“Perhaps the apparent explosion of interest in sports and pornography means that men are trying to find new outlets to express their inherent maleness, which they may feel otherwise obligated to repress.”
Lionel Tiger

I said it c-o-n-spiracy. If you ever read The Decline of Males or heard one of my diatribes you’ve heard part of this argument. Today I submit for the humble reader a new component to this trend.

First it was the negative irrational side of feminism, then it was the metrosexual thing, now…it’s Brokeback. I contend that this film is another shot at the modern male and I intend to prove it. So over my vacation I went camping with some guys. Now I have always wanted to go camping with a special lady, but it usually turns out to be a guy trip. Some of these dudes S.O.’s gladly packed them up and shipped them off for the weekend. One of them asked, “what do ya’ll do there?” I instantly thought of that scene you see where the one dude’s wife says, ” I know what it means! You didn’t go up there to fish!” This sparked a chain of recognition in me and this is what I’ve concluded.

The positive side of feminism is that men and women are equal and should be treated as such. The negative side doesn’t even speak about women…it just says men are evil, stupid, dogs and we suck. Then the metrosexual thing comes along and determines that if a man is clean and takes care of himself he’s in another category from just plain men. Now Brokeback (on the heels of the whole downlow thing) makes it seem like if guys are going off and doing something in the woods, they’re secretly gay. All of these things weigh against the fact that there is no modern script for what a man is. It’s no longer a financial thing as many women have trouble when they make more than a man. It hasn’t been about hunting and bringing home food and animal pelts for a while. A man doesn’t have to know how to build. Hell a man doesn’t even have to be there for conception, you have sperm banks for that. It’s not about fighting cause I’ve been around some “enlightened” folks who wouldn’t even discuss the issue of scrapping. The treated me like a Jedi who asked if anyone knew how to turn to the Darkside. What the hell is going on people. I hear things like we should show our sensitive side, but don’t nobody want to be around a blubbering ass man! We’re told that we have to bring home the bacon, but an Independent woman will let you know quick she don’t need your money. So are men just intended to be pretty sex toys who mow the lawn and become debts to Social Service agencies? It is a fact that all male schools are being closed because people feel like there is no male “culture” and therefore nothing to be gained from such an institution.

So what did we have left? The rugged mountain man. He camps and fishes and shoots and has a dog. Then came Brokeback. Now him and his hunting buddy are lying next to each other talking about how they’re not “queer”. What is left? I remember they even had something out about how there was a bunch of “Brokeback” scenarios going on in locker rooms and what not…not even the athelete and creator of illegitimate kids. Now with this on my mind some of things I did sound brokebackish. Is Football and porno the last bastion of manhood. If I liked the Man Show does that count.