“With silence favor me.”
(Favete Linguis)
Horace (65 BC - 8 BC)

So much noise. The incessant, unneeded speaking is driving me up a wall. Now I’m a good conversationalist and I enjoy listening, but not to garbage. Currently alot of diatribes I am forced to sit through could only be described as craptacular. That said I have an all staff meeting next week that will be an 2 1/2 hours of listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher. I say hit the main point and if you could have said it in an email than do so. You know I used to always hate when teachers would say I was on their time. Hell-to-the-naw. This is our time and don’t waste on nonsense, besides they were getting paid to be there. If I didn’t go then they send my mother bad letters in the mail. This is doubly true with college professors. Not only are you paid to be here, but I am paying to listen to you…be more user friendly. So here is a list of some of the things that go through my mind at an all staff meeting.

* Is Trey (my man from High School and beyond) listening to this, hell naw he probably thinking how can he get some more money coming in.

*I have to remember to get my moms to Tivo The Boondocks, she gotta see it at least once.

*I need to polish my shoes, gotta keep the Clarks up.

*Oh God, Mr. Banks has to talk, this will be interesting let’s see who he blames. (The Teflon Don - nothing sticks to him no matter how much he screws up)

*What am I going to eat when I leave here.

*We need more Starbucks close to the hood. I’m tired of driving far for a Mocha fix.

*More white girls have butts now, I wonder what’s going on.

*If I start speaking with a Cockeny accent what will these people think?

*What language will I use to greet everyone before my presentation, I haven’t used Swahili.

*Sade is fine as hell.

*I should start writing in graffitti again, that’ll learn em.

*I don’t ever wanna feeeeeeeel, like I did that day…

*I hate parking meters.

*Frank Sinatra wouldn’t sit through this.

*“Is it raining, is it snowing is a Hurricane a blowing…Willa Wonka is on acid.

*I need to memorize “Ne Me Quitte Pas” it sounds sexy when you sing it.

*I wonder what the name of the knot I use in my tie is called, I don’t think it’s a Windsor.

*Jon Stewart is funny.

*I could probably kill 3 people in the room before anyone does anything.

*Is the Executive director wearing supportive stockings like my grandmother has or is that some kinky cross dressing thing?

*I wonder how long I can be out before they think I need to return to the office.

*I hope I present soon then I can spend 20 mins in the bathroom. After that I can pretend someone important is calling me.

*I wonder how many dead trees they’ve given me today. they should just email this stuff.

*The Executive Director needs to take a public speaking course.

*He just said irregardless.

*I should own more artwork.

*Why do people go to the Inner Harbor when the water is so dirty. I know places that aren’t tourist attractions that are much cleaner.

*My brain hurts.