Amadeo Sogni

“Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.”
Joseph Wood Krutch

Dear Bird,

Sincerely,

Amadeo

“Education… has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.”
G. M. Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)

So people lie…alot. The sad thing is, in my business I know the urge to lie to make your numbers look better. If the numbers don’t look good than the funding is gone. With graduations coming up again I can’t help but wonder how many people are getting pushed through and how many people just didn’t make it…and how many of that last group got dropped from the roll in time to see that the school got paid for them. I was watching this documentary on The 300 and the lives of Spartans. I thought if we treated the education of our children like this we would be nearing Utopia by now. The only people in Sparta who could have a headstone on their grave was a soldier who died in battle or a mother who’s child became a soldier. From the age of 7 a boys life was dedicated to learning to be a soldier. It wasn’t easy either. However there was also no disparity. No one got special treatment. You could hack it or you couldn’t. These people understood one thing. Each of these children were to be an important part of their country. The numbers they looked at were survivors. Perhaps it seems cruel, but is it more cruel than allowing large portions of society to fall to the side so that they can prop up a smaller portion? Imagine if you will, that the money you were born to didn’t matter. Your families achievements were nothing. Everything rested on what you could accomplish. No one was given an advantage because people realized that the whole was more important. Meanwhile schools in the innercity suck…but we can all pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Oh wait, you don’t have boots? How’s your credit rating?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit. Get the fuck off of my obstacle. Get the fuck down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.”

Dear Democrats,

Hey you spineless pansies, how are you? I was very disappointed to find out that you backed down from Big bad Dubya on the war funding bill. What is your major malfunction? You let these jerks shine you on with this whole “support” the troops nonsense, despite the fact that plenty of the troops want to come home. You may not have been able to pass the bill you wanted, but the point was that you were there to stand up to him on our behalf. That’s why you guys got voted in during the last election. We have no faith in him and now you’ve given us no reason to have as much faith in you as I do in believing that I can clap my hands and save Tinkerbell’s life. I wish I could gouge out your eyes and skullfuck you all. The main ones that voted against the bill are running for president and voted mostly to keep up face. Damn you all to hell. The majority of voting America supported you and you spineless turds backed down. If you were on fire I wouldn’t piss on you…if you were not ablaze then I’d consider it. I feel dumber for even having come out to vote for any of you. Man the hell up. You better master your fear and realize what your job is about. At least, don’t talk all that stand tough shit if you’ll just back down once the pressure is on. I hope you all get beaten with a bag of nickels. Or better yet we should beat you with a bag of bullets extracted from the bodies of soldiers who need you to stand up for them. Y’know…those soldiers that would face court martial if they spoke out? The ones that have real pressure in the form of bullets, snipers and exploding civilians. I hope you get turked by a syphilitic bear while you’re on your vacation…repeatedly. If I could I would shove my voters registration card up your nostril. Piss off you stupid blighters.

Amadeo

“The young know how truly difficult and dreadful youth can be. Their youth is wasted on everyone else, that’s the horror. The young have no authority, no respect.”
Anne Rice (1941 - )

So I’ve been on the run all week. Tuesday I had to take 9 cats to get their haircut. Wednesday I had to run them to a job fair. Thursday it’s a men’s group. A men’s group that by the way these folks seem to want me to sit around and hold cats hands and talk about their feelings. You can’t do that with young black me age 16 - 21. I’m trying to get them working with my man, but some of these “authority figures” seem to get nervous when there’s a black man in the building they can’t fire. I mean it’s hard enough to get these cats to put on a pair of khaki pants. I’m about to bring in Boyz N Da Hood. “See! Gangstas wear khakis! You can still be hard with them on!” It might actually help in the whole “getting a job” process as well. Novel concept…I know. It’s hard enough work to get some of these cats to not curse as much as they breathe in and out. This whole profession is a balancing act. Two extremes on different sides that are really only two sides of the same coin. Emotions. Some people can just mask theirs a little longer. These cats only mask pain…but not really. It’s just reflected in anger. As much as I like when I can help cats, this job drains you. Thank God for a three day weekend.

