“Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt… me.”
BrickTop

In light of the fact that I have not spoken on the subject for a moment and that I’ll be getting ready to move early fall, I will now reveal some of the roommate insanity. I’d like to also add this as an ode to a whole blog dedicated to this subject. I feel her pain!

As per Bernie Mac I have named the basement dweller “Him Downstairs” people who don’t have money on a regular basis don’t warrant being called by name. So when something happens I say guess what he did. Who? Him Downstairs.

Nothing going on but the Rent
I won’t even mention the actual amount of money that I have gotten from this cat since he came to inhabit the basement, but my cousin has given me more than that in a two month span of time. When he does come up with money it’s always some wack amount like $30 bucks…that’s what it costs to fill my tank homie.

Rubber Ducky
This cat is old enough to be my father yet he acts like a child I should be raising. This is the only time in my life where I’ve had to remind someone else to wash the tub after they use it. I never had to be reminded myself. Plus this cat is the only person in the house that always has to take a bath. I don’t hate baths, but I don’t strictly take them the idea of sitting in the water I’m cleaning myself with is a little gross to me. A shower is a good thing, refreshing and not at all time consuming. Just for more detail this cat uses bubble bath, a grown ass man taking bubble baths. Then he’ll run the water, fill the tub and leave it sitting for God knows how long before he finally gets in. Then he’ll sit in the tub forever. It’s like yo you have a toilet in the basement, respect the fact that I use the one up here.

Pots and Pans
Fact about me: I was raised in a house with my grandmother…she really like to have things clean. I’ve noticed that things she used to say that bugged me have become part of my vocab just as things she used to do are part of how I operate. (Ex: when you’re done cooking wash the pots)
Fact about him: He must not have grown up this way.
Proof: This cat will cook something and then leave it sitting on the stove for way too long. Then he won’t place it a storage container and was the pots. He’ll just try to stuff the pots in the fridge, then come back and put the stuff in containers, but still the dirty pots sit in the sink as a matter of fact most times he will leave stuff in the sink so long my cousin will finally clean it. I have long since learned to wash instantly so as not to have to put my hands in that water.

Are you Deaf
Being that he is the resident bum this cat is most likely to be up at ungodly hours watching T.V. The problem with that is I messed up my T.V. downstairs so the only way to get sound is via the stereo. This cat will always have it too loud and have one of the speakers turned away from him. Too many times have I had to tell this grown man that I need some sleep and his T.V. time is preventing this. I keep forgetting to ask why he always turns one speaker away from him. If it’s too loud turn it down!

Suggestions
This cat is always trying to recommend something for me to watch and that wouldn’t be bad, but it’s always something that I’ve seen a million times or actually own. On top of all the other annoying things this just ticks me off even more. Yes, I’ve seen Episode III. Yes, I know which black author wrote three books that are ranked among classic literature. How do I know the answer…because you’re watching Count of Monte Cristo which I’ve seen and own the book. I don’t care about the special on the History Channel right now…my cable guide works I already knew it was coming on.

Pornstar
I’ve mentioned this before. I don’t have a problem if a grown man wants to watch porn. My problem is if you’re going to watch it at the weirdest times then turn it down. I don’t want to hear Debbie Doing Dallas when I’m waiting for my coffee before 8:30 a.m. Only people who work late shifts are allowed to watch porn loudly early in the morning. Frankly unless you have a woman in your room I think you need to keep that porn to yourself.

Outside Observations
So you know it’s not just me (and my cousin) who thinks he’s a bum. My ace was over the house one day and as we left out Him Downstairs asked him if he had a joint he could spare. Not do you have papers. Do you have a joint. Who the hell just walks around with spare joints on them, does he think my frinds are Mr. Nice Guy? Of course he asked this from his customary position on the couch. When we got outside all my friend could say was, “He look like he eats samiches, with mad meat on it that he didn’t pay for.”