“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. “
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

So yesterday I went over some ways to kill time while feining interest in being a productive employee. Today is for those who care not.

1) The Internet is for Sharing - Yes I have passed on “Dick in a Box” to co-workers and the joint with the dude from India getting busted on the telephone. Hell the internet is full of mind-degrading uneducational goodness and I feel as though my co-workers should be able to stifle their laughter the same as I did when I saw it.

2) I win the Internet - Sp what if I like to argue with teenage white kids on the interweb? For all their knowledge they have no wisdom and I like to point this out to them. It doesn’t change the world and it’s not considered a community service. It’s just something I like to do on company time.

3) Annoy - I’ve talked about pranking my coworkers but, I also like to annoy them. That’s right I just do annoying things. I like to move things they’re reading, or throw their pens. Just a moment I go I was throwing balled up scraps of paper at someone. It makes me feel good (No Halle Berry). Some times I just stand in peoples doorways and stare at them with my arms crossed. The beauty in this is it doesn’t even require much thought, it’s just hella fun to get the reactions you do.

4) Internet - The Quiet Side - During this week I have surfed a mighty sum. I will visit every blog I have a link for and then some of the blogs they have links to. I will go to wikipedia and search for things for no reason at all. I will go to sites to look at things I plan to buy and things I may never buy. I’ll price a Mini-Cooper just for the hell of it. I’ll pull up information about Squanto and Sammoset. Perhaps I’ll spend the whole day finding out what Ms.Dewey says.

5) I be Smoking - You non-smokers can’t take advantage of this but those who do should. I take smoke breaks. Since my time isn’t all regulated I may take 15 in a day. I might not even smoke but, that’s what people will think when I head out the door. Sometimes I just stare at the sky and try to guess the time by looking at the sun. Other times I just zone out and look at my boots.

6) Zone Out - Sometimes you just have to stare at things. Your desk, a wall, a pencil, you may even stare off into nothingness. When I say zone out I mean not really even thinking about anything just…zoning. You may hear music and you may not. It doesn’t matter.

7) Walk-about - Sometimes I just walk around the office. Not really to talk to anyone or do anything. I just walk around. I go out into the lobby. I go down into the basement. I walk to the computer lab. I go into the back offices. Sometimes I pretend I’m ice skating…but only for a few seconds at a time.

I would continue this but, I’m actually more interested in how you guys waste time when your hardly (or not even) working.