“No one’s really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends”
Gilbert Lowe (Revenge of the Nerds)

I’ve already flown my freak flag, but now it’s time to put up the geek flag. Despite the cool demeanor and slick wardrobe…under it all lies a geek. I partially blame my mother, because of whom I have seen more black and white/science fiction movies than anyone my age should have.

*This should be a point on the list but in case a geek should come across this: the quote from revenge of the nerds is appropriate because even though all geeks are not nerds…the interests of nerds 99.9% of the time qualify them as geeks. BTW

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d!

I have been in the theatre for every Star Wars movie (even though they are almost a year older than me), this includes the Special Edition re-releases. I can also identify every update, extra scene and revision in these films.

All of these terms make sense to me: FPS, NPC, 42, pwn3d, All your base are belong to us, l33t, trolling, YHBT.

I have a definitive post on why the Alien is better than the Predator.

It is a viable option for me to quit my job and earn money on a spree of gameshows…including Jeopardy, right Myisha? (ask her about my dominance)

I can name at least 10 creatures that fought Godzilla and I know who Godzuki is.

I know The creators ofMighty Morphin Power Rangers are just biting out of Voltron and Ultraman.

I know that in Army of Darkness the phrase Ash was supposed to say was “Klaatu Verata Nikto”, I also know it comes from “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, I also know the reason it was said in that movie.

I can sing at least 3 songs from the animated versions of The Hobbit and Return of the King. I also know that The Lord of the Rings anime was done by Zaentz Prod. and Ralph Bakshi whereas the others were Rankin Bass.

I think Rankin Bass kicks ass.

I can tell you that Leslie Nielson was the Commander in “The Forbidden Planet”.

…and the guy who made the Robby the Robot in that movie was hired to make the Robot for the Lost in Space T.V. Show.

I know that Clint Howard (Ron Howards older brother was in an episode (The Corbomite Manuever) of Star Trek. He was also in five episodes of The Andy Griffith Show.

I can do the hand gesture Spock does when he says “Live long and prosper.”

When people ask me to do things I can’t or don’t want to do I say, “Damn it Jim I’m a doctor not a…”

My Grandmother knows Eric Braeden as Victor from “As the World Turns” but I know him as Dr. Charles Forbin.

I think that Artificial Intelligence will led to the destruction of Mankind…Colossus: The Forbin Project, I, Robot, The Terminator, and The Matrix agree with me.

I hate that Imhotep is “The Mummy” in those movies.

I like Mighty Joe Young more than King Kong.

The place from Deep Impact where the lottery winners got to go would in real life be Mt. Weather. It’s all about whats beneath the surface.

No one believes me about capturing pieces en passant, but it’s helped me win some chess matches.

I think the T-shirts here are cool.

I never liked AOL.

Ctrl+Alt+Del is my equivalent of going nuclear.

Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z is the best animated series ever.

I built a crystal radio when I was in the 4th grade, but not at or for school.

“There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.”
Henry Miller

So I’ve been using the MTA as of late. I don’t care about the Global Warming or any other good reason to not drive a car, the MTA is the best argument to have a car payment. Since I’ve been at this address I’ve had an episode on the bus every week. Times when I think nothing will happen it goes down at the last possible moment. I’ll preface with this: I go to the back so I can see both doors and because even though I’m willing to give up my seat, alot of people avoid coming to the back of the bus. So there will be some open seats and most people stand before coming all the way back. It’s the back door syndrom. I think some people believe that if they go past the back door they are in no man’s land or something, or maybe they think they won’t be able to get off in time for their stop. Keep in mind that there are six incidents here and I’ve been catching this bus for 7 weeks (I didn’t count the week I was on vacation). So for your reading pleasure here are some of the greatest (worst) moments on the MTA.

1)Cocaine is a hell of a drug
This one wasn’t much, but it was a red flag. So I’m on the bus and the dude next to me keeps fiddling around in his pocket. I can tell he’s pulling something out, but I’m not really paying attention. So then he moves his bag out of the way and leans over to put his face over his hand. He’s all tucked into the wall, however, it wasn’t hard to tell that dude is sniffing…on the goddamned bus. He couldn’t even wait a little while. He couldn’t do like everyone else and just drink a beer. As I said this was just the herald.

