Why I watch the News
“Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.”
Stephen Colbert
I hate the news. Yes I do, it sucks. Everytime I watch the news it makes me think of the Incubus song Agoraphobia:
“I read the news today
and everything they say
just makes me want to stay inside and wait…”
Makes me want to stay inside for good. There are a few things, however, that make news programs besides the Daily Show and The Colbert Report worth watching and they are as follows:
Gabrielle Abiera
I never really care about the traffic report cause I drive through the city. During the days of no cable I found a reason to tune in though. This sweetheart made me concerned about the state of I-83 in the morning…well that’s a lie I really just tuned in to check out her outfit and hope they give a nice body shot while she’s turned to the side.
Claudia Palacios
No I don’t watch Caracol Noticias, but she makes me wish I did. She’s only a year older than me and is a good reason to go to Columbia Though I’m a little bit disturbed that she has IBS. That’s not very sexy…certainly makes her the first person on this list to go.
Shelly Dass
My man True loves going to Trinadad…loves it. He always comes back with good stories and good pictures. He is the best advertisment for the country I’ve come across…next to her.
Soledad O’Brien
Didn’t you see this coming…I mean you had to consider it, right? As Stephen Colbert calls her “the global village that is Soledad O’Brien” is fine. Plus ripping into Michael Brown was very sexy. I’m sure deep in my heart that under that proper news anchor facade is a frisky woman. Besides since she is damn near everything (australian, irish, afrocuban) I can really mess with peoples minds if they try to hit me with the traitor to my race card. It’s all about unity…in my pants.
I see you have a particular look you enjoy when watching said news.
I was watching the news in Baltimore last week and one station, I
think it was Channel 11 had three overweight brotha that looked exactly the same.
And I think one does weather. had to seriously study the entire broadcast to make it wasn’t just one brotha working overtime. I think maybe that’s my preference. Thick newsy dudes. lol
Comment by So...Wise — August 23, 2006 @ 4:07 pm
I can not watch the news. It is full of crap and it is always completely out of context. Drives me crazy. Instead of explaining anything they just give you a 30 second sound bite.
Comment by MizJJ — August 23, 2006 @ 5:12 pm
Unity in your pants!!!
I love it!
Comment by God\'s Child — August 23, 2006 @ 6:23 pm
Wow–I’m surprised you didn’t squeeze Sofia Vergara or Roslyn Sanchez in there as newscasters somehow someway. Like implying that they supply “beauty news” or something like that.
Comment by jackie — August 23, 2006 @ 11:32 pm
I try to keep up with world news as opposed to the local ones. The local stuff with Va, DC, & Md is just downright tragic and too sad. Usually consisting of kids getting killed and grandparents being struck by random gunfire. It just saddens me to death man. But I also understand how important we stay connected to the going on in our locales as well as the world. Sad though, the world is just as sick a place as the events taking place in our backyard man.
Comment by Luke Cage — August 24, 2006 @ 12:56 pm