“Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.”
Margaret Fuller (1810 - 1850)

So I was led to this article the other day and I gotta say…I actually hate it. For various reasons, but first let me get into some specifics. The author says this in reference to why he wrote it.

“The items represented on the Black Male Privileges Checklist reflect aspects of Black men’s lives that we take for granted, which appear to be “double standards,” but in fact are male privileges that come at the expense of women in general and African American women in particular.”

This dude, to me, becomes that guy in the poetry spot again. The one that points out the flaws of black men and elevates the black woman…but never really adds anything to the conversation. I refer to this as “cursing the darkness, but not shining light.”

My main dispute is that whatever this dude labels as a privilege of black men can be turned in another direction…here are a few examples:

Leadership & Politics

I don’t have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.

C’mon man, politics is about issues not picking a woman, a man or either of a certain race.

When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.

No. When we learn about this most of the time we’ll learn about “safe” people. No school I went to brought up The Black Panthers and they just barely brought up Malcolm X. We learn about those leaders that white America can actually be comfortable with. Further more…I learned about a lot of women: Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Madame C.J. Walker, Mae Jemison, Shirley Chisolm, Billie Holiday, Rosa Parks…even for Martin Luther King Jr. we knew who his wife was…I can’t say that for the husbands/wives of many other black leaders.

I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.

Sorry son, I live in Baltimore…our town is run by black women, I’m not sure how it is where you’re from. Hell even our city council has one more male then female…and out of the blacks represented there are two black men and 5 black women…including the President sed council.

Sex & Sexuality

My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.

No, my bank account will be…then my looks.

I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the “money shot.”

You can’t even use porn as a measure…Rule 34 whatever you can think of there is a porn version…if you want to see women beating men’s asses…you can.

When it comes to sex if I say “No”, chances are that it will not be mistaken for “Yes”.

I have a real problem with this…while I know this is true, if you are a man and you turn down sex you end up facing a whole different animal. “Are you gay? A punk? Can’t get it up? Impotent? I’m pretty sure there’s a brother reading this who has had this experience.

Popular Culture

I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.

Perhaps because fewer of us have fathers, however, to say it’s largely based on insulting and disrespecting women is not true. You also forgot the fact that alot of black men (and italians) will beat the snot out of you for insulting their mother.

In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.

I feel a way about this. While this is true most women want an experienced man. As a man if you don’t perform well sexually you are liable to get no second chances and all of her friends will know you were crap. My question is…how are men to become experienced before they get to you? That one’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t in my book.

I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.

I also get to watch a multitude of sit-coms with the following formula: Sexy intelligent woman is married to overweight, idiotic man…hilarity ensues.

Attitudes/Ideology

I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.

Who you been talking to dude? I have heard that…but moreso I hear that it’s because men aren’t doing there jobs, that men aren’t in the household or that men aren’t supporting their children.

I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.

How so? He never heard the “white girls love to give head” line?

Sports

I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.

In what world is this? I could attempt this…but no woman worth her salt is going to accept it.

I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.

No…no, no, no. You can do this if you’re on the team, but I don’t know dudes that hug while watching football games. Even more ridiculous is that women can hug all the time…how many men you see hugging each other in the streets?

I know that most sports analysts are male.

When you watch male sports yes…watch women’s sports and that changes.

I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.

Ladies…if you can play a sport without your shirt (or sports bra) on…feel free.

Diaspora/Global

I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.

Dude…it’s war. The men aren’t being given Spa treatments…women may be raped, but usually after the men have been killed. I’m not sure anyone “wins” in this situation.

I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.

Get the fuck out…alot more people know about Cleopatra then Hannibal…and in films both of them were played by white actors. We all lose…again.

Relationships

I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.

Why is that considered a privilege?

Physical Safety

I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.

Yo…if a man calls the police on a woman, more then likely he’ll be considered a punk and treated as such.

I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say “Hello” or “Hi” and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.

I can agree on the stalking part…but c’mon…dude obviously doesn’t try to randomly say hi to women. Nor did he notice how many women may treat you as a potential threat to their safety because you’re a black man…that’s a gut wrenching feeling.

I can touch and physically grope women’s bodies in public- often without their consent- with male complicity.

Um…I’ve never seen a woman do this and be treated as a pariah…matter of fact see what happens if a man reports a woman for sexual abuse/harrassment, etc.

Summary:

My issue isn’t that dude is just totally false and wrong (though on some things I think so). My real issue is that he has taken issues that have effects on both genders of our race and instead of doing something that could bring us together he points a finger at black men. What he doesn’t do…say in the instance of black female leaders is actually name any. He doesn’t actually lift black women up in his writing save to pull black men down a notch. He sets up a situation that causes a dispute not one that heals or improves anything. I’m not really for the “this one has it worse game” but when I read things like this I find myself drawn into it. I know black women have issues to face, just as black men do. As a black man I really don’t see many people championing my cause. I don’t see magazines directed at supporting me. I don’t see groups that are directed at supporting me. I do see groups that want me to “assume my role” and “take responsibility”. It’s like the CNN Black in America special. I didn’t like how black men and black women and families were seperate episodes. What really bothered me, however, was that the black women and families episode revolved alot around black men not being there. Yet, in that very episode there was a black man featured who was raising his children on his own and no one said, “Where is their mother? Where is his wife?” Yet the rest of the episode basically went on to say, “Where are the black men for these women?” I’m tired of cursing the darkness. On the behalf of one or the other. Where are those who want to shine light for both? Had I written this I would have focused on the perspectives from both sides of this issue in order to bridge an understanding. By looking at one you either generate animosity or have one side acknowledge the trials of the other while no attention is called to the trials that they face. Does either of us have it easy? I don’t think so. This writer and many others like him need to come alot stronger.