Eye on the impossible, grips on the intangible. Happily pissing into the wind and teaching your children to do things that make me laugh for over a quarter century.
“Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.” Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)
So, here we go again. Instead of simply ranting and raving (which I’ll do anyway cause it’s my blog…neener, neener, neener) I will give out awards to those who deserve it. It seems only fitting as I look around and find ignorance rewarded everywhere. So I present my first ever, “Get that Out of There” This is for people who have their head shoved firmly up their ass. The first recipients are:
Tony Harris of CNN:
Various Parents:
A Slew of other folks:
See Bomani Armah has a song called “Read a Book”. He made a video and sent it to BET. To my surprise BET actually played it. I say my surprise because the song was basically ripping Hip-Hop or to be particular Crunk Music. I saw him perform this joint at Afram back in June. His concept was that people listen and the radio plays music that is basically a series of hooks that don’t say anything worthwhile. If figured what if I do the same thing but my content is actually about things people should do. When I heard this song I loved it. I was reciting the lyrics for days. Shortly after it started to pop up on blogs and got alot of praise from my demographic. The problem is, when BET did play it some older folks got mad. They said it wasn’t appropriate for children and it wasn’t a parody. They got mad at BET and Bomani. This is the thing…the video was in cartoon form so by their logic it’s obviously meant for little children. Of course no one over the age of 12 watches cartoons. They also said it a good way to make a public service announcement….cause anytime anyone says public service announcement that’s what it is, even if they play it on a music video show and it’s performed on stage. They compared it to the Electric Company and Seasame st. They got up in arms.
Them (also known as they):Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble.
There is cursing in the song. There are cartoon figures shaking their booty. My issue is this…dude is making fun of all the other videos on right now. Since it played on BET they had to take the cursing out (just like Bomani does when he performs it). Parents got all up in arms about it, but these same parents aren’t up in arms about all of the other videos that play around this one. It takes me back to Dave Chapelle laughing at Lil’ Jon…”I can’t believe he said skeet on the radio.” No parents got upset over that. On a CNN interview Tony Harris asked if the videos Bomani mentioned played at three in the afternoon. The correct answer (that he dismissed) is yes. My futher problem, as someone who grew up with Hip-Hop and can’t stand most of what’s on now, is that these parents didn’t mind the content of the videos, but when some of that some visual content comes in cartoon form accompanied by chants of read a book there’s a problem. Not to mention if it’s made for kids, why is one of the lines “Raise your kids”. It might be helpful future information, but I’m sure it could be pointed at people who actually have children now…possibly. Anyway you guys peep the video and tell me what you think.
“Up every morning just to keep my job, I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob/
Sounds of the city pounding in my brain while another day goes down the drain.” The Dave Clark Five
This is the working world and the drama inherent to it. I’ll say this if you’re considering getting into the field of non-profit make sure you have the intestinal fortitude. It’s not that it’s dangerous (but it can be). It’s not that it’s trying (but it is). It’s the money! See if your company is doing bad you know you should look for another job. If your non-profit is doing good, there are still several reason why you may not have funding to continue. Hell most non-profits get shook when republicans get into office. Grants aren’t always continued and for real alot of times money is or isn’t awarded to people based on the realtionship with between the funder and the organizational contact. So here I am chugging along (sputtering occaisionally). The co-worker who was the target of my practical jokes is gone. I honed in on a new victim, but they turned in their resignation yesterday. In two years under the current director about seven or eight people have left. That’s not good for an organization especially considering that when the last person to submit their joint is gone there will only be 9 people left, including one who is part-time and started yesterday. Additionally another persons days will come to a close before the New Year begins. All of this is bad for me because young people crave stability and the same comments have come from several young different groups of young people everytime someone has left over my 6+ years here: “Everyone’s always leaving”. Yeah they are. Yeah they do. Sad thing is as much as I’ve tried to hang on I called one of my old clients yesterday to see about getting in on a profession I helped him get in on. Industrial painting. I could easily switch professions for an extra $3 - 28 dollars an hour. It’s not just the money though, it’s the stability. That’s something I try to help my clients achieve and sometimes you gotta follow your own advice. Practice what you preach. I’d rather be an example than a person describing it…it’s easier on my credit score. Not to mention some of my general gripes about this field, like the way success is measured, the turn-around time funders want and the restrictions put on who you can help. I mean if a kid can’t score an 8th grade reading and math level don’t they need help? Does it make sense for an organization to say, “Sorry, when you do better on this test we’ll help you get your GED”. Them not doing well academically might have something to do with why they’re coming to you. Maybe. The worse thing in the world is when you’re chosen profession is to help people and you find yourself sneaking to help people at times. If they were felons on the run that would be one thing, but they’re kids and they at least said they wanted help. I already know I can’t help everyone, but shouldn’t I at least be able to help the ones that ask? This crap is starting to weigh my down and I want freedom. I’ll gladly perform skilled manual labor for more money. No problem. The systems sucks, the director as well, the city is dying and I just want to enjoy life and help some people…too much to ask?
“Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.” Jose Marti
So, alot of things have gone on since I last posted…on Monday. I did throw up a picture of the Meyer kid…but I won’t even really go into it, save to say one thing. This is another incident that when you get opinions from various races you can learn alot. Plenty of white people were shocked and said, “I can’t believe they did that to him” lot’s of black people just said, “Damn, they tased the shit out that white boy”. I’ve seen things like that go down to many times to be surprised. I do love the attention brought to it when the victim is white though…perhaps people will consider such situations more. Oh…and to the people who said, “He was resisting and he got what he deserved” when the cops grab you it’s never in a nice a way and the natural reaction is to pull away.
But of course the thing that’s probably at the fore today…The Jena Six.
Ahhhh…this is America isn’t it, just when you forget and the surface appears calm, two ingredients disagree adn the melting pot starts to bubble. I will say this, that will be an effective protest. I’m not in favor of marches and sit-in anymore. Due to the size of that town though, my freshman class in High School could have taken it over so the people going there now will surely cause disruption. Disruption. That is the purpose of protest, even peaceful ones. The problem is even when they break out into some violence rallies are to easy to pass by these days. How many times do I drive past the folks with the peace signs on Charles St. How many times are there rallies or marches in any place that you just change your travel plans for and be done with. Initially it was a great idea. I mean when you didn’t even want black people to sit at a lunch counter at Woolworths then it was a big thing for a whole bunch of them to march through the streets. People got scared. There was a risk as well. Fire hoses, police dogs, beatings and so forth. Now there has been enough practice that surgical strikes can be conducted against protestors. At the G8 the police got scent samples from the protest organizers and when the rally began they sicced dogs on those specific individuals. My man Dallas once said that the form of protest that is most effective now is one that causes money to stop flowing. If we look at the whole Imus thing we can see this clearly. It wasn’t outrage or cries for justice that got Imus fired. It was threatening to boycott those that sponsored his show. Then plugs got pulled and things were shut down. The people with the money got him out of there. If the money had kept moving Don would be on the air right now. However a warning goes with that means as well, things are in the works to jump out ahead of protests of that sort. Number 20 on this list I got from Mobtown shank (the whole list is worth reading ) talks about how they are calling the disruption of a companies business terrorism. So even a boycott could be considered an act of terror. It’s suppossed to be about animal activists, but the terminology says, “any enterprise that uses or sells animals or animal products”. That’s pretty damn broad. So consider this. The Jena protestors are blocking the way into a supermarket during their rally. The market sells milk, eggs and meat. Perhaps that’s not the intention, but when things are left in a broad manner the potential is there for all kinds of things to come up. Besides, how long before such definitions are applied to other manners of protest?
This whole no baggy pants law that’s popping up everywhere, including Baltimore, I will wipe my nuts with a copy of this law. Come the hell on…you lawmakers better start doing some real work, like getting drama, art and music put back in public schools. This coming from a young man who can’t stand to see another dudes boxers. Get real. I’m sure that’s going to solve the problems in the city, seeing as how they’ll be so scared to get a fine they’ll pull their pants right up. None of these young people want to run afoul of the law. For those that mention the tape from the security company that shows the kid pulling 26 guns out of his baggy pants…shut up. First, show me some video of that kid walking with 26 guns in his pants. Second, like peacoats and suit jackets could never conceal a weapon. Goddamn you poor dumb assholes.
“Justice consists not in being neutral between right and wrong, but in finding out the right and upholding it, wherever found, against the wrong.” Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)
Barry Bonds might as well stomp puppies after ever hit or homerun. For the way he’s treated, at least there would be evidence of him doing something wrong. To date there is no positive test and no record of him having received steroids despite the fact that multiple other players have been caught. He didn’t lose weight in the aftermath of the scandal like some players did either. But to this day, everyone acts assured that he did use and that he is a cheater and he is a villain.
So now what? In a league that has been coming down on people lately for any step outside of the rules, even when it involves things off the field. What type of justice is it to give a large fine to a rich person? Yeah, they’re going to take a draft pick, so what. If the Patriots have a good season their picks will be low anyway. So if a player gets caught up off the field and gets suspended, why doesn’t the coach who cheats in the context of the game get suspended as well. I find a few things about this just totally crazy.
1) Mangini gave notice that they should be on the look out and that’s how the camera man was discovered. Mangini used to be his assistant so does this mean Belichick has been doing thing like this?
2) They said that additionally they were scrambling people’s signals in regards to coach - quarterback communication.
3) Sean Payton (this past off season) got a vote on giving defenses a system of communication like the offense has, this would do away with the need of signals and such. It was two coaches shy of passing.
4) For years people have been suggesting some shenanigans about the Patriots…I personally wrote a lot of it off as a side effect of losing, but now…
So Barry Bonds is an outcast despite the fact he has not been proven guilty. Belichick is caught in the act and he gets a fine. Even the players are kind of pissed cause they’ve had to be on their P’s and Q’s lately even if they’ve never been in trouble. So here comes GutBelichick; he actually cheats on the field and there is an uproar…but his punishment can be solved with a penstroke and using free agency to cover the loss of a draft pick. What type of bullshit is that. If we’re concerned about off field activities making the league look bad shouldn’t cheating on the field be met with the stiffest penalty? With steroids, no matter how strong you get you still have to be able to play. In regards to football the Patriots are known for making amazing half-time adjustments, so if you know the signals the defense is using…I’m sure that can affect what plays you send in to your quarterback. Where’s the balance?
Carrie:Honey, if it hurts so much, why are we going shopping? Samantha:I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit. Sex in the City
So a little ways back I was out with the Vixen at a mall and as my anger rose in the men’s section I figured I would educate her on the real reasons why dudes don’t get into shopping as much as women.
So we’re in Banana Republic and she’s checking out stuff and I’m checkin out stuff in our respective sections. I went through the entire men’s section in less than 10 minutes. Perhaps 10 minutes later she comes through with the things she intends to try on. So I, having more time to kill, start going through the Clearance rack. After I passed some ancient Aztec booby traps and wrestled with Indiana Jones I found something that was decent and in my size…I had to escape the giant boulder to get out of the section though. I found it funny that what I had “on clearance” was $30 bucks, but oh well. Then the Vixen comes out to make her final selections. She putting things up for my opinion and I’m realizing she had like 6 different kinds of shirts. I mean different styles and what not. I start looking around and realize the mens section is basically sweaters, polos, and long and short sleeve button-ups in different colors. So I ask her what was the average price of the things she got…$24.99. So her average was still less than my clearance. My clearance was orignially $50.00. Anyway we proceed onward to Old Navy. We split up again and I go through the men’s section in 5 minutes. Despite my many purchases in the past from Old Navy…they let me down that day. Once again, three kinds of shirts, button-ups, polos, and hoodies. The godforsaken colors in the striped button-ups made me want to complain to the manager. So the Vixen takes longer, of course, when she’s done I ask her to escort me through the mens section so she can see my pain. She agreed the selection was pitiful and once again the average price was higher. Then we move on to shoes. She’s looking and checkin stuff out she buys some. So I say “Let’s go to Clarks Bostonian”. Now despite the fact that I have never worn Wallabees, I love Clarks. I have to say that when I check out Clarks I always see something I would buy. I wasn’t disappointed, but something happened in the store that summed up my whole day. A family came in (mother, daughter and father) and I missed what the little girl said, but the mothers response was, “There are no red shoes honey, men’s shoes mostly come in brown and black“. There it was. Minimal variations in style and color and higher prices = less interest in shopping. When I looked at the price of womens shoes I understood how they could buy 4 pairs at a time. Those 4 pairs might equal the price of one pair of men’s shoes…they may even be less. Ya’ll could buy two shirts for the price of one of mine. I mean some of the shirts I saw have no business costing $50 bucks. If it’s just cotton and there ain’t even much of a design….$24.99. In the midst of all of this there was one bright spot. H&M. Maybe cause it’s a Euro store, but they actually had some variation in their men’s gear…not a whole lot, but way more then the average American joint. See ladies, it’s not so much that we don’t like shopping, it’s just that we don’t have much variety to choose from and I forgot to mention, our section is usually smaller. Even if we went to every store that had a men’s section we couldn’t take as much time as you do…and therefore our interest wans quickly. Meanwhile I been trying to cop a shirt like Peter Fonda had on in Easy Rider for 5 years and I’ve never seen anything close to it.
(I do not need the neckerchief) I think I’m starting to develop a hatred of womens clothes…damn their varied forms and styles. Why must I be sectioned off to join the herd. Why Lord? Why hast thou forsaken me!?!??! I almost of a mind to get the Queer Eye guys to open a chain of men’s stores….don’t look at me like that. I’m not even a really flashy kind of dresser, but I don’t want to look like I came out of the Blair Men’s catalog:
“If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you’re not going to feel protected from the world.” Sandra Bernhard
So, week before last I’m over the Vixens place and her and her sister have located a train wreck in progress on the tee vee (big up Mr. Wrong). The Ozone Awards. Jesus Christ Monkey Balls! I’m not a big fan of awards shows anyway, but this was one of the worst things (animal, vegetable, mineral or other) that I have ever seen. The people involved, the production values and anything else you can associate with it. To make it worse it was on MTV and then to compound my misery Buttahman was playing a game called, “Hoodfab” during the commercial breaks. I personally thought dude was in the closet when he worked on the radio here, the more I see him on MTV, the more I want to yell - “Just come out”. I bet Superhead could tell us what’s up. I did hear later on that a woman was roughed up that night by the cops. The thing is I was waiting for that, when I was watching the awards I knew there would be some tense cops in the area….it wasn’t just a lot of black people…it was a lot of Hood Black people and hood white folks. Those were the kind of people who’s family won’t admit their related. Now, as a life long fan of Hip-Hop I have an additional gripe. How the hell do you have an awards show where 98% of the people are from down south? An awards show where there were like less than 10 people from NY I’m not sure if there was more than one group from the west coast. WTF?!?!?! I swear I lost brain cells just sitting there and watching that maddness go on. That was like a compilation of everything that is wrong with Hip-Hop. To the point were certain dudes who were nominated I knew (and it was demonstrated) that there was no way they were going to show up. Somewhere Clive crying.
“Innocence plays in the backyard of ignorance” Proverb quotes
I come to address a serious topic today. Well, first I’ll share a revelation with you. I realized that I had a better audience in women as far as my advice for men then the jerks that really needed it. Last night it came to me that there was another audience who may be willing to take my advice. Since I’ve seen Hitch I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier. The Nice Guy. That’s all dude worked with because his goal wasn’t to help jerks get laid…it was to help nice guys get the girl in a real way. So, that said, I would like to break down for all you ladies out there - Nice Guy Syndrome.
You’ve seen them before and you probably forgot them quickly. They helped you out in school, they’ve held doors for you. They’ve done all kinds of things that your exes wouldn’t do (or wouldn’t keep doing), but still they faded from your memory or they became your “friend”. There are various reasons behind the downfall of the Nice Guy. Let’s go into the syndrome.
He’s checking you out, but hasn’t asked you out:
There may be some fear and nervousness here, but there are also other possibilities.
1) Dude may actually be trying to get to know you, which may have him taking too much time and end up in the friend zone. Slow hand…not so easy touch.
2) He doesn’t want you to mistake him. As someone who went to an HBCU I learned that in the morning when a sista crossed campus, she was approached so many times that even saying “hi” to her could be taken as, “give me your number so I can bang that out”. He wants to talk to you without having to talk through or around that wall sistas have (and often need) to keep the ignorant out. He knows you have it and he knows why you need it. He just doesn’t want to get confronted with it knowing he doesn’t deserve it. So basically he’s doing recon and waiting for the chance to get to you sans wall.
3) We are the initiators, the ones that are expected to approach and while people may say that a “no” isn’t a big thing. You might be surprised at how many times an average dude hears “no”. Just as surprising are some of the reasons for the “no”. Now, a no may not be so bad, when you’re just trying your arm. When you have really noticed a sister it’s harder to hear that no. I’m talking in those situaitons where you plan your approach in your head and usually get confronted with her before you were ready…which puts you back at step one, planning again.
4) Dude is shy. Perhaps it seems antiquated, but I remember the days of longing from afar and just not knowing how to make it happen. This goes double if he sees you in a group and not by yourself as much. Groups can be unforgiving things. Plus when you have real interest things just become a lot more difficult. You don’t become interested in people everyday and when you do that admiration tends to make approaching them more difficult.
These are some of the fatal flaws of a Nice Guy. That’s why they finish last. Slow and steady doesn’t win the race to get the girl. She will have given someone else who moved faster and turned out to be a dick a shot, just because he put in his bid. Now, I understand the plight of the nice guy, but I also understand why they don’t make it alot of the time. I’ve learned that you have to initiate and you have to be ready to shrug someone off if they aren’t open to you. Saying it is easy, but it took years of experience for me to internalize it. The nice guys lack of polish in this situation is an extension of his lack of greasiness. Double - edged sword. The thing that makes him worth while also makes it hard for him to win. If the Nice Guy could find a balance he would be alright, what’s worse is sometimes the ones who make it get treated badly and end up becoming jerks.