Motocross
So here we come up Harford Rd. and before we can hit 25th St. (the next big street) we pass Cliftview Ave., a small side street. So from my window seat at the back of the bus I see tearing down Cliftview some cat on a little dirtbike. Then I realize he’s about to try to make a left turn into the right lane in between the bus and the curb. He did not make it. I hear a loud thump his head appears in the window for a sec and then I hear something sliding to the back of the bus. The bus driver stops to check on him and in my mind I’m saying, “This kid is gone.” I look out the window and sure nuff he’s limping his way up the street as his friends bounce with the bike. The bus sat there for like 15 minutes. I wasn’t sure if this was funny or not, but when I calculated that he was riding illegal and his friends were going to laugh at him later…I figured it was.

2)Generation Gap
So I’m on the bus stop with two young girls and we get on and go to the back. There are two older women sitting in the back and they look over 40. Well I always have the ipod rocking so I didn’t hear the first words said. I did hear the loud response from one of these women. Basically her sister was nodding out and the young girl told her friend to look. Well the conscious one didn’t take to that well at all and she started going off about how she would beat this girls ass if she had a problem. The young girl, of course, started popping off cause she’s fearless and the fuck you and what you wanna do festival was on…with me in the middle…for 15 blocks. So these two are going back and forth when the little girl makes a call on her cell phone. Whoever she calls, she tells them the situation and hangs up. So the older woman, not to be outdone, get’s on her boost (where you at?) and hit’s her daughter up. Her daugher is told to come to the 19 bus stop…with her sneakers on. So the young girl gets back on her phone and relays the latest happenings. Apparently she was talking to someone with sense and authority who instructs her to get off of the bus. When she leaves the older woman gets into a diatribe with some other people on the bus about how “young kids don’t have no respect today”. As the conversation continues on I notice that all of the people interacting with her are either drinking from a large styrofoam cup or a brown paper bag. Additionally her sister was clearly high.

3)The Jazzy Jeff
On the bus. For some reason it’s crowded on this day and (as they tend to do) the bus driver keeps telling people to move back. For once people actually have moved to the back. As the bus driver continues on she keeps asking people to move back. Some skinny white dude takes the initiative to yell out that “They are at the back Ms. Busdriver. We continue on. Repeat the same thing again. This time though a big black dude behind the skinny white guy says something. In response to this the thug ass looking cat in front of me says, “I’m getting off before something pops off on here.” Then he gets up rings the bell and gets off. At this point I had to turn off the ipod, cause that dude looked like he would beat someone down, so I figured I should pay attention to whatever made him want to get off. So the bus stops, drivers switch and the whole “move to the back - they already are” scenario plays out again. So the second guy says, “you didn’t say that to the other driver”, “yes I did”. So these two have a brief exchange. Up the road we go and skinny white guy gets on his phone. Somewhere in his conversation he says, “I gotta get a car so I won’t have to deal with this, bus is crowded, stupid people.” Jesus Christ Monkey Balls.
Big black guy : Stupid People!?!?!
Skinny white guy: I’m not talking to you or about you.
bbg: Well, you’re a cock sucking whore.
swg: -pause- well, you’re a cock sucking whore.
bbg: smack
swg stands up and squares off.
Mind you when this part of the conversation was going on I had rung the bell and gone to the back door as my stop was coming up.
bbg: You’re gonna get off this bus or take this asswhupping.
swg: I ain’t getting off.
bbg gets up and charges swg as he reaches him the bus has stopped and I open the doors and step off. I turn right around to see swg getting pushed off the bus and the doors get closed behind him. He gets on his phone and runs to the front of the bus. Bang, bang, bang - “Let me back on this bus!!!
Swg (into his phone) I was just assaulted on bus #2891, the 19 Goucher and Taylor Ave. Then he proceeds to stand one inch from the front of the bus so as to prevent it from moving. When I made the turn onto my street a block and a half away he was still standing in front of the bus.

