“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.”
King Whitney Jr.

So in the middle of my work day on friday, I went to an interview for another job. Funny thing is I probably needed to be looking around, but this one basically walked right up to me. Money wise it might be a negligible percentage less and when I say percentage it may be 1 - 3% less - but that’s what negotiations are for. Everything else is a total upgrade. They are taking the one person control factor out and giving creative control to the staff as a whole - thus negating something that has been the most visible issue in every youth oriented program I’ve worked for. They have their own building and don’t have to trip over other programs. Another bonus: There are several guys there. This means that if something happens that I won’t be one of two people who can step in. It also means I won’t be one of two people who can perform manual labor type tasks. They are trying to use their creativity to build a program and not just trying to satisfy some numbers. I realized that there are three places I’ve been longer than this job: My momma’s house, elementary school and Baltimore City. I’ve only been in the world of work for about 11 years. More than half of that has been here. I haven’t even managed to stay with a woman for more than 6 months! I didn’t have a car for as long as I’ve worked here. The only other steady commitment I’ve had in that time is to Sprint. Even if they wouldn’t bump me up the measley percentage, I don’t really care anymore. It’s like I’m in a war and people are doubting the strategy, have no faith in the general and even the platoon leaders are giving up hope. I still want to fight and I believe in the cause, but I at least need to be sent to another unit. My ideas don’t matter as much anymore. Everything we can come up with has to be approved before we can implement it. Meanwhile I sat in this interview on friday and the guy had to remember where he was in the interview because we kept getting off track…and off track was still about the vision of a program and the situations of young people. This job used to be that at one time. Not anymore. It’s hard to convince the young people to be optimistic when you can’t be. Even when you can help them find a vision for their lives, you have something in the back of your mind telling you that you’ll have hindrances in the way you would help them get there. That’s not McDonalds. I gotta do my thing. Like I tell the young people, “You can’t stagnate, you gotta move forward.” If things work out, I will.