“No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.”
Donald Foster

Throughout my life I have been confused about some things. Some are simple misunderstandings. Some are just a result of my obscure knowledge and sense of humor. The rest…well everyone has their moments.

1) D.S.L. - When D.S.L. first came out it was geared for businesses. I used to always see these billboards and posters all over the place. The problem was they didn’t explain what D.S.L. was. When I thought of it at that time I thought of…well let me quote Ursula Rucker…“Don’t she got some DSL’s, make a nigga joint just swell, to think?” I just kept wondering why are they advertising DSL’s?!?!? Ain’t that illegal?

2)Vonage - This is more of a nerdy-billpaying-issue. When I think of it it’s like a paradox. Vonage is phone service over the internet. So to get it you have to have the internet. But to have the internet you need a phone line. But Vonage should supplant your phone service. But without phone service you can’t get the internet. But you need the internet to get Vonage. Feel me, or maybe I’m just slow this week. Perhaps it’s only here that companies won’t sell you DSL without making you get a phone line.

3) Military - Nowadays they are disregarding a lack of intelligence, criminal records and even health issues to join the military…but not sexual orientation. For some reason I just seem to think that I would rather have an army of intelligent, healthy gay men, than one composed of stupid, sickly criminals. Is it just me? You can have a felony and asthma and get in, but if you say you’re gay you can’t.

4) Pimpin’ - This is a more recent one. I’m struggling with the fact that someone is going to sing “It’s hard out here for a Pimp” at the Oscars. Will they use the orchestra? They always have someone else do the song so will one of the three tenors sing?