“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”
Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)

Familiarity breeds contempt. I’m familiar with the term, but one story has made it take on a new meaning for me. Brandon Morris has been the talk of the newfolk. They love to have crime stories, but it’s even better when the person is in custody and on trial. Makes people feel like something is being done or it justifies their lack of faith in the system. As someone who has grown up amidst certain things and works with low income, transient youth, I have some familiarity with how screwed up his life may have been. There’s a flip side to it though. I’ve seen more people get beat up, intimidated, humilated and so forth in schools then anywhere else. Despite being from an era that was more about fighting then killing, I know the feeling of, “I might have to kill dude, cause I wanna live”. I know strike first. I know watch the hustle. I know get over. I’m also intelligent enough to understand courts sending a message, defensive strategies, and so forth. Everytime I see one particular video of this cat, I think “He was going hard and there is no remorse.” It’s kind of an ill feeling. The look on his face does it. He mugs on the camera. It’s one of those mugs that if a dude got it from down the street, he’d think it was time to go see money. I know cats like that to. Cat’s that mug the whole world. Cat’s who used to be different, but over time you realize that even if you were ever close…you might not be safe around him. Like he was a con man…and you know you aren’t working on the same level…so now he sees you as a mark. All he does is take down marks. The type of guy that if he walked into a club today…you’d think it’s about time for you to go. Even if he has no plans to rob the place, you know how close he stays to blowing up. The type of dude that you hope doesn’t come off at your lady. Cause in that position he won’t apologize or back down. He’ll make you backdown or go full out. He expects you to back down. You know you have enough in your life to protect that you should back down. Only problem is you don’t wanna have to deal with him later. Your problem is you’ve learned how not saying that extra thing can prevent the clash. You’ve learned how not caring a little let’s you pass by. You’ve learned you’re a little tired of it all. You know what’s inside you and you know what you’ve been able to do before. Every now and again you get the urge let go on someone and this is the perfect type of person. If he doesn’t really care then you don’t have to either. If he would hurt you without remorse, then you can do the same. You’re hating him. Hating him cause you can’t even go out without coming across someone like him. You can’t even do your job without seeing another him. You go to a mall and run across little scared people trying to convince themselves and others that they are him. He’s the Sabertooth to your Wolverine. You hate him because he is a part of you. The part of you that you supress he has embraced. What he revels in you regret. What you have disciplined he has unleashed. So much so you wouldn’t even express it all aloud, cause you want to be more compassionate than him. But you’ve known plenty people like him…people that went so hard either the cops ended them…or they did enough that someone else had to. When you hear about them going you don’t feel sad…you feel a little relief. That’s one less that you have to be alert around. It’s a fucked up feeling I tell you. Especially when you can become a target cause you your elevation (however limited). You end up being seen as an easier mark cause you won’t want the drama, cause you’ll let it go. You start to hate for even being put in that position. You start thinking you have too much to lose to back down. You’re logic is different now. You have things to fight for. He’s become another person in your mind. You know there’s nothing special about him, he either doesn’t care…or is willing to go far enough to make you think he doesn’t. You start to be angry that he might even think to try you. You understand what you could do and you almost want an excuse. In that moment you no longer care. Worse is you don’t feel anyway about it either. You think fuck him and your thoughts are a mirror of his. Not only do you not feel bad, but you feel like you earned the right. You realize that there is darkness in you and you’re not sure if you’re sad that it’s there or happy that it doesn’t rule you. What a world.

Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?
Doc Holliday: A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.
Wyatt Earp: What does he want?
Doc Holliday: Revenge.
Wyatt Earp: For what?
Doc Holliday: Bein’ born.

“Every mile is two in winter.”
George Herbert (1593 - 1633), Jacula Prudentum

I’m frickin cold kids. For some reason my office feels like the heat is on, but there is still a layer of cold air hovering around the floor. It sucks. I’m currently praying that we’ll get a foot of snow and I can stay home a couple of days. I went shopping this weekend so food is not a concern. I have Warcrack and cable to keep me busy. I remember once I was in the same situation and my girl was supposed to come over before it started snowing. Well something happened and she said she would come the next day. Of course we got so much snow that she had to stay home the next day and I was at home by myself for a whole week. She kept calling me and I held back the temptation to say, “We could be butterball nekkid right now.” Once again, I’m tired of working kids. I swear if I knew this is what I was in for I would have just started working for Exxon or some other company that kills the planet for a lot of money. Too bad I can’t work for some mega rich non-profit that can just buy off politicians in the interest of helping clients. That would be sweet. “So Ms. Mayor if my client gets an internship here and a college recommendation…some interesting donations will be made.” I wonder if that would be considered immoral. I mean I assume yes if it was all for certain people, but if I do it for any client I have then what? I need a few more days of vacation. The three day weekend was good…but it was really just good enough to make me not want to work for a few more days. I need to win some lottery money…not even retirement type money. Just buy stuff and go back to school money. Then I can become a pundit and appear on shows and give commentary and write books. I tell you what: if someone can get me booked on some shows for a few thousand dollars I’ll give you double the fee of a normal agent. Sound good? Start sending offers….now.

