“Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.”
Chinese Proverb

I have always thought about the things I would teach my children and since I’m an uncle now I figure I have someone to start with already. So here is a list of things that I plan to teach my niece.

1) Your uncle is a great man.
It may seem arrogant, but hey if I want the others things to set in this is a good place to start. Besides, I have some stories to back it up and the fact that I’m loved by children and animals won’t hurt.

2) Star Wars rocks.
Yes I’ll influence her with my inner geek the first chance I get. Star Wars is great and she will know this. Matter of fact, perhaps I’ll call her my young padawan and tell her the force is strong with her. God knows I have plenty of Jedi mind tricks for the little ones.

3) Ray Lewis is the greatest Linebacker EVER
Some may debate this, but hey I’m the uncle here. Not only has he been Super Bowl MVP, League MVP, Defensive Player of the Year, a multiple Pro-Bowler and the first Baltimore football star since John Unitas…the guy is a force of nature on the field and he rose from a horrible position in life to being someone to look up to. Plus he brought Bmore a ring.

4) Love isn’t proven with words.
No matter what these dudes say words don’t mean much if the actions don’t back them. If a guy really loves you than he’ll do what’s best for you not just what he wants. If he loves you he’ll want to do what’s best for you. Guys don’t only want one thing…but they do want that, especially the young ones who’ve never had it. You’re the prize, let them earn you.

5) Throat and Solar Plexus.
Thanks to my mom and Humanity Critic I know two great ways to drop a guy. My first words would be don’t fight a dude in the first place, but if you need to get him off you the throat and the diaphragm are where you want to go. I’ll teach her about the twig and dingleberries being the last resort since I’m a man I can’t promote hitting there unless the situation is dire, besides I think most dudes are watching for that from a woman anyway.

6) A woman’s mystique is her greatest power.
When I see T&A it does not make me think about anything but sex. When I see a lovely woman who isn’t showing off, but her whole presence says that her even being there is showing off…I want to know her. I want to find out what’s up with her and I want her to know me. I’ve forgotten women from the first category that I actually slept with. Women from the second category who I never even met I still remember.

7) Karma is real.
No matter who you believe it just know that what you do will come back to you. Even if it’s just someone who felt wronged not helping you when you need it. Don’t be someone who has to learn from experience on everything. Do what’s right and you will be rewarded. In other words fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred and hatred leads to suffering this is the path to the Dark Side…yes that’s another Star Wars reference.

8) Listen to “Old School”.
What can I say this new stuff is mostly crap. The stuff I came up on is the joint. From Hip-Hop to R&B if you hear as much as you can you’ll know what’s what. Oh, and buy all the Nina Simone and Sade you can.

9) Observe.
Something I try to live by. Look at the things going on around you so that your surprises can be few and most of them will be good ones. You also get to understand peoples reactions and motivations and won’t have to put yourself in too many dangerous situations.

10) Know your family.
This is one of those learn from my regrets type of deals. I couldn’t help alot of it, even the fact that I’ve never met her mother in person or that I don’t know our father. Since you are the biggest motivation for me to connect with my fam, let me motivate you to know yours. You only get one and you can’t replace them, plus they help you to know yourself. Don’t sleep on them.

Anything you guys would add?