4)My Drunk Friend
For some reason drunk people and people who just like to talk love me (I’m also loved by small children and animals…just so you know ladies). So I’m on the bus stop and this guy stops 15 feet away and asks if the 27 has come…I tell him yes. He walks down further cause he thinks someone else is talking to him only to find it’s a couple arguing with one another. For some reason he pulls up next to me and starts talking…seconds later he pulls the pint out of his bag and finishes it off. At first it was just random nothing that I thought would end. Then that girl came and sat on the bus stop. Dude got excited and almost yelled, “Looook!”, “Look at them thighs man, you need to get that, you know what I’d do to that, you probably gotta better chance at that then me right now cause I’m a little dirty, Look at them thighs!” He talked for 5 minutes about this girl and her thighs. Eventually he told me to go get her. I said that she was all his and he takes off…as he leaves he says, “I’m going to get her for you.” God damn. So he goes and talks to her…gets nowhere and along the course of the conversation I did notice that he pointed to me and referred to me as his brother. Of course nothing comes from it so he comes back to join his good friend, me. Over the course of the 30 mins I was waiting for the bus he pointed, got excited over and called out to about 5 other women. He also went on about how if my bus came first I needed to get my “car” and come back and take him home. He stopped a Marine and held on to his hand for like 15 minutes while he thanked him and told him he was his brother and the pretty woman he was with was his sister. After they left he came back to me and how I had money and we needed to go out. This dude went on and on and on. Then he went on some more about the girl and her thighs. Then he went on some more about how I had money. Then, mercifully, my bus came and I wished him well and stepped to the curb. Too bad the girl with the thighs was getting on the same bus. “SHE GETTING ON YOUR BUS!!!!! YOU BETTER GET THAT, DON’T BE NICE GET THAT NUMBER, LOOK AT THEM THIGHS!” I didn’t get the final count of people that were laughing at this.

5)Sick and Tired
Most often when I see someone on the bus getting into it, it’s a young dude with no responsibility trying to get out on a working class person. The working class person wants to buck back, but they eventually back down after realizing they just got off work and need to get home and see their wife and get up and go to work the next day. If you ever see someone on the news who gets locked up for assault on a bus and the witnesses stick up for him, it’ll be me. Anyway I’m on the bus and this dude puts his arm up on the seat and bumps me by mistake. He apologizes. Later he moves to another seat. Then I see my homegirl and her daughter get on the bus, he gets up and lets them take the seats where he was. I get into a conversation with the little one and am surprised as all get out when I noticed dude not trying to move later on to let someone sit next to him. As a matter of fact he’s sitting in the back row of seats with his legs spread covering the seats next to him and his hand resting in one of them. This older guy is excusing himself to get by, after a while he lets the guy sit down. Right behind this guy is another older dude who tries to sit in the seat money has his hand in. This takes a minute, but the guy gets his seat. I don’t know what happened cause I was talking to the rugrat, but I hear one of the older dudes ask, “Are you alright man.” To which stupid angry guy responds, “YEAH I’M ALRIGHT, I’M LISTENING TO MY MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC, YOU ALRIGHT?” It would seem that dude has a friend on the bus cause he turns around from a few seats up and tells him to chill out. Of course he can’t. “I WANNA KNOW IF IT’S A PROBLEM, I’M LISTENING TO MY MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC, TELL HIM TO CHILL OUT I THINK IT’S A PROBLEM. IT’S A PROBLEM OR WHAT?” I look at this older guy and watch as his mind goes through the progression and he finally swallows his pride and says, “Nah, ain’t no problem.” During this exchange my homegirl has gathered her things gotten up earlier than her stop required to get her out of the way. I was pissed about the whole thing as I’ve witnessed this scenario several times and I can’t stand it. Of course these guys always seem to come off on someone who just isn’t as willing as I am to resort to fisticuffs. If I don’t get a car soon I’ll end up calling one of these loud mouthed dudes out and having an altercation.

“There can be no real individual freedom in the presence of economic insecurity.”
Chester Bowles (1901 - 1986)

So cities grow and change all the time. Mine seems to have been in a state of flux for the last few years. Prices are rising, people are moving, toy dogs are being walked. Despite the various things that I could say about it, what bothers me the most are the changes that I know will affect my clients and those are the changes that affect my memories. The place where a work was the first place in the city to do the dollar house program. Now you probably couldn’t buy a crack house for a dollar. Considering that I work with people in low income brackets (this isn’t the exact same as what I deal with…but it’s close enough). It’s amazing to me that the houses on the other side of the fence in the picture above go for over $400K. Especially considering what’s on the other side. Everyplace I look in the city there’s more change.

