Class is in Session
“Sometimes when you look back on a situation, you realize it wasn’t all you thought it was. A beautiful girl walked into your life. You fell in love. Or did you? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation, or maybe just a brief moment of vanity.”
Henry Bromel
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers I will teach you. Now get up, get on your feet! You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!”
Jesus Jumped Up Palomino! Why do I have to keep on going over things over and over again? When will these dudes learn? I’m about to put together some pamphlets and start passing them out. Or better yet I’ll give some cards to women so when lame dudes ask for their number they can give them my card and I’ll stage an intervention or something. So anyway, the latest takes place in my office. There is a new employee who is an attractive young lady so of course dudes are all in her face…including my clients. I’m really just laughing at them cause I’m sure that a young college graduate who drives a Benz and manages a Main Street program is really in the market for an underage, unemployed, GED student that lives with his momma. The real issue is this: everyday since Monday she has found roses on her car. No name, no note. I immediately shook my head and wanted to print out a copy of my previous lesson, find this guy and sit him down until he memorizes it. On the third day he did place his business card in the roses, after his identity had pretty much been determined already. So here is why this is a bad idea:
First off it may seem like a romantic building of mystery, but (as perhaps some of my female readers can attest to) there is also a negative side.
Negative thoughts as follows -
What if it’s someone I don’t want to deal with at all?
What if this dude is a creepy stalker?
How much is this person watching me?
I’ve mentioned that I don’t like to give roses, but I’ll explain why once more. In the hiearchy Roses are at the top, but there are some recent drawbacks.
1) You can get Roses anywhere: 7 - 11, Mexican dudes on the side of the road, dudes than sell them at clubs, etc. It ain’t hip to pay for your flowers and a slurpee at the same time.
2) Everybody gives Roses. I mean damn, show a little originality. Do you know how many kinds of flowers there are out there?
My thing is before you give anything present yourself. If she ain’t feeling you, you can find out then and there. If after that you make up your mind to go on a win her over campaign, that’s your choice. Maybe it will work, but I’m sure you’ve got less of a chance if you show up after the flowers and she’s not feeling you. You can’t warm up to a total stranger. Also leaving them on the car parked on the same block as her job sucks. I’d say send them to her actual job. It says, “I’m feeling you” while leaving it on the car hints of, “I know where you are and where you’re going later”. That’s not a good look. If you had sent it to her office you would have also built some props for yourself with her co-workers. Now they’re looking out to make sure you don’t get snatched as you go to your car. Get it together fellas.
some men just don’t learn.
Comment by Eslocura — August 22, 2007 @ 11:46 pm
I’d rather have dinner, get a candle, get a new video or computer game, get some books, man - so many things are better than flowers.
Comment by jali — August 23, 2007 @ 12:39 pm
Roses on the car are only cool if you are already dating or in the relationship. From a total stranger that you don’t know? Borderline stalker. Sorry guys.
Comment by 1969 — August 23, 2007 @ 2:48 pm
i’m anti-flower so no comment lol
Comment by jdid — August 23, 2007 @ 3:15 pm
Ummm can you say…..Ted Bundy.
Comment by Erica C. — August 23, 2007 @ 5:54 pm
Roses are so passé.
I was once given orchids
*sigh*
glory days
mr the ex gave me some humble little flower that grew on a vine he passed on his way to my house once. I dried and framed it.
Comment by GC — August 23, 2007 @ 7:45 pm
that’s sounds like baby stalker to me. that would creep me out. even if we’re dating i would rather you present the flowers to me. and i agree anyone can do flowers. surprise me with something i might have mentioned in passing. that’s when i know you get me.
Comment by aquababie — August 23, 2007 @ 8:49 pm
LOL.. I guess I’m in the minority when it comes to the rose thing. Although I agree. Leaving roses on a car, is not a great move and I surely wouldn’t do it. It does border on stalker a little when you don’t know the person. Maybe if it’s done once to build intrigue, but not continuously.
Now, on the thing about anybody can send roses, very true. And yes, there is a nice palette of flowers that are out there besides roses. I’ve sent variants before to women as long as I knew that they were into something other than roses.
But anyone can also send cards, buy dinner, take a person to the movies, etc. It’s what the person does “along” with those things that makes it different. Like what’s written in the card that accompanies the flowers. Like what is discussed over dinner (quality over boasting) etc.
I definitely feel you though on the entire piece about get to know someone first. But there are alot of people in this world who are seeking a little intrigue and excitement. And none of that is possible without a little mystery. Roses on a car when you don’t know somebody, not a great move.
The office? Sure. But roses also speak as “deep” affection too. And that’s just a little too much, too soon! Especially when she doesn’t even KNOW who you are and what you look like.
Comment by Luke Cage — August 23, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
What about the thought? Yah, he could be more original, but I was taught if given a gift to say thank you. Even if I thought it was lame and passé. Later on I would mention that my fave flowers are Calli lillies.
Comment by Miz JJ — August 26, 2007 @ 3:51 am
I would be curious to know who the guy was, but on the other side I would want to know how long has he checked me out, is he checking me out now, should I take karate lessons and have pepper spray on the ready. It is a cute gesture just kinda creepy/stalkerish in a way too.
Comment by Kita — August 27, 2007 @ 1:44 pm