aren’t raised. It’s sometimes hard to grasp that not only are most people stupid, but most of these stupid people have important jobs. I face this fact once a month. I was just fussed at by a woman who repeated the exact same thing that I had just said. THE SAME THING. How can your argument against mine be my argument. Therefore despite the fact that I have pointed out what the issue was in the situation…the issue will continue. Because people were too busy making sure they didn’t take blame they never solved the problem. I don’t like adults…not much at all.