retrosexual (ret.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. A man with an undeveloped aesthetic sense who spends as little time and money as possible on his appearance and lifestyle.

metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.

All of the definitions. The variations. I’m sick of all of it I’ve been called a metrosexual but I refuse the title. I also refuse the title of retrosexual cause, hell why can’t I just be a man. So here is the manifesto. I won’t make a classification for this. A real man doesn’t fit into a box unless you call him good.

I being of sound mind and body do declare that I am a man. As such I work and earn money to provide for myself and my family(if I have one). I own clothes that I can do physical work in and I own clothes I could wear in an office. I lift furniture and carry things. I may not know how to assemble a car or build a house but, I can fix things and I do own some tools. I don’t get manicures, not cause I think it’s sissy but, I might have to do some type of work that would render it useless so I don’t bother. I clip my nails cause you can’t give strong dap when your nails are long. I can cook but, I won’t be the only person in the house cooking things. I don’t cry whenever I feel sad, as a man I have to show strength so that other men won’t try to get over on me. I know that I must be ready to fight. I can think it’s barbaric or childish, but I won’t get my ass whooped without putting up a strong effort. I am a gentleman, as such I understand that gratitude is the price of chivalry so those who brush off my efforts are not eligible to receive them. I can build a fire and use microsoft office. I have feelings and they run deep but, I do not let them rule me. I know that my feelings won’t matter as much as my responsibilities so that’s what I focus on. I know what quality is: in women, clothes, drinks and more. I know that a particular name doesn’t equate quality but, some names have proved theirs over time. I understand that everything I do is with the ultimate goal of making life better for my future generations so they come first. I can handle my drinks and if I can’t I know whatever I do is my fault. I don’t chase women cause they aren’t inclined to run away from me. I don’t follow fads cause the essence of me can’t be captured in one moment and certainly not by a trend. I know how to love and make love to a woman but, I also understand what she should do for me. I do not have to be flashy cause I know the people who I need to connect with can see my virtue, besides I don’t need to advertise cause I’m not for sale. I can and will dance just not to everything. I avoid violence but, I will hit someone first under the right circumstances. I try to do the right thing. I don’t need to just watch movies with explosions and gunfire. I will not watch movies I label as “marketed to women” unless it’s for research purposes. I don’t need to be overly aggressive. I don’t have to make threats. I curse, just not every other word. I can give women my opinion on clothes and shoes up to a certain point. We don’t have as many choices ladies so we don’t have as many options, plus after 7 pairs how can I really stay interested? I am not obligated to have an opinion about a purse. Only men with man bags should have an opinion about a purse. I do not carry a man-bag. Taking off my hat inside is a personal choice. Having a lotion or soap with Vitamin E or Aloe is not a big deal. I wear scents but, my dresser doesn’t look like a beauty section in a department store. I know one of the great joys is sitting in my boxers with a cup of coffee and watching Sportscenter. I should not be asked stupid questions when watching football. I can and will turn down sex when I choose. The big head thinks for the little head…the little head can make suggestions though. I don’t gossip. I can hold a conversation on politics, art, culture, which linebacker is the greatest and which female pop-star could get it. I am not a sugar daddy. I’d rather talk in person than on the phone. I know that if I am married and I do manual labor my wife should cook something for me - for no other reason than no one should do sweaty, hard labor and not get fed..even inmates on the chain gang don’t have to cook for themsleves. I know that a cop, a mayor or a president are only people and are not to be obeyed without question.

To be continued…

Any suggestions?