Amadeo Sogni

“When I look on you a moment, then I can speak no more,
but my tongue falls silent and at once a delicate flame
courses beneath my skin, and with my eyes I see nothing,
and my ears hum and a wet sweat bathes me and a
trembling seizes me all over.”
Sappho

So I think I’m sweet on someone. Yeah. This is the good time. If you’re sweet on somebody try to savor those moments. Which ever way they head later on, that moment is it’s own thing. Good or bad later on can’t change what that moment is. Roll it around in your mouth for a while. Me and my glass of white are going to contemplate this for a moment. Here’s the first verse of something I wrote for times like this.

If I paint a picture write a scripture you can understand
Package it with pretty things put it in your hand
That’s just a small example a sample more than ample
Enough to handle grasp caress place on the mantle
It’s an exhibit of something truly exquisite
Our hearts can revisit one hundred times in a minute
It’ll never diminish falter or find a finish
Exist in descendants thereby becoming endless
It’d live above dreams right past imagination
It’d breath aspiration and breed fascination
This is a seed that grows all possibilities
When confusion reigns it’s fulfilling peace
For hard lives it’s healing power seeps where scars hide
From this moment now until the stars die
It’s a spark through the dark like a signal flare
It’s a post card to your heart that says I wish I was there

I forgot to mention that I was on vacation this week. It’s hard to leave you guys hanging…but you’ll have to kick it with Fez for today.

Fez Sez:
“I’m just a reflection of you!”

“I love Rock and Roll, put another dime in the Jukebox baby!”
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

I have professed my love for Rock n’ Roll before on this blog. In addition I have gone over the fact that Chuck Berry and Jimi Hendrix are the easiest reasons why people should never call it “White” music. So I now present some of my favorite songs in the genre.
*Disclaimer, don’t bash me and ask how come I didn’t put on a certain song…this list is really infinite and no one wants to read all that.

“Castles made of Sand” Jimi Hendrix
This is a good song and a great message, while the majority of the songs seems to be from a negative standpoint and have people losing out, the last verse flips it around. It’s like saying what’s reality will always win out, good or bad. (I wanted to keep it to one but I gotta mention “Angel”)
“And so castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually…”

“Mouth” Bush
This song speaks to something I’ve known all my life, a womans tongue can be the sharpest sword. Something many men have come to learn and even studies on child behavior confirm. Boys hit each other, girls strike for the heart without even yelling.
“All your mental armor drags me down/we can’t breathe when you come around/all your mental armor drags me down/nothing hurts like your mouth”

“Welcome to the Jungle” Guns and Roses
This is one of the best It’s-crazy-around-here-so-watch-your-back-songs. I love it in GTA: San Andreas, however, the best placement of this song has to be in “Lean on Me”, Fair Eastside had some issues and you knew it as soon as you heard this song in the beginning. Pretty good description of any hood. (gotta mention November Rain)
“If you got a hunger for what you see/You’ll take it eventually/You can have anything you want/But you better not take it from me”

“Fortunate Son” Creedance Clearwater Revival
This song has been misused as some sort of patriotic anthem when it’s nothing close. It talks about how all those patriotic people are usually “privledged”. Most of us can identify with this song. I know I have a great mother, but in the sense of this song, “I ain’t no fortunate son”.
“It ain’t me, it ain’t me/I ain’t no senator’s son/It ain’t me, it ain’t me/I ain’t no fortunate one”

“Summer” Alien Ant Farm
Great song about not being able to work it out. You messed up and despite your good intentions it’s over.
“Tried to give you summer, but I’m winter/Wish I could make you spring, but I fall so hard”

“Under the Bridge” Red Hot Chili Peppers
This song is the one that even the people who called Rock music “white people music” liked this song. This was the one that people in the hood knew about. I’d be surprised if anyone that reads this has not heard this song.
“I don’t ever want to feeeeeel, like I did that day/Take me to the place I looooooove, take me all the way”

“The Warmth” Incubus
This is the “there-are-bright-spots-song” I’ll let it speak for itself…
“So don’t let the world bring you down/Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold/Remember why you came and while you’re alive/Experience the warmth before you grow old.”

