Don’t make me Baldwin your ass!!!

“Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.”
Robert Byrne
“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child!”
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), “King Lear”, Act 1 scene 4
“Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.”
Robert Orben
I had to take some time from breaking down the various races to chime in on something in the media.
Calling your daughter a rude little pig is probably bad…I think. However, I’m having trouble with the uproar around dudes phone message. He didn’t say he was going to beat his daughter with a hammer or smack her with a puppy. So to quote Eric Cartman, “What’s the big fucking deal bitch?” I (and everyone I grew up with) has been spoken to in that tone and some of those phrases have been thrown in there as well. For some reason everyone thinks saying, “I’m coming to straighten your ass out” is a big deal. I can’t even recall how many times I’ve heard that exact phrase in that exact tone in my childhood. I plan to use it myself. On a side note the worst usage involves coming to your school…nothing worse then getting straightened out in front of other kids.
Let’s get something straight, what dude did is a fathers job. It’s the main part. A father is there to let you know that at any given time he will:
a) Monkey Stomp you
b) Destroy you then make some more kids that look just like you
c) Stomp a mudhole in your ass
d) Pop you if you don’t thank your mother
Now considering that the family is not together and dude apparrently has specific times to even call his daughter not to mention see her, I could imagine being hella pissed if she just was never there to take your call. I’d also be pissed at her mother who get’s to be around her as much as she wants for not looking out. Peep it out peoples: A daughter is the only woman (mothers rarely live long enough) that a man can lavish all of his love and attention upon without worrying about being taken for granted, used, and thrown away. Fathers raise their sons and love their daughters. It’s gotta hurt like hell when that person is leaving you out to dry. The father up in him just kicked into gear. Amazingly he never even threatened to kick anybody’s ass. If I felt disrespected in that way I might have to at least threaten an ass whooping. Hell where I’m from you at least get told that your ass would get whooped for doing stuff. See the point isn’t what you’re doing…it’s that you’re not doing what you were told to do. As a matter of fact I applaud dude for his initiative. Money was gonna hop on a coast to coast flight, set shorty straight and then go back home again. Hardbody fatherhood. I will come across the country for your ass! Plus when you think about who’s children she is and then watch a couple of episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen. She needs that type of stuff. Otherwise she’ll be bitching cause he didn’t buy her a dress that costs more than my annual salary one day. Everything he said (with the exception of “rude little pig” at the end…which doesn’t sound that bad as I type it…he didn’t call her an asshole) was all good with me. I actually don’t think he should regret his words. Perhaps that they’re on display for all, but I hear much worse things said without any anger everyday…don’t even ask what I hear when people are angry…and I’m talking kids younger than 5. This is some American “New Parent” crap. Most of these people complaining are probably the same ones I see in supermarkets whose kids are cussing them out. You gotta let ‘em know young. Even Bill Cosby said it, “I brought you into this world and I will take you out.” These are the same people that when your kid kills someone or something say it’s because they weren’t disciplined at home. He was setting his daughter straight. There needs to be more of that in this world. Now, a message to my future kids:
“Hey this is your pops…don’t come here starting no shit cause I will set your asses straight! Aiight! I will beat you until you can’t grow anymore!!! I don’t have any problem bringing it to someone shorter than 4 ft. tall either!!! Don’t start no shit!!! Tell your mother the food is good!!!
I actually thought what Alec Baldwin did was tame. Not once did he curse her out. Sure, he called her a pig, and maybe it wasn’t warranted, maybe it was. We have no idea of knowing what kind of behavior his daughter has displayed in the past, so she may be a bad kid, but I think America read more into it than was there.
My parents got on me when I was out of line as a child and it helped to make me a better person today. They weren’t abusive, but they did put me in my place. And seeing how some of these kids today behave, somebody needs to put them in their place. That’s the problem with society today. Many of these punk ass parents are letting their kids run over them. Be a parent!
Comment by Nikki — April 25, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
Amadeo BRAVO!!!! I got slammed at the job the other day for asking, “what is the uproar about?” In fact, not 2 hours ago I wrote in someone’s comment space that when I heard the rant, I laughed! Sure, calling your daughter a pig is probably not going to win you Best Father of the Year award, but much like Nikki said, we have no idea what his daughter said to set him off. He sounded like a guy who had been trying and reached the end of his rope, and not once did he say he was going to eradicate her from our plane of existence.
What part of “I’m coming to straighten you out” equated to him posing some physical danger to his daughter. He may have meant taking some kind of allowance, computer, porsche (lol) or some other toy or perks that she’s used to getting. After all, I’m sure princess gets quite a bit from both of her superstar parents. So, I’m with ya buddy. Once again. Peeeace!
Comment by Luke Cage — April 26, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
mountain out of a molehill as usual. I’m just waiting for my yout to get to a stage where he can understand me properly. let him try any ish and think i’m letting it slide. oh helll no.
Comment by jdid — April 26, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
I so agree wtih you, when ever I talked back to my mother she would tell me she was going to knock my teeth out of my head and see if I would talk back then, and I knew better than to say another word. And I turned out OK. it’s a twisted planet.
Comment by Eslocura — April 26, 2007 @ 11:58 pm
I love that last picture. LOVES IT!!! Hilarious. You already know how I feel about this. That kid got off easy.
Comment by Miz JJ — April 27, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
just because youve been called various names and treated like crap by your parents dont make it right. The kid got off easy?? The hell is wrong w/ you people? He was a drunk,and spoke abusively to her. she didn’t want to talk to him, can you tell me what is wrong wit that? I got my but wupped when well deserved but if y’all think frightening your kids will make them respect you, guess again. If your kid looks like that when you come home DSS should be takin’ ‘em away.
He called her a rude little pig….I could see how that would scar a child forever, oh and he said he was going to straighten her out…yeah she’s going to end up on the 8th floor for certain.
Amadeo
Comment by keesha — April 30, 2008 @ 5:16 pm