Jury Duty
“Judge Ito! Have some of my burrito”
Pauly Shore
So I have Jury Duty tomorrow. Don’t think I’m paranoid, but they hate me. See when they first started sending me notices I just ignored them. I don’t even remember how many times I failed to show up, but the eventually sent me a letter that said if I didn’t come the next time they would come and get me. Since I have bad jail experiences I went ahead on. Now I swear I get Jury Duty more than anyone I know. I either end up sitting in a room all day with crappy movies playing or actually on a case that takes a couple days, meaning I have to park downtown - cause damn getting on a subway or bus at 5:00pm. Anyway the one good thing about Jury Duty is I still get a full days wage and I can eat lunch downtown. The other bonus is I’ve managed to find nice young ladies to spend my time with. Everything else pretty much sucks. I told them once that I couldn’t, because of my ethics, be involved in a case that sends someone to jail. They put me on cases that involve money instead. The good part was I got to stick it to an insurance company once. I have also developed some strategies to get out of jury duty. I had it on September 12th, 2001 and I forgot…you understand why. So I went the next day thinking I was on point. When I found my error I got clued in that if you tell them you came on the wrong day they mark you off and put you back in the system. Sweet. I have used jury duty on a day I didn’t get picked to take a paid day off. I don’t even remember what I did that day, but it was like cutting school and that’s good. As I sit in the waiting room listening to all the people complain I think if I was on a jury I wouldn’t want any of these people to deceide my fate. I need another option…I do give thanks that I’m not a federal employee like my moms, she has to turn down the money they give you. That’s good Quiznos money! I am thinking that now I don’t have any hair it opens up more flirting opportunities in the metro uurea. I just hope beyond hope that I won’t be selected for a case. Perhaps I’ll tell them I’m prejudiced against all races, women and people of different tax brackets. Maybe that will work. Or I could just say that I’m the last Jedi Master and I’m seeking apprentices…do you want to see my lightsaber?
i’ve never had jury duty, maybe it’s my previous prison sentence that has prevented my name from getting chosen. i don’t think it’s something i would look forward to, as i have a very short attention span & would probably miss something very important & then make a decision based on assumption. perhaps “short attention span” can be used as an excuse not to serve? would that work? since you can’t pay attention for very long, it would not make you an unbiased juror b/c you would only have the ability to pay attention to the interesting stuff.
Comment by jackie — June 7, 2006 @ 2:07 pm
I’ve never served any jury duty time. I was able to get out of one a couple of years ago.
Comment by Nikki — June 7, 2006 @ 8:22 pm
I’m Jamaican. I don’t have to do jury duty. Don’t you wish you were an immigrant like me? I mean, seriously, it’s not like your vote counts or anything.
Comment by God\'s Child — June 7, 2006 @ 9:15 pm
dude! good lookin’ out. your post just reminded me I have jury duty on friday. how schweeeet is that? I am wearing one of my ‘Kill White Tee’ t-shirts and I’m popping tags on a new pair of kicks if the rain lets up. thanx Amadeo.
http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?page_id=305
Comment by Bill Sunday — June 8, 2006 @ 12:53 am
I just got my notice in the mail. *channels Flawda Evans* “Damn, Damn, Damn”!
Comment by Lena — June 8, 2006 @ 3:30 am
Never done any jury duty. I can’t believe how often you have been chosen to be a jury of someone’s peers.
Comment by MizJJ — June 9, 2006 @ 2:25 pm
parking anywhere near the courthouse in B’more is hell! I had to park two blocks away on a Wednesday, and paying to park in the city sucks. Parking should always be free! Don’t we pay taxes for the roads and parking lots to be made?
I’d go witht the jedi master statement… I’d let ya crazy ass go! haha
Oh… it’s past… how was it?
Comment by Miss A — June 10, 2006 @ 2:29 pm