“Bullet with Butterfly Wings” Smashing Pumpkins
It was hard for me not to put Disarm on here, but this song has one of my favorite titles. It describes quite well what this song is all about. This is a song I speed to, this joint I want to mosh to. If my life is a movie, when this comes up in the soundtrack I’ll be breaking things…then I’ll break down.
“Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved/Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage”
“Whatsername” Greenday
I am a sucker for ballads and songs that put me in a certain moment or state of mind. I have found myself thinking about an old flame and wondering what was going on with them at the moment. This song takes me there.
“I made a point to burn all of the photographs/She went away and then I took a different path/I remember the face, but I can’t recall the name/Now I wonder how whatsername has been”

“Jeremy” Pearl Jam
I always credit this song with documenting Columbine before it happened. This is a good example of how elders don’t listen to what youth are saying until something happens. This was the warning.
“Clearly I remember pickin’ on the boy/Seemed a harmless little fuck/Ooh, but we unleashed a lion…”

“Dream On” Aerosmith
As I tell my clients no that’s not “Eminem’s song” he sampled a great band. While Aerosmith has a lot of good songs (Sweet Emotions, Love in an Elevator, Janie’s got a Gun, etc.), but this one was always one of my favorites (besides Walk this Way for obvious reasons).
“Sing with me, sing for the year/ Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears /Sing with me, if it’s just for today /Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away”

“Iron Man” Black Sabbath
How could I forget Ozzy. This is a sick story…I love it. A hero sacrifices himself for humanity, is subsequently ignored and then…well peep it…
“Now the time is here for ironman to spread fear/Vengeance from the grave kills the people he once saved”

“We will Rock You” Queen
Though people look at me funny when I say I’m listening to Queen, or ask what “she” sings…everyone one knows at least the beat and chorus to this song. Used in a million stadiums and by me at open mics without bands. This in the top 10 list of “That was a great idea!” for simple yet killer songs. Stomp, Stomp, Clap. (many great songs, but I love to mention “Fat Bottomed Girls”)
“You got mud on yo’ face/You big disgrace/Kickin’ your can all over the place”

What’s a song that has to be on your list?

What I’m about to do may be cruddy…but the hell with it. Let me give you some background:

Once as I was sitting in Starbucks talking to my man Levar I was introduced to a gentleman that I will not soon forget. I won’t put his name here, but we call him Fez. It should go without saying that he wears a Fez everyday. A Fez that he coordinates with his outfits. This wouldn’t mean as much…it’s just that fact that he attends and speaks at several spiritual retreats (we’ll be having a festival of his greatest hits soon) and asks just about every woman he comes across out on a date (Cheesecake Factory). Then to top it all off some of the things he says are pure entertainment. So for your entertainment I present the first in a series….Fez Sez. (Fez Sez are actual quotes from Fez and not exaggerated in any way).

Fez Sez:
“I’m ready to knock some ovaries out of place.”

“The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.”
Hasidic Saying

So you got in the door and you’re seated at the table…now you need to know what the hell do you want. I have not thrown you to the wolves. I guess if I can share some knowledge then I should. So I took you guys through meeting and courting, but that was easy. This is the harder part. Presenting yourself.

My man Aswad() once said that what you want is to choose the person who’s choosing you. But who do you want to choose? Like attracts like and all you can control is you and your choice.

Posture:

I am the prize.
Yeah I said it, not to be egostistical or anything. This is the way I think when I’m dealing with a woman. I know my worth and therefore what I can’t accept in exchange for it. Naturally, being the prize, I want someone who is a prize themselves. When you win the Superbowl, you don’t compare yourself to the cats with the first draft pick do you? I think not.

Show me:
I always see these articles, posts and so on and so forth about what a woman wants in a man. A list of the things he needs to have to be with her. Gentleman, you need a list of your own. I always think of Mahogany: “She said she’d have my kids and help me make my next G…”. I’m quick to say all I can give you is me…but we can build something together.

I will never Lie (No Immature):
Never lie. I mean ever. If your game is strong you never have to. If you want things a certain way, put it down and see if she can pick it up. If she ain’t with it then she’s not the one you want. I mean just playing the odds, if you walked up to every woman you were attracted to and told them you wanted to get them alone with Saran wrap, a bow tie, honey, a python, a video camera and 5 candles…eventually one of them would be interested. Not that I get down like that. I’m just saying if you know what you want and present it, someone will be in the same place that you are. Lying to get what you want only causes problems later. You don’t need that drama.

Couth:

Ain’t my type of hype (ohhh-o- ohhhh-o):
Hype - your just the type of propaganda in the land of supply and demand a…pardon me. Theory is this: if you’d regret getting a particular woman pregnant because of who she is, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER. Quality over quantity my friends. Despite the fact that it’s treated like a recreational activity, the purpose of sex is procreation. Keep that in mind. Besides, this minimizes potential drama with a woman anyway. Consider the traits of a bad mother, at their base are traits that make bad girlfriends, wives and even flings…don’t get your pet rabbit boiled.