Even on the “street” level things have changed. Prices still go up though. Even if the Daily Show points out that Bmore is a killing field. I realized today the perfect way to stop the drug problem in Baltimore, move all the users out into the county. Some of the changes I enjoy. Others make me nervous. I think thoughts like “I should have bought that house”. Now that’s it’s become a national issue I can’t believe the whole “Stop Snitching” thing orginated from a dumb as DVD from here. Some of us have a different motto. The times have changed and the crimes have changed. White flight has turned to suburban flight. We saw this coming when the people from Murphy homes got relocated out into the county. So with homes that almost cost a half a million dollars 20 feet to my left if an entire family makes what I make in a year, I can’t help them unless they are 7 deep. Did I mention I ride the bus? I wonder how that family gets around. Actually I know, but if I document it I might cause someone problems. Meanwhile we ask what’s wrong with our children. Could it be the apathy is seeping down to them? That’s trickle down economics for you.

Conservative eh? That’s like Gun control means hitting your target. Even the people who can afford those homes are paying for choices they didn’t make…unless they voted for Bush. For those who did, congratulations you put your grandchildren into debt. Meanwhile the kids on the other side of that fence are taking care of their money in other ways. While you’re reading this I’m probably on the phone trying to find out why some of these kids aren’t bothering to come to class.

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.”
Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

The fact that I just bought a new camera along with the fact that I have various episodes brings you this post today. So we’re aware that I’ve moved. My roommate has a cat. The cat is named Honey. The cat has seperation issues. I like to call it “Attention whore”. This cat can not be escaped. You can run or surrender, eventually it will find you and force you to succumb to it’s whims. See, I don’t understand what the issue is, however, this cat loves when you pet it. Of course cats enjoy that, but most of them tend to let you stroke them and then they move on. This cat does not. This cat presents the areas it would prefer for you to rub. It rolls over so you can get both sides. It grabs your wrist with it’s paws and forcefully puts it’s head under your hand. If you get up and try to walk it away it follows you and when you stop it lays down in front of you like so:

This is all new to me. In my experience most cats want you to leave them alone most of the time. It doesn’t stop there though. Beyond following me and heading me off, when I get in front it bats at my ankles. I swear this cat is trying to make me subservient to it. It doesn’t stop there. I have to shut it out of my room so it won’t take over my bed. If I go to the bathroom and don’t close the door all the way it comes on in. When I do close the door all the way I get this:

It’s almost like a zombie movie. One day I think it may jump on my back and and start chewing on my head. The cat is in control. I don’t know what will happen, but if I should just stop posting consider yourself advised. Additionally, nothing is more creepy than going to the bathroom at 3:00 a.m. and suddenly feeling something furry against your leg. I can’t remember what movie it was that the cat tripped the woman at the top of the stairs…but I walk very slowly, one step at a time.

“…Freedom isn’t free
No there’s a hefty fuckin’ fee
And if you don’t throw in your buck ‘o five
Who will?”
Trey Parker

That’s right bitches…it’s time to ante up for freedom in here! Apparently now G-G-G-G-G-G G DUBBS is starting to think benchmarks might be a good idea. I know what’s going on. They mention the GOP telling Bush to get it in gear cause Iraq is looking like a clusterfuck (BTW I love that word). That didn’t do it though. Cheney is out of the country! Can’t you see! Someone else got to Dubby while Dick was gone and he started to soften up. I’d just like to say, I love how the people who say Iraq is safe and so forth are always shown in pictures like this:

Can’t be but so good. The first article also mentions how the Iraqi parliment wants to take a two month vacation. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your damn country is in the middle of a war and you…the movers and shakers and decision makers are going to go on vacation! “Good people, remain calm, keep your head low and we’ll be back…we’ll bring you some t-shirts too.”

Please tell me you all saw the Mickey “Jihad” Mouse clip. Farfur you’re so crazy.

Then to top everything off Blair is out. See that America, you can get rid of these guys…they don’t have to stay in office. He was even a good public speaker.

