Look I get it…some of you out there feel better having someone from a small town go to the white house. You’ve obviously never read a Stephen King book cause small towns have some of the most horrible secrets…I think Palin may a ghost her whole town having been wiped out by zombie moose and she’s going to lead us to the slaughter…but that’s just me. Anyhow I’ve worked out a compromise. You want someone from a small town, someone with an accent, someone who has taken charge?

I give you Marge Gunderson.

She’s proven under fire. She’s had people under her command. She knows how to use a gun. I know that some of you Palin supporters are feeling conflicted now. Marge has a child too. Her husband knows wildlife and enjoys ice fishing.

On the Issues:
3 A.M. phone call, Marge responds:
“Oh my. Where? Yeah? Aw geez. Okay, there in a jif. Real good, then.”

Marge on deregulation:
“For a little bit of money. There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’t you know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day.”

Marge on the Press:
“Oh, for pete’s sake. He’s fleein’ the interview. He’s fleein’ the interview!”

Marge on Sex ED:
“So, you were having sex with the little fella, then?”

Marge on red tape:
“Okey-dokey, thanks a bunch. I’ll let you get back to your paperwork, then.”

Marge on Hostile Negotiations:
“Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I’m just doing my job here. “

Marge on Family:
“That’s terrific. I’m so proud of ya, Norm. Heck, Norm, you know we’re doin’ pretty good.”

This Message has been paid for and approved by Mike Yanagita.

“She’s such a super lady!”