Just Say No:
Look, I know you’re horny and I know that girl may be interested, but don’t do it (remember - you had to eliminate your desire?). I mean for real. Who wants something that everyone’s had? By that I meant you. Make sure she’s worth it (and not in a if-it’s-free-it’s-me kinda way) Plus I recommend that every man either pass up or turn down sex at some point in their life. It builds character. By the way, I don’t just mean, “Oh she didn’t look that good so I passed it up.” I mean yeah she looks good, but I still didn’t do it. People will probably never believe you…women especially. Despite the hatred that prevails in regards to dog-like behavior, not fulfilling that role will really mess with peoples minds. If you do this be prepared to be insulted, have your manhood challenged and a few other bad things. Principle here is this: when a woman says no men are taught that no matter what’s going on you stop…so if a woman can’t respect you saying no, you should be looking at the front door.

Silent Bob and that Gay Dude were right:
Even if you are a Sexual God there are certain things you can’t forget. Unless a woman was raised on a desert island by Amazon women, she’s probably not a virgin. In fact she’s probably done something (or someone or everything) that may bother you. At least it will if you go in with the wrong idea. When I’m with a woman this is a mantra that I say to myself: She’s had smarter guys with bigger dicks, more money, a better place, a better car, who were in better shape had more education and spoke more languages…but she’s with me. It’s one thing to know you’re the prize, it’s another to think you are automatically the end all, be all of her world. That’s something you put in work for.

Action:

I Believe:
I don’t care what you are doing, two things will get you through it all, confidence and the ability to laugh at yourself. I dance at anything you can dance at. I’m not the best dancer, but the confidence with which I step out onto the floor makes it hard to fade me. I will start dancing when no one else is…and people will follow me. Then on the other end if I’m doing something and I mess up in some way I’ll laugh louder than anyone else. It’s impossible to embarrass someone who’s already laughing at themselves.

Freeze Vodka:
That cool. Now despite how cool I know I am (yeah I said it, what you wanna do? Ain’t nothing but space and opportunity between us), when I say cool I really mean composed. When things fall apart, you stay together. Flipping out over anything isn’t really good. I have learned that you do have to make exceptions for positive things in regards to women sometimes. It makes people feel better to see your happiness and know you’re with them. People don’t always like the calm person in a crisis during a crisis, but they remember who kept their head later on. Most importantly is coming across ex-boyfriends, male friends, fathers and so forth. Don’t let anyone shake you. Additionally, don’t exaggerate yourself to show that you’re confident…it proves you arent’.

See Everything:
If you can become omnipotent, well than you shouldn’t need my advice - matter of fact call me and give me some. Too bad you can’t, butwhat you can do is pay attention. For instance: one fine, broke sunday me and my girl were walking around this little festival-ish thing in Charles Village and this dude who owns a shop is selling jewlery. She remarks on something. I grunt as if to say, “it’s not football, I don’t really care”. We keep moving, I dip off later drop some cash on it and come back in a couple weeks to pay it off. It was all smiles when that gift was given. I’ve done that same thing over a greater period of time. Those gifts do two things: 1) They please the person cause it is something they wanted. 2) They help that person realize that the things they say matter to you. You’re not at the gift giving point yet, but this comes in even handier during the inital period.

“He says he’s jealous of the moon, because you look at it. He’s jealous of the sun, because it warms you. He says, I feel you, even when I’m not feeling you. I talk to you when I’m not talking to you. I love you, even when I’m not loving you.”
Jeffery Wright as Jean-Michel Basquiat

So 1969 had a post about the death of Romance and I was having a conversation about basically the same thing so now I come to enlighten.
Take heed! Gather around me all ye lames! I will now teach you how to properly begin relations with a fine young woman. Ladies I recommend that if you are wise you’ll do this same thing with some of your sistren…some of ya’ll need some help as well. Now bear in mind this is a basic guide, an outline if you will. I’m just giving you talking points, you have to make the speech.

First some rules from a movie I dug. I had the main idea, but the writer summed it up with the loveliness. When you meet a woman this is what you need to do.

