“I got a lotta problems with you people and now you’re gonna hear about em!”
Frank Costanza

American Press:
You guys have always had shoes, but did you use them? NO! Get involved people.

Sports Media:
The Ravens just smashed the Cowboys. Why the hell isn’t that a big story. Wait, wait…the Ravens just smashed the Cowboys in the last game at their stadium. The last win there is a by a rookie QB. We tied the record for the longest run ever given up and then on our next play from scrimmage we set a new record. Our PUNTER…ran for a first down. Derrick Mason played with one arm for about 44 minutes of the game and he recovered a fumble and caught a touchdown. All of this in front of the home crowd and about 100 of the Cowboys greatest players. I think that’s a story. In