When you just don’t care
“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. “
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)
So yesterday I went over some ways to kill time while feining interest in being a productive employee. Today is for those who care not.
1) The Internet is for Sharing - Yes I have passed on “Dick in a Box” to co-workers and the joint with the dude from India getting busted on the telephone. Hell the internet is full of mind-degrading uneducational goodness and I feel as though my co-workers should be able to stifle their laughter the same as I did when I saw it.
2) I win the Internet - Sp what if I like to argue with teenage white kids on the interweb? For all their knowledge they have no wisdom and I like to point this out to them. It doesn’t change the world and it’s not considered a community service. It’s just something I like to do on company time.
3) Annoy - I’ve talked about pranking my coworkers but, I also like to annoy them. That’s right I just do annoying things. I like to move things they’re reading, or throw their pens. Just a moment I go I was throwing balled up scraps of paper at someone. It makes me feel good (No Halle Berry). Some times I just stand in peoples doorways and stare at them with my arms crossed. The beauty in this is it doesn’t even require much thought, it’s just hella fun to get the reactions you do.
4) Internet - The Quiet Side - During this week I have surfed a mighty sum. I will visit every blog I have a link for and then some of the blogs they have links to. I will go to wikipedia and search for things for no reason at all. I will go to sites to look at things I plan to buy and things I may never buy. I’ll price a Mini-Cooper just for the hell of it. I’ll pull up information about Squanto and Sammoset. Perhaps I’ll spend the whole day finding out what Ms.Dewey says.
5) I be Smoking - You non-smokers can’t take advantage of this but those who do should. I take smoke breaks. Since my time isn’t all regulated I may take 15 in a day. I might not even smoke but, that’s what people will think when I head out the door. Sometimes I just stare at the sky and try to guess the time by looking at the sun. Other times I just zone out and look at my boots.
6) Zone Out - Sometimes you just have to stare at things. Your desk, a wall, a pencil, you may even stare off into nothingness. When I say zone out I mean not really even thinking about anything just…zoning. You may hear music and you may not. It doesn’t matter.
7) Walk-about - Sometimes I just walk around the office. Not really to talk to anyone or do anything. I just walk around. I go out into the lobby. I go down into the basement. I walk to the computer lab. I go into the back offices. Sometimes I pretend I’m ice skating…but only for a few seconds at a time.
I would continue this but, I’m actually more interested in how you guys waste time when your hardly (or not even) working.
Cleary I need to work at your job!
Since I recently diagnosed myself with ADD, I mostly just sit and daydream…like right now…
Comment by Wise — December 20, 2006 @ 11:22 pm
I
–pester my coworkers asking them stuff like –when such and such happens–what’s the word for that? (like when you transpose letters in a word: purty instead of pretty. It’s called metathesis)
–read blogs or the NY Times copiously.
–chat on IM.
–price apartments on craigslist though I am not going anywhere
–shop online without buying anything when I need a quick shopping fix
–fill out interlibrary loan requests
–renew my library books & dvds
–google myself and people I know or don’t know
–pay my bills online
–read movie reviews on yahoo movies even though I won’t see the movies
–turn up the thermostat and not tell anyone and then laugh to myself when they feel hot
–drink coffee
Comment by God's Child — December 21, 2006 @ 7:09 pm
Make a great one this Holiday season!
Wishing U:
“a taste a heaven in 07, see U then!”
bK bAbE!
Comment by bk babe — December 21, 2006 @ 8:25 pm
Hey, what happened with you trying to quit smoking ? Gave in, huh? (so did I) :>
Comment by dragonflypurity@gmail.com — December 22, 2006 @ 12:54 am
oh i am so happy i came by.
well, it’s been a long time but now that i am actually working i ll tell you what i do when i am hardly doing so (which happens quite a lot since i am working for a rich family as a nanny right now to pay my school back and blablalba this woman does’nt really need me yahoo!)
ahm let’s see:
as a waitress i would:
go to the bathroom and just sit on the toilet and stare at the ceiling. i dind’t smoke back then so i didon’t have a legitimate five minute break right.
i would eat little chocolates they used as a snack for coffees.
i would flirt with the chefs
i would zone out polishing wine glas
as a nanny I
pretend to be busy by walking from here to there
hide on the couch behind the plants in the hall with the little fountain and put my legs up pretending to read kids books
go upstairs and use the nanny mom’s expensive facial creams for my pretty face
talk on the phone to random people in my address book telling them how much i appreciate them being in my life (haha)
eat dark chocolate with rasperry pieces in it (very expensive, very good)
eat other organic food i find in the fridge
drink very expensive wine alone or with the mother
move dust crums around on an otherwise immaculate dining table
bring the trash outside and staying there for longer looking into the sky
taking the kids out and make them stay and watch until the sun sank into the ocean
talk to the housekeeper about rich people in spanish
it’s pretty boring. i like more what you are doing. but then again, you are in an entirely different setting.
oh i like to go through their music collection and ‘borrow’ cd’s to burn onto my computer while i iron their napkins.
:) it’s a good life in california hahahaha
Comment by piranha — December 22, 2006 @ 6:26 am
I’m embarrassed to admit I have, too passed on DITB cause it was funny! I am not familiar with the other joint, so if you could see fit to hook a sistah up, I would be truly grateful! God Jul!
Comment by Gina — December 23, 2006 @ 8:52 pm
I’m going to check out every blog on my “favorites” today.
I spent the last 2 1/2 hours on the Straight Dope Message Board and the Hataboard.
I’m going to clean out my online paperwork - Delete is my friend today.
I’m going to my chiropractor today for lunch. Yay!
Comment by jali — December 27, 2006 @ 3:50 pm
I need to rework my day so I can figure out how to fit 15 smoke breaks into a day. I barely have time for 3, and by that time, I’m gettin’ my puff on. I keep telling you that you’re my workplace sensai.
Comment by NinaMM — December 29, 2006 @ 7:49 am