“..it’s n***as in my city, that’s just as lame as you.”
Common

So I generally hate politics. Something I hate even more is when people don’t pay attention to what the hell is going on. So taxes went up here and everyone is bitching and complaining. It does suck, but it was going to happen. Now I’m not a fan of Martin O’Malley…in fact I’m most happy he became Gov. cause now he doesn’t have time to play at Artscape with his craptacular band. However, I have to step in on his behalf this time. Not really on his behalf, but on the side of the facts.

Did he raise taxes? Yes
Is he making us pay? Yes
Did he create the projected deficit? NO

This is my entire problem. People are either focused on the fact that he’s a Democrat and they are not or that the tax went from 5% to 6%. Check it out people, Ehrlich (remember he was the last governor) he brought up this projected deficit when he was still in office. That’s right. He put it out there and he probably has a hand in it…certainly more then O’Malley could. I mean dammit, O’Malley has been in office for a year. What money has he spent in that time? I know he didn’t go 14 billion over the budget that quick. Do your homework folks. This is the type of thinking that (and I don’t really care) will boot him out of office and stick us with some retard who just rides the wave of your ignorance in(this is what matters to me) .

Now the budget has come out and all of it is being viewed from the perspective of…”well he raised taxes so…” The dude came in and the deficit was in his office asking if he wanted some coffee. He did some things that I like as well. Education, when people put more money into education it always makes me happy. When the kids are as dumb as the adults things only go downhill. You know what I really like though? He’s putting millions into a reserve fund! Hmmm, came in with a deficit, did something to correct it and then started saving money. I need him to manage my funds. The thing is no one is seeing at that way all they know is: he raised taxes. I even heard one republican old lady say that he spent up all the money and that’s why he’s for slots now. I would like to hear about the magical third solution. If people don’t want slots (in their town) and they don’t want to pay more taxes; where does the money come from. Unless MD finds oil and starts selling it, we don’t have many options. Well, perhaps there are some, but I don’t know them offhand and neither do all the people complaing about taxes. They just don’t want to pay any more taxes…which I understand. You can’t however demand for improvements and not expect to have to sacrifice anything. Get the damned facts right though!!!! This is the type of thinking that elected Bush cause “he reads the bible”. People who firebomb abortion clinics do that too, I wouldn’t make them President. This country isn’t just screwed up because of politicians…it’s screwed up cause alot of you are morons and you don’t pay attention to what’s going on…with that in mind - I’ll be having poker games over the next few weekends feel free to come and play. Bring cash.

“To perceive is to suffer.”
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

Yeah he did it. The boogey man shed tears for someone else. Actually he knows Romo has a media-sodomy-special coming and he’s having sympathy pains and flashbacks. Actually Romo has a double helping coming…second year they got booted out the playoffs…ohh, stigma!!!! Anyway, while everyone in the country is laughing at T.O. crying. I’m laughing at the rest of the country crying about Awards shows. I don’t give a good god damn if we won’t get to see Brangelina The Orphan Eater in a gown by…some guy. I don’t care if there is no red carpet. Why must I be subjected to that story over and over and over again? Is Dengeneratees gonna bring her dogs and cry too? By the way, the Hillary crying thing, I’m not buying it until I see snot bubbles and she does those hyperventilating breaths like kids do. “I-want-so-much-for-our-fuuuuutuuuuure”. Bullshit. See the thing about Hillary (that they should stop trying to trick us about) is she’s NOT like Bill. Bill seemed like he would walk up to your house with a six pack of beer (minus 2) and ask if he could catch SportsCenter while you complained about government. Hillary seems like she was born in a pants suit. I bet even her jeans are the brand new stiff kind that turn the top of white socks blue. I’m gonna feed Britney Spears some speed and send her after some of you guys. You don’t want that drama. When I think about it out of all the people I would want next to me in a bar…I’d have to take T.O. over the rest. He’d probably have better stories and would pay for drinks without wanting anything in return. No show topics, no photo ops. I won’t say leave T.O. alone or anything. Hell, he’s crying cause he know they won’t leave Romo alone. Which of course they won’t…not until he wins a playoff game…he has to still be with Jessica Simpson though or the joke with just transform. Ahh, media.