Philosophy

Eliminate your Desire: Women can smell the stench of your horniness a mile away. Tone that shit down. I have a theory. I call it: The Pretty Girl Theory - When you walk into a place and there’s a fine woman, dudes gather around like she was picking a basketball team. More than likely she’ll be more interested in the dude that’s sitting across the room not paying her any mind. Cool down.

Demonstrate your Greatness: I mean really why the hell should she want to get with you anyway. Your mother thinks your special, but she kind of has to. Get up off your ass and do something, let her witness it. Like killing a sabretooth tiger so she knows you can protect the cave…dig?

Retreat: You’ve done all you can do…don’t ruin it by chasing her down and calling her like you’re trying to get through to a radio station. Chill the hell out! If you did your thing she’ll come to you. That’s what you want. Consider it a gift: you want someone to give it to you, instead of trying to find a way to take it.

Practical Applications:

First Date: You want to make a showing, however, this is not demonstrate your tax bracket time. This is show your quality (Demonstrate your greatness) time. Take her out to eat, but not to the Cheesecake Factory or Red Lobster or someother place you could find near a mall. Go somewhere that’s low key, quality and hopefully addresses any dietary preferences she has. It should be a place that will make her wonder why she didn’t know about it. If she does know about it you’ll still get points…unless she had a bad experience. Then you’ll give her the chance to put you down with something. This date is about breaking the ice. After you eat go somewhere beautiful…somewhere with a view. This can be a place plenty people know about, but somewhere that will allow her to find out who you are with minimal distraction…if you’re in Baltimore this is somewhere like Federal Hill. If all goes well you may be out late, but try to get her home by 11:00…even if she invites you don’t go in. Leave some mystery until next time.

Second Date: Personally I keep (and update - places close y’know) a list of small mom and pop type restaurants with nice ambience, food, etc. So this time go to a place that could serve as more formal…I tend to avoid alot of formality on the first date for my benefit. Gives you an idea of her personality and if it all goes to hell you didn’t waste alot of money and get gussied up for nothing. More importantly people tend to send representatives on firsts. A relaxed atmosphere will bring out the real person more than a formal spot. Keep in mind you need to size up your date before you go casual. This time you can let it stretch out some more. Hopefully you made an impression and she wants to know some more about you. Throw in some kind of activity. This way you’ll have a chance to talk, but you can do something fun. It’ll let her know Jack isn’t a dull boy.

Third Date: This let’s you know you’re pretty much there. I tend to make this the most personal of all the dates. This is a good time (for those that can) to invite her over so you can cook a meal. If you can cook then you should do so in front of her. If you go somewhere make it a place that is nice and private. I have two such places myself. One is an arboretum and the other is a Water Reserve. These are both places that most people who live in the city have never seen. It’s tantamount to finding the garden of Eden in the middle of an Iraqi insurgency. Both are the type of places that despite how nice they are, there are never alot of people there and you can always find a private spot. Of course you have to have some back up in case the weather doesn’t permit you to be outside…or it’s the middle of winter. Don’t be scared to do something that seems elementary school…like go to the Aquarium or the Science Center. Where you go isn’t just a reflection on you. It’s a chance for you to find out about her and for her to drop her guard.

Some tips:
Eliminating your desire means that you don’t try for the kiss all early. I did this to perfection once; leaving a woman wondering if I would ever try to kiss her and when I did the floodgate opened…if you catch my drift. However, if you wait for the right amount of time you avoid any akwardness and increase her curiosity and desire…don’t wait too long though or it’s: THE FRIEND ZONE.

Do not give roses! Roses are played man. Alot of women still like them, it’s true, but I figure if I can get roses at 7 -11 then I need to find a new flower.

Eliminating your desire does not mean you cease all flirting. It’s like conning someone. I remember the speech from Ocean’s Eleven:
“You look down, they know you’re lying and up, they know you don’t know the truth. Don’t use seven words when four will do. Don’t shift your weight, look always at your mark but don’t stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don’t make him laugh. He’s got to like you then forget you the moment you’ve left his side.”
That’s what you’re flirting should be, nothing pressing. Say enough to make her smile before you move on. A pause she can follow up on if she chooses, but treat it like you’re on the radio…no dead air.

Pay attention! This whole process is not just to find a girlfriend or get some ass. You need to know if this woman is crazy. Listen to what she says and try to get a picture of who she is. You may find out you don’t want to see her…sleeping with a crazy woman is a mistake, make it at your own peril.

Balance yourself. If you have more than one side make sure you at least give glimpses of them. People usually don’t know each other…make sure she knows who you are.