My man Luke Cage put me down with The Ground Truth and I watched that joint (courtesy of DVR) the other night. Watch that. With all the “Support the Troops” rhetoric that flies around it’s good to see something where the troops talk about how they hate the war, they aren’t supported by the Government and even the branches of military they were in. Plus most people don’t take kindly to killing civilians and kids. Messes with their heads a little. Additionally I’ve never been a fan of how…well just about every type of insurances jerks you around forever, but a good rule is: When people go to war, you assist them upon their return without a lot of questions or waiting periods. That’s just good policy.

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

So while I planned to spend alot of time in nothing but my boxers drinking coffee and calling friends while they were at work…I had some interesting events unfold during my vacation. One long one and one that was really an interlude. I will detail them as such.

Saturday, April 28th: 1st day off
So I go to see the fam and they inform me that my cousin (19 year old female) has been missing since that tuesday, she vanished and the basement door was left open. Her mother indicates that she has been seeing a young man who is a drug addict, was put out by his parents and is a general ne’er do well. Since I know some people who know some people I make it my personal mission to track them down, beat his ass and drag her home (at least so she can be confronted). I leave and proceed to get info.

Thursday, May 3: 6th day off
I go to see Meshell Ndegeocello at the 9:30 club. W. Ellington Felton opened up and did a long set. Despite me having dug him in the past on the open mic tip, I didn’t feel the show that much. He also brought Raheem DeVaughn out (That nigga tried to holla at my date! Well it was 4 years ago, but I knew him and he knew me! How you gonna roll up while D.Chase was talking to me?!?!). Anyway…so it takes like an hour or more for her to come out and in that time the D.J. spins. When she stayed on the house music for a while that was when I noticed that heterosexuals (us) were the minority. I don’t have a problem being in a crowd of gay folks…my problem was these cats were exhibitionists. Like: “Could you not make out so hard, you’re elbowing me” types. This one girl had her asscrack on my arm for 10 minutes! I would have thought it was extreme flirting if her girl friend hadn’t been grinding on her so hard. Plus she bent over twice; once to take off her shoes and once to put them back on…did not help the situation. I ended up in a horse stance with my elbows spread to keep people off me. That’s the thanks I got for not going mosh pit when the Dj played Nirvana songs. So Ndegeocello comes out and then does a reaaaaaaaaal short set. They get her to come out again and she picks up the bass and they rock out some more, then she leaves two minutes later. I took the hint, but the rest of the crowd was waiting for her to come back out…dummies. So alot of people left pissed…my roommate cause she’s short and people kept block her view ( a reason I don’t let people at shows slide in past and get infront of me. I was just glad to get that girls ass crack away from me. I can’t believe I didn’t research the crowd first!

Saturday May 5th: 8th day off
So the fam calls and says that there will be a gathering on saturday…I say I’ll come without asking what it’s about. My grandmother does let me know she talked to my cousin, my cousin got married and the dude is not a junkie. O.K. So around 11:00 on saturday I realize this party is for the newlyweds. What I also find out is…alot:
1) My aunt has told my cousin she is no longer part of the family.
2) My family had the party sans my aunt to say, “she tripping yeah you’re still part of the family”.
3) Dude was not put out by his parents; his father and brother died and he and his mother live together (I did not mean to say with…but that’s coming up).
4) Dude did a tour in Iraq.
5) Dude may smoke some weed, but he’s not even a weedhead.
6) He plays video games professionally.
7) He and his mom got money from the death of the father and brother and went half on a $500, 000 home (that me and my same age cousin went to and that shit is niiiiiice, that cat’s liquor cabinet is stacked with quality drinks!).
8) He is actually real cool and intelligent (glad I didn’t find him and beat his ass first).
9) My aunt has her kids in the house on some What’s Eating Gilbert Grape shit - and she’s a large woman. I guess my cousin saw her out and took it.
10) While getting married at 19 may not be the move…if dude had a sister I would move my ass in with her…that house is nice as hell.
11) While my mothers generation of this family doesn’t really drink, mine sure does.
12) I used to think one of my other aunts was wild…I realized she’s just willing to wild out and then come back to earth. It’s the mother of this cousin who is really the wild one, when I think back on the past I should have known.

All this and I didn’t even see Spiderman 3 yet, nor did I find a woman to let me lay on her bosom whilst she rubbed my hair…dammit. C’est la vie, nothing ever goes according to plan.