“That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired. ”
Peter Gibbons

My job used to be fun. I mean that, really. Not only would we get our work done and surpass goals, but we enjoyed ourselves. We…we were like the Rebel Alliance (yes I’m reffering to Star Wars). We had someone to stand against and even though our achievements helped him, he hated the way we did it so we were happy suceeding. Over time I was happy to come to work cause I knew I would crack jokes and have fun. I would download music on the organizations computer and burn C.D.s. Since we moved to this building it’s all changed. Here is my list of things that ruin your place of business:

1) Hovering over employees. Get away, moooove. You’re like a fly and you make me want to swat you. The more you hover the less work I do when you leave.

2) Counting the seconds. If you keep track of everytime I’m 5 minutes late I will never stay and put in extra time in any amount. When you don’t sweat me about slight lateness, I don’t sweat staying over some. When you demand I be here exactly at 9am I make sure at 5:01 my key is in the ignition.

3) Quick lunch. If you sweat me for taking anything longer than an hour for lunch then I will never again bring anyone, anything back when I go out. If I do then I demand at least 15 mins. of their lunch hour be added to mine in compensation.

4) No Music. If you never let me play music at all when your’re here, when you’re gone I will instantly blast music and YouTube videos and anything else that makes noise.

5) Stop shushing us. I’m a grown ass man dog. No group of people should spend time in confined spaces and never joke with each other. Unless your job involves sneaking behind enemy lines…and even they find time to joke.