Things I shouldn’t have to say…but will cause people do this:

Restrict your calling! Nothing is worse than a dude (or dame) that calls too much. If you call and leave a message then let her call you back. She either can’t call at the time or doesn’t want to talk to you. If she wants to talk she will call…let her.

Everytime you use a line Baby Jesus cries.

Do not bring up marriage, kids, or love (unless you’re giving an abstract definition or reciting the lyrics to “Love’s Gonna Get Cha” by BDP) within the first two weeks of interaction…at least. If she is ready to discuss marriage that soon she’s crazy and her clock may be ticking. If you discuss it then you will drive her away cause she thinks you’re crazy.

I know I covered this - Don’t start saying you think you are in love with her. For real…I’ll slap you.

Don’t do things you can’t keep up with. If you open every door and pull out every chair, be prepared to keep doing it for the duration of your interaction. Eliminate the Representative. You need to be you so you never have to hear how you changed.

Make your word your bond. If you say a time, be there. If you say you’ll call, do it. Represent what you say and don’t say what you can’t represent.

Do not go on and on about something you think is interesting that probably isn’t. Allow her to talk more. Ask question…and for God’s sake don’t ask stupid questions. Nobody wants to hear about how your boss hates you or how you fixed the copier when no one else could. Self deprecation works! It dissolves arrogance and allows you to talk about yourself without boring someone to tears.

So I’ve tried to help. Besides when you cat’s screw the pooch it makes dudes like me have to work harder down the line. Ladies I’d love to hear your thoughts.

“I don’t think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.”
Lillian Carter

Now, lets take some time to look at the steps that have brought the Anhedonic cat you’ve all grown to know and love (or just laugh at) to where he is in his life. While I do think things through, it’s because of experience and wisdom more than knowledge. Let’s just say having blisters all over the palm of my hand is the way I learned the iron gets hot. So now let us take a stroll through recollection and see some of the things that has shaped me into the twisted individual I am.

1 year +: When we lived in an apartment in Texas I once knocked out the screen in the window and climbed outside. Me and my trusty Dukes of Hazzard car were going for a walk. This is actually one of my first memories. So after a brisk jaunt through the complex I went home. The problem being that all those doors looked alike and I didn’t know numbers and letters. So I picked up a newspaper wrapped in plastic inserted my car into it and started banging on a door Eventually my mother picked my up from behind and whisked me home. Ahh…exploration.

2 years +: In the middle of our apartment complex there was a nice sized swimming pool. One day as I walked my mother to do the wash. I made up my mind to impress her with my swimming ability. With a quick shout of “Look Ma!” I made a beeline for the pool and jumped in the deep end. Of course I had never swam in my life. Thankfully my mother was a champion swimmer in the Airforce. This was also when I learned that your mother shouting the word “Boy” can function as cursing.

4 years: After moving to Bmore My family quickly learned that I was an unusual child. For one thing I was very literal. Telling me to do things like, “Throw this glass in the sink” resulted in alot of broken glasses and a policy change in how I was given instructions. This might be the reason my grandmother still details every step of what she is asking me to do even though I’m an adult. I also used to run with my head down until I hit the porch doors so maybe she thinks I rattled something.

5 - 6 years: Most of the fights in my life have been with people larger than myself (Bully issuess). Well one time I was saved from fighting. There was some teenager (asshole) who thought it was funny to stick his air rifle in the ground and shoot a clod of dirt in my face. I did not see the humor. I didn’t consider that this kid was almost twice my size I was just mad. So He promptly got a punch into the best place I could reach. No not the nuts, but the place I find most fun. The diaphragm. Luckily my aunt realized that it was best to pull me on in the house while dude stood there trying to get his breath.

9 - 10 years: I have mentioned this before, but…look I really used to like the movie “A Christmas Story” and during that time we had an old refrigerator with coils at the top. One morning as the movie was on before I had to leave for school, I happened to be looking in the fridge and I got to wonder…you know the pole scene and all. Well lets just say I sounded just like that kid as I called for help (except for the crying and screaming) I was saved and my mother made me go to school anyway. For the record I was not really thinking, it was an impulse…shut up.

