Perspective
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. “
Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)
So…my ace was shot recently. He was up in D.C. and turning down the wrong side street ended with .44 slugs being propelled through his car. He was able to get away, but not before he took one through his leg. Being that we’re similar in nature I should have known that because he said he was alright did not make it so. I found out this morning that he has nerve damage and may not be able to use that leg. That’s normally bad, but he’s a very physical person (as is the nature of his business) so that compounds the issue. What’s really getting me about this whole thing is what I thought. My first reaction was, “We’re too old for this” and not in a Danny Glover way. See I according to statistics a young black male is ver susceptible to death from a gun shot wound until he’s 26. So when I turned 26 I celebrated the fact that I had made it out of that range. Not long afterwards I started seeing the trends that the age had increased to 28. A month from now I’ll be 29, a little more than a week later my ace will be 30. I thought we were out. I thought we had made it. This bothered me. What bothered me even more is that I have begun to think of getting shot as something that happens to young people. Acne, puberty and bullet wounds. Proms and paramedics. I admit to the sickness of that line of thinking, but I also have to address the truth of it. That it’s much more likely for a young black male to be shot than anyone else. I can think of times in our lives when, while not at the forefront, the possibility of being shot was there. I can think of times that I counted myself blessed that I hadn’t been shot. Near misses and lucky escapes. All of those could be forgotten in the space of a day as I went on about my routine. Just accepting it as a part of life. I thought we were past it. I thought that we had seen the danger zone and made our way through it. I was wrong. I forgot that it wasn’t just the age, it was the people. So those most likely to shoot one of us is growing older with us. It’s just the ones younger than us are more likely than ever to shoot one another. But my graduating class has not left it behind…we probably never will. The glasshouse of my perception is shattered.
I’m gonna live till I die! I’m gonna laugh ’stead of cry,
I’m gonna take the town and turn it upside down,
I’m gonna live, live, live until I die.
They’re gonna say “What a guy!” I’m gonna play for the sky.
Ain’t gonna miss a thing, I’m gonna have my fling,
I’m gonna live, live, live until I die.
The blues I lay low, I’ll make them stay low,
They’ll never trail over my head.
I’ll be a devil, till I’m an angel, but until then.
Hallelujah, gonna dance, gonna fly, I’ll take a chance riding high,
Before my number’s up, I’m gonna fill my cup,
I’m gonna live, live, live, until I die!
Frank Sinatra
Your perspective may be dismal and morbid, but soooo real. It doesnt help that you live in a effing war zone of a city.
Comment by So...Wise — October 29, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
sorry about your man. i relate to what you say. I remember thinking the same thing about jail. If you could get past 25 - 26 without going to jail you were safe. the numbers just dont work that way do they. it sucks
Comment by jdid — October 29, 2007 @ 4:34 pm
Positive thoughts going your friends way…
Great song/words.
Comment by Blah Blah Blah — October 29, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
My cousin was shot and killed this past Saturday, so he didn’t get past 25 - 26 years old.
Comment by noasalira — October 29, 2007 @ 8:13 pm
reality really bites. A lot of the males I knew back in Brooklyn have all died or gone to jail, I wonder if anyone else thinks there’s a problem with that. Hope your friend heals.
Comment by eslocura — October 30, 2007 @ 12:52 am
I say this bro– thanks for sharing on your blog, as well as my own. Thinking of this brother and sending positive vibes his way. I am glad you’ve celebrated going pass your 26th year. Celebrate your 30th, as well. I remember a couple of months after my nephew was born, I held him in my arms and I cried for him after hearing of yet another black youth being killed. I thought to myself that I cannot protect him in my arms for too long. However, the beauty is that I can share with him to enjoy the marvels of this world as well– the beauty of a hug, of laughter. This is how I see it anyway.
Comment by Roxanne — October 30, 2007 @ 2:38 am
the way things are going, we have to celebrate every single day. i’m sorry to hear about your boy.
Comment by aquababie — October 30, 2007 @ 6:40 pm
ditto aquababie
Comment by GC — October 31, 2007 @ 2:31 pm
Out? There is no out man. Nobody gets out and nobody is exempt. We’re all in the muck and mire.
Comment by Luke Cage — November 1, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
That is so messed up. I am sorry to hear about your friend.
Comment by Miz JJ — November 1, 2007 @ 7:42 pm
Sorry to hear about your friend. Unfortnatly, bullets and jail time have become a right of passage for to many young black males.
Comment by beautyinbaltimore — November 1, 2007 @ 9:00 pm
I had a similar celebration a couple years back when I turned 26. I did not know about the 28 thing. I do know that the other black kid in my graduating class didn’t make it to 21.
I guess what they say about tomorrow not being promised holds some weight.
Comment by Kofi — November 3, 2007 @ 5:02 pm