A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
Carl Reiner

I really don’t like the snow. When I was young it meant days out of school and snowball fights and just playing. Now it means, shoveling, hoping to get my car out, people in the market acting stupid, a sore back and cold toes.

Beefs
1) The Market - I’ve said this before, but if you live in a region where it snows you are not allowed to act like it’s going to be the movie “The Day After Tomorrow” everytime they say it will snow. As of yet I have never been snowed in and on the brink of starvation…and I don’t think I will. If this happens again this year I will go through the market throwing frozen meat at people.

2) The Guy** - So the night it started snowing I though, “Ah this doesn’t seem like it will amount to much. WRONG. That crap was almost at my knees the next day. So (responsible adult gene kicking in) I go on out to shovel. My cousin and the Guy are in the living room he says (in the dummy voice) “You leaving?” my cousins reply (in the smart aleck voice -cause I’m not answering) “He’s going to SHOVEL!” So I go on outside and shovel through the snow I shovel from the house to the walk. I shovel the whole side walk. I shovel my car out. Around when I’m halfway done the street side of my car, The Guy comes out and looks around, speaks to some neighbors (who are all shoveling snow mind you) then he says, “Hey you want me to put some salt down?” Being that there are about 3 more shovels in the house and someone old enough to be my father is asking about doing the easiest thing he possibly could…let’s just say If I could focus the look I had on my face I could just melt the snow. If it wasn’t my best shovel I would have thrown it at him. When I’m sweating in the snow and shoveling don’t ask me if I want you to do a job I would give to a 5 year old.

3) Parking - So this is a real thing. I just dug my car out of the snow and prepared a path travel out of. For the rest of the day I will sit here anxious about the fact that someone may park in my spot. I have nightmares about it and breakout into sweats. After all that work I’d kirk out at the though of someone sliding into my spot. Especially since my street is one that the city won’t bother to clean at all. I scared this lady last year cause she pulled in right in front of me on the street and tried t slide into my spot. I pulled right up on her tail honking and all that until she moved enough for me to get in…comfortably. Mean looks nor scared ones phase me. I shoveled for this baby. Like it or Lump it. I may be willing to assault someone over that spot. My back is still sore from the work I put in. That’s like holding a man’s gun or stroking his woman I just can’t handle it.

**The Guy - Kinda like a mix between the Guy on the Couch (Half Baked)

and Bro’hman (Martin)
mostly cause he usually lies on the couch and eats “samiches”.