“Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath. “
Solon (638 BC - 559 BC)

Let me adjust that title. Homeless people and hustlers seem to love me. So it’s monday and I’m on my last few hours of freedom from the J - O. I get off the train and head towards Starbucks. I go to stop in 7-11 first and there’s a dude standing on the corner…I see it coming. I mean it’s a regular post up for people trying to get some change. Anyway for some background: I’m not broke per se, I am at the start of a payweek and at the point where you have money but, I know exactly how many Venti Mochas or whatever I can have this week. I just dropped $5.50 in quarters (in addition to some bills) to cop my weekly pass for the train. Basically it’s one of those times where you know exactly how much money you have on you. Anyway dude sees me and he goes to work. “Can I have 50 cent to get a hotdog?”, “I don’t have any change”, “Can I have a dollar?”, “Sorry moe”, “C’MON MAN! I’m trying to get something to EAT!”, “I DON”T HAVE IT LIKE THAT!”. Yeah now I’m pissed, the worst thing in the world is when you’re close to broke or already there and someone says something that reminds you of how much money you have. So hit seves than run up to Starbucks. My man was talking about treating me to a flick so I figured I would get the first of my Mochas for the week. He rolls through and we step outside. I pull my last black out the box and before I light it I hit the corner to throw away the empty box. Before I even make it back I see the next one coming. This one is waving and calling to me from across the street. When he gets close I realize I’ve seen him before -

SEGUE!!!!

About three months ago I’m chilling outside of my job and this guy comes over. He’s already talking on the way so I know something is up. Boy does he have a deal for me. A bag full of soaps, shampoo and conditioners (From some upscale-ish hotel). He’s willing to sell them to me for a measley five bucks. Now I wouldn’t have bought them if I had a G on me but, on this day I had like 3 bucks in my pocket. He’s going on and on and on. He’s about to get S.S.I. checks soon. He just needs to hustle some cash up. So I finally get to say what I’ve been trying to say . “I only got 3 three bucks and I’m buying some food for lunch with that.” Guess what? That’s not a problem. He’ll sell me half the bag for two!!!! I’m like nah I’m hungry. Oh Yeah! He’s got a better deal!!! He’ll give me half the bag and his Cup ‘O Noodles for three. I let him know that I can’t get no hot water for it at work. He has a solution!!! All I have to do is put some cold water in and let it sit for 10 minutes!!! I finally persuade him that I’m not buying and I figure that I’ll never see him again. WRONG! WRONG!

Back to Monday: So here he comes again. This time he’s got an even better deal! Two damp jackets (yes I said damp) that he found. He’s letting the pair go for only $200!!! It takes like 15 minutes to convince him that we are not interested in them. He warned us that he will dry them out and rock them if we don’t buy them. Then he asks if he can get a black off me. My ace is ready to enjoy my misery (being that I already told him about the last incident at the other end of the block). He starts saying, “Yeah let him get a black off you.” I end up breaking a portion of my lit black. Now At this same time there’s a woman standing on the corner that he came from and as soon as he leaves she’s rolling up on us. She’s an older woman with a cane and all that and she’s just asking us to help her out. My man hits her with a dollar and some change and I give her my change from seves and at this point I tell my man to get me out of there before we get rushed. People love me. What is it they say about playing poker?
If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.