July 16, 2008

Celebrity Amber Alert

Filed under: Sumumabitch, Reality Show, Du Jour, You Must Learn, Humanity, Amadeo wonders

There's alot of pain and shame in those eyes.

Short Round: Indy, I love you. You’re my best friend!

Have you seen this boy?

Look into those innocent eyes and witness what Americans going over seas for pleasure has wrought. Child Labor? Pedophilia? Something worse? Who can say for sure. We do know that he was last seen as a driver for one Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr. He also was taken along through an Indian Temple full of worshipers of Kali Ma…Thuggee cultists. No place for a young child…but that did not stop Dr. Jones. In this Temple Short Round was whipped, and used a slave labor. At one point Dr. Jones even struck Short Round while he was under the influence of the Thuggee “Black Blood”…probably Brandy. Short Round help to liberate the child slaves that were captured by the Thuggee. What did Short Round want? A chance to go to America. After Dr. Jones filled his head with American Baseball and the Yankees and hot dogs…where was Short Round in Dr. Jones subsequent adventures? He probably dropped him at the first orphange in Taiwan and went home. Perhaps Dr. Jones taught him more then just how to drive a car and help him escape from gunfights? Maybe if there had been a Goonies 2 Short Round would have shown up again. Yeah…the eccentric American Professor goes abroad, “befriends” an orphan, endangers his life and tosses him aside. Short Round…Be strong.

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  1. never saw this one but got curious about the actor–apparently he’s a stunt coordinator now, but interestingly was on the show “Head of the Class”

    Comment by GC — July 16, 2008 @ 2:35 pm

  2. poor guy. indi’s a bastard

    Comment by jdid — July 17, 2008 @ 3:43 pm

  3. Amadeo…you are nucking futs! Love this post! Poor Short Round….

    Comment by Mark Dub — July 17, 2008 @ 4:16 pm

  4. LOL! All I can remember is Short Round whipping that kids azz at the end of Temple of Doom along with Indy whipping fat bald head dude that got crushed in the grinder! Ewwww!

    Comment by Luke Cage — July 17, 2008 @ 8:18 pm

  5. Poor Data was duped into some kind of unhealthy relationship with Dr. Jones. I’m wondering Gary Glitter knows what happened to him.

    Comment by Catherinette Singleton — July 18, 2008 @ 5:16 pm

  6. That’s funny. I haven’t seen this film in quite a while. Feel like wiki-ing short round. As a matter of fact, I think I will.

    Comment by Empath — July 21, 2008 @ 4:55 pm

  7. Lesson to the chirren: never trust Whitey.

    Comment by Breez — July 21, 2008 @ 8:02 pm

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