“The unforgivable crime is soft hitting. Do not hit at all if it can be avoided; but never hit softly.”
Theodore Roosevelt

So certain things in my life lead me to consider other things. Since I’ve been seen about with the Vixen, believe it or not, I’ve been thinking about fighting. Some of the ladies may (I said may) not understand this, but dudes know what comes along with being out in public with a beautiful woman…especially when there’s plenty of ignorant dudes around. Me and my man (who’s married) had this discussion the other day. We said it’s a struggle between being an intelligent, articulate man who has common sense and the urge to slam some ignoramus into a table for violating. Now I’m not the type that has ever started a fight, but I do have bully issues so I can’t take people crossing certain lines. As a matter of fact most of the fights I’ve been in throughout my life were me vs. a bigger dude who wanted to mess with me and thought I would back down…NO. So anyway, for all you intelligent articulate dudes who go out and about with lovely ladies here are some tips.

1) Too Careful: You’re walking down the street. Some random dudes are hanging about and they may or may not be trouble do you:
a) walk around them
b) cross the street
c) pretend you’re crazy
d) walk through them like you’re “Muhammad I’m hard Bruce Lee” (no BrickTop)

D is the answer…I treat people like animals in the sense that they can smell and will pounce on fear. I have had people comment as they passed by, say things from a distance, etc. I have never had a problem walking through a group of cats. The Psychology is those who are afraid will avoid. Even if you’re dealing with someone who isn’t just a knuckle head, he’ll think twice about stepping to the dude who walks close.

2) No More Words: Yelling back and forth about what will happen is a bad look. I never understood it. So before you find yourself in a contest of words make up your mind as to how much you really want to say. After that just hit somebody. Nothing is better than popping someone in the middle of telling you how bad they’ll hurt you. Plus alot of cats really want you to back down and can’t handle when you step up…so stepping up for real is usually the last thing they expect.

3) Commit: You are a grown ass man. Realize a few things, this ain’t a movie or a sparring match. Blocking and ducking looks cool on screen, but I have rarely seen it happen in a street fight. Act like dude is trying to kill you and end it as soon as possible. Showing off, underestimating and drawing things out are all bad.

4) Target: In the spirit of ending the entire conversation, here are some places to focus on when you throw hands.
a) Diaphragm: Sometimes called the Solar Plexus, if you hit someone here they will have problems breathing. This is an end the entire conversation type of move. I’ve only really done this to someone once…but that dude had tears coming out of his eyes…so I’m pretty sure it doesn’t feel too good.
b) Throat: Same as the Diaphragm, can’ts can’t breathe and not being able to breathe makes them nervous…and when you can’t breathe it’s pretty hard to fight someone.
c) Testicles: It may be cruddy, but hell I didn’t start the beef I just want it to end quickly.
d) Kneecaps: No matter how many Kung Fu movies people have seen, they never seem to be ready for you to kick them. I recommend faking a punch and then kicking them in the knee…really it’s more stomping them in the knee. Can’t stand, can’t fight.

5) Go Hard: Gotta Go? Go Hard. I mean all the way. Hit dudes with chairs, sticks, throw rocks…bite if you have to. Do what the hell you need to to come out on top. I do not condone screaming like a little girl though.