“Oh sleep! It is a gentle thing,
Beloved from pole to pole.”
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

To hell with Benjamin Franklin…yeah I said it. Well maybe not him…see in the 1700’s he came up with the idea for daylight savings time. It wasn’t even really advocated for until the late 1800’s and adopted in the 1900’s. So I should say to hell with the people who went a ahead and adopted it. You people have found a way to make me late for an entire week. Your juvenille method of gaining sunlight is ruining me every year. I hate you. See I run by an internal clock. Yes I do have an alarm clock, but it only works when it’s in tune with my internal clock. This comes from staying with a girlfriend when I had to get up at 3:00am and she had to get up at 6:00am. I had to train myself to wake up that early. As a result whatever pattern I set my body becomes a slave to and it is a hard habit to break. Even back then around 10:00pm at night I would be knocked out and I couldn’t help it. This became more of a factor when I started pushing my body…staying out until one and two in the morning and getting up at 6:30. So now you people want me to lie to my body and tell it that’s it’s really an hour later than my body knows it is? I hate you and you’re wasting my usable leave hours at work. To hell with the stickler director to. You guys suck. Please just let me have my schedule. Let things be the way they were. Losing an hour sucks unless you wake up next to a body you like and empty condom wrappers. Yes I woke up on time, but my body says wait you’re early mate…sleep for another hour. Now I’m late. You need to be beaten with a bag of wet cats. If I see you in the street there will be a misunderstanding. To quote Bernie Mac…”it’s gon’ be furniture moving”. Damn you to hell and give me my hour back. Pay what you owe!

Sincerely,

The Daylight Savings Stalker