21 years: This is a big forward, but it’s a good illustration. One fine payday I walk to this club spot that has been many things but was at this time (and still is today) called Gordon’s. Someone I know was having something and I had no plans so I went. The event was o.k. but I really wasn’t in the mood and there weren’t that many people. So I end up chilling at the bar and kickin it with the two female bartenders. So I’m ordering drinks and I realize I should have something different. So I started asking them to suggest things. Since most of the people were upstairs I was able to hold their attention and they started getting into it. They would suggest I would give a thumbs down or try the suggestion. Before anyone thinks that I was getting suckered by the cute bartender, I paid for about $30 in drinks that night, I easily drank $60 or more worth of booze. The bartenders really got into it and started thinking up drinks to see if I had tasted them before. They even made up a drink and named it after me. Don’t ask me what was in it. As I stumbled my ass home I knew it was a bad idea…but it sure was fun.

I can’t help this one so all non-geeks bear with me and we will return to our regularly scheduled gripes, complaints and ideas. The purchase of the movie and the fact the Skip Bayless on Cold Pizza disagrees (and the fact that I don’t like him lately) make this necessary.

Alien vs. Predator

I keep hearing this debate and everytime I usually hear people say the Predator would win. So that my soul can rest easy I will detail why the Aliens would win. [For format sake I’ll use the arguments that the wrong losers have given - Snide comments in Italics]

1) The Predator can turn himself invisible. So the hell what.

The aliens naturally camoflage themselves. In all the Alien movies is a scene where one of the creatures grabs someone from a space in the wall where it’s been sitting the whole time. If the aliens have been in a place for an amount of time their secretions make the environment more viable to do this in. The added bonus is that the Aliens are more animalistic and use all of their senses so even if it can’t see it (presumably) can smell.

2) The Predator has all types of lasers and weapons. Sissies.

The Predator does have alot of weapons but they are all things that are created and can be taken or even just dropped and lost. The Alien is a weapon. Claws, teeth (along with a second extendable jaw), a tail (which is basically a muscle) that equates to a spear and acid for blood. Include the fact that they know their blood can burn through things and either purposefully or by accident you still have a problem. We must also consider that with all weapons the individuals skill level may vary where as with animals they all possess a basic level of knowledge of how to use, basically their body which happens to be a weapon.

3) The Predator has a nuclear bomb. He’s punking out.

That’s right. He’s committing suicide. It only constitutes forcing a draw. He cannot win in this instance. His goal is to hunt a creature kill it and take a trophy without that he has lost. The Aliens goal is to keep the species alive. All they do is breed. They only even kill when under threat, otherwise their target becomes a host for the next Alien. So while you may stop a particular group with such an act you would only stop the species if you blew up every place where they exist.

Basic theory:

All of the advantages that a predator may have are technological and can be taken away from him. All of the advantages that an Alien has are natural. An Alien also gains advantages from the particular creature it gestates inside of (in Alien3 the creature had doglike qualities because the egg was laid in a dog, in AvP the “infant” Alien had the qualities of a Predator.) Aliens while seemingly animal are intelligent and learn very quickly. This is a species that with a Queen and a drone can increase their numbers to that of any force aligned against them or any living beings around them, simultaneously removing threats to themselves. Predators themselves believe the Alien is the ultimate predatory creature and use them to weed the worthy from the unworthy amongst themselves. This acknowledges that the Predator understands dealing with the Alien is a definite challenge. We’ve already seen Predators fall to a soldier and a cop. Where as the people in Alien movies only survived. No one in an Alien movie defeats the Aliens, they escape them. The Aliens are a swarming sea of evolution. The shark of outer space. The perfect Predator.

I’m on to these cat’s now. That’s right I know the game. So I have devised a game of my own. The name: What are They Hiding? See everytime a story that doesn’t really affect our lives takes prominence in the news, I’ve noticed there’s usually something more important going on that doesn’t get the coverage is should. So we all know that Paris Hilton got dragged crying back to jail. While that made the sun shine a little brighter, it wasn’t the real news of the week. So now it’s time to guess which news story was glossed over in favor of shots of her crying in the car (She gon’ cry in the car - No Chris Tucker). So let’s play the game.

Is the answer:

A: 199 people dying in Iraq in the first week of June.

B:Scooter Libby getting sentenced.

C:Putin telling Bush, “Get that shit outta here.”

D:Doesn’t matter cause Paris is in jail so that makes everything right with the world.

The winner with the correct answer gets…screwed, but so do the rest of us. You actually only get th privledge of saying you knew all along.

I’m trying to get some more attention, so on June 11 Un-Mute.com is coming online and I need all of you to make the other writers feel like red headed step-children who dropped out, while I graduated with honors and remain welcome at home on holidays.