
“Hey Reading Rainbow, stop promoting the homo-literate agenda.”
Stephen Colbert
I’d just like to let out a little Venom for a few folks. O.k. that and self-promote. Dumb Adults are getting it on un-mute…courtesy…me. I’m always ready to serve dumb teenagers, but I’ll let them slide since they have to best chance to reform themselves. So, first I have some special feelings for the Mayor of my city Sheila Dixon.
Mayor Dixon
WTF!?!?! I know that alot of streets need repaving, I get it. But in a city that may have more than half a million people in it, while only being maybe more than 10 miles across, do you reeeeally thinkg it’s a good idea to begin construction on 8 streets that are all connected, in downtown? Hmmm? Operation Orange Cone my ass! Did we want to see just how screwed up traffic could get? Was that the plan? Stab your eyes!!!! Then you have the nerve to do this all around Lexington Market. As if it wasn’t bad enough with people randomly wandering into the street over there. I swear can already hardly use the traffic signals, you just wait for a group of people that actually care if they get hit by a car. Thanks Dixon…all I really needed was something else to make me a little bit later. Not that I won’t use all that construction as an excuse when it’s convenient.
Idiot Drivers
Special shout outs to some of you. Like the lady who drove by memory instead of actually looking at the lines in the street. Yeah, didn’t you ever wonder why people were coming the opposite way in the lane you were in and honking and going around you? Moron. Always shouts to the people who speed up to get in front of me, then slow down, then speed up to run the red light and leave me stuck waiting. You guys are great, don’t ever change. There will always be a place in my heart for those out of towners that act like even though they don’t know exactly where to go, it’s ok to drive at half the speed limit on busy streets. I’m sure you do it in your state/city all the time.
Dubya
You know what…forget it. You’re dead to me. You come off the list.
Toddlers
You stay on constant notice. Don’t think being cute would let you fly under the radar. I see you and I’m cutting you no slack. Start walking, speak clearly and get jobs…that’s right.
Bill Belichick
Cheater…Goodell may take it easy on you, but you get no wins over here.
Department of Labor
How long will we do this dance? Yeah you’ve been paying my salary for the last six years, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you. You and your report generating ways. I’m getting real tired of filling out all this damn paperwork. If I ever get the chance I’ll expose you for the fact twisting, paper-wasting, false expectation having monster that you are. I know the truth about unemployment statistics. If Bill Maher would pay me to come on his show I’d snitch on you in a second. You know what…a nation of case managers would thank me for it. You weren’t so bad when a Democrat was in office and you were giving out more money, but lately I’ve come to despise you more and more.
You wanna put some folks on notice? Go on over here and let them have it.
Amadeo,leave the babies alone.I learn more about you everyday. LOL.
Comment by Vixen — October 17, 2007 @ 12:30 pm
I use to work for the Department of Labor. Oh. My. God.
There was a full time vested employee who had to come in early - straight from the Methadone Clinic. He would nod sometimes in the middle of a client interview. One of us would walk by his desk and poke him awake. There were people who did NOTHING except order lunch and take breaks - some of them were the highest grade folks in the building.
I worked there for two years as a provisional - when the unemployment numbers fell, I was laid off.
I agree with vixen - leave the babies alone.
Hey - doesn’t it feel great to have a “driving” rant?!
Comment by jali — October 17, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
LOL @ you messing with the babies. it’s not there fault. be mad at their dummy parents.
Comment by aquababie — October 17, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
Dawg! Even the babies aren’t safe??? Whoa! And I thought I was ranting this month! I’m feeling the idiot drivers and Dubya inclusions though… that was tight.
Comment by Luke Cage — October 17, 2007 @ 3:03 pm
Hilarious.
But damn, not the babies! The chirren are the future.
Consider yourself on notice that I will be jacking this on notice joint for my own usage.
Comment by Breez — October 17, 2007 @ 4:24 pm
I love that you put toddlers on notice. I think this is just the kick in the pants some of them need to get their act together. But the drivers will never hear you. They are already gone.
Comment by GC — October 17, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
was going to ask what was up with un-mute
Comment by jdid — October 17, 2007 @ 7:30 pm
THANK YOU thank you. you’re spot on about the toddlers, but the road construction is what really kills me. and the people who DON’T LOOK before they cross the street and then give *you* the evil eye when you dare go through an intersection when you have a green light.
Comment by maryann — October 19, 2007 @ 6:21 pm
I like your rant on the toddlers…hilarious.
Comment by Blah Blah Blah — October 24, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
Driving in Bmore has always been a chore.
L
Comment by lola gets — November 11, 2007 @ 9:13 pm