I got stuff on Un-mute…so you can’t say I haven’t posted.

Cathrinette tagged me and all I got was a day off from being original.
Link to the person that tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
Tag six random people and the end of your post-link to their blogs.
Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the fun begin!
So here we go. . .

1) I have been known to stare at walls for large amounts of time while talking to myself.
2) Those are some of my best conversations.
3) I battle everyday so that my roommates cat knows I’m the dominate one.
4) In ‘08 I wll be calling dudes “ladyboy”
5) I often wonder if there are health benefits to letting the sun shine on your anus.
6) Everyday I say goodbye in another language to cover the fact that I always leave a few minutes early.

I should tag six people, but I’m trying to build good will in the new year….plus I’m too lazy to link it right now. If you want to do this go ahead and I’ll claim you on the back end, if not…remember how nice I was by not tagging you.

So I recently started playing it. That crack got me! It wasn’t the truck commercials, it wasn’t the ones with Mr. T and William Shatner. It was the tester. So I had been playing Hobowars (at home and on company time), but there were periods were you couldn’t really be active. So one weekend at home I started looking for free stuff that I could play in between. There it was. A free 10 day trial. As many times as I had laughed at it and swore I would never be one of those guys that sit and play it for hours on end. So I went ahead and tried it out…and now I can’t stop. I’m addicted to World of WarCrackCraft. Sigh. Yeah…I’m playing WarCrackCraft. I don’t much care if I’d be called a geek…cause I’m willing to beat someone viciously for such transgressions. I’m just disturbed that I let myself fall into this trap. Once again I have added to my internet woes. Something I realize with gaming online…kids suck. Certain things should be reserved for grown ups.

*The writer is about to totally geek out on you proceed with caution*

You know why kids suck, let me tell you why.

Where is such and such, how do I do this, where is this guy, someone help me, give me gold please!?!?!!

What makes it even worse is all the crappy typing, I mean even their internet slang is typed poorly.

Wer is teh gai? HELP ME PLZ!

In an even more interesting turn, people who want to start guilds (wiki it folks) bum rush you evey minute and so your Warrior is rolling along minding his own business when some window pops up. Little Jeb who got the game from Santy wants u to sign his guild charter. He never asked you. He just sprung it on you. Even better than that are the duel challenges. Of course, why wouldn’t me lvl 35 Warrior want to fight your level 51 Warlock? I enjoy getting my ass handed to me so of course I’ll accept.

Anyway here is my personal tragedy…or just sucky moment. I warned you I was geeking out. So I’m in a party and were a killing and slashing. One of the dudes asks do I have a guild? I say no so he sends me an invite. Against my better judgment I accept. At the time this guy is like 2 levels above me. Well I’m off of work for more then a week and I just found this crack. I crank out until I’m two levels over him and one day I get this message. “Stop leveling, you can’t be higher then the guildmaster.” Some of you may not understand what I mean. When you start these games you are a level 1. Most of your time is spent doing things to get your character or “toon” to higher levels. They higher your level, the more ass you can kick and you get to have and do cooler things. So telling a player not to level is like telling a drug dealer not to make sales on check day. You just can’t do it. He tries to get me to “promise” I won’t level anymore and tells me he’ll make me an officer and I’ll get “payed“. My response, “You need to start grinding.” So I keep on playing…he’s not on as much and eventually he comes back, now I’m three levels over him. So what does he do? Demotes me, after which I promptly exit the guild. What was wrong here? A kid who probably has no friends in real life tried to control my video game character by plying me with bribes. He wanted to be the strongest and if he wasn’t he would kick me out of the club. It’s a damn game kid, I’m going to play it. Get bent. Sigh. I feel 20 times the geek that I was for having said that. This is why kids shouldn’ t get to play these games.

Yes people I have returned. I’m currently in the middle of post vacation duldrums. I’ve been telling myself that at least there are only two more days left in the week. MEH. I did somethings during my time off…I’m not sure which ones I want to mention. Should I go into my geek adventures? Movie reviews? How about if I tell how much I hate leaving the house during the holiday season….why the hell would people go make market on christmas day!?!?! I mean full grocery cart in the self checkout line!!! This is the crap that happens when I make up my mind to “run out and grab something real quick”. Jamie Christmas…hmm, that was actually appropriate. People suck…in abundance. We should keep people to minimal numbers in public so as not to create sucky situations. Anyway I’ll be back to actually post later…I have to spend my Christmas bonus…what can u get with a $5 Subway gift card?