Amadeo Sogni

“Man, I thought New York was the only place to end up in a murder rap, Jesus Christ!”
Dally

Everyone needs a good friend. This cat was one of the best. This before Mr. Miyagi, Ghost, couch jumping and Polly. Most of the cats in this movie were just about nobody at the time. So this one of my favorite movies that only had star power after the fact. I have a lot of friends, some good, some I just speak to (I guess that really isn’t friendship). I’m not sure if my best friend is Johnny good though. I’m pretty sure my best friend is not Karate Kid lame though…only Mr. Miyagi had his back, Johnny had a whole crew. Here is a quiz to find out how good your friends are based on the Ralph Macchio Scale.

The catagories for placement are:
I) Johnny Cade II) Karate Kid

1) Is your friend perpetually poor and gets no hand outs?

2) If you say let’s runaway will your friend ask why or just start running?

3) Has your friend had their ass kicked?

4) Would your friend stab someone trying to drown you?

5) Is your friend the Best Arooooooooound and is nothing-ever-gonna-keep-him-down?

6) Your friend gets his ass kicked does he:
a) Carry a knife.
b) Learn Karate from the super.

7) Your friend is getting picked on by the rich popular kids, would your friend:
a) Prove he’s as good as the rich kids
b) Organize a rumble with the rich kids

8) Would your friend say it’s not fair, Darry and Soda are worried about you?

9) Does your friend know the boys were worried?

10) Does your friend learn not only Karate, but life values?

11) Does your friend “always look eye”?

12) Does your friend sneak into movies?

13) Does your friend pay to play mini-putt?

14) Is your friend happy at home?

15) Would your friend rather sleep in a park than go home?

16) Does your friend know that sixteen years just isn’t gonna be long enough?

17) Is your friend a creampuff?

18) Does your friend listen when old drunk Okinawans sing?

19) Will your friend never joke you cause your name is Ponyboy and your brother is Soda-pop?

20)What would your friends shining moment be:
a) Winning a Trophy and still having prove himself for two more movies.
b) Sacrificing his life to save some kids.

O.k. this is how we score…you know what the hell with scoring the Karate Kid was damn wus, yeah I said it. Johnny wasn’t the ultimate hardbody, but when people messed with his friend he stabbed somebody and went on the run with him. Hell he even listened to his man kick some Robert Frost without calling him gay. You never heard anybody say “Let’s do it for Daniel-San!”. Did you? Hell no! If your friend is like the Karate Kid he is a chump, I command you to sweep his leg. Johnny didn’t go crying to his mother about how he didn’t like it where they were. He put his mother out of the hospital room. Daniel was a high school kid who probably got molested by an old man from Okinawa. Johnny was a Greaser, the only thing him and his friends studied was whooping your ass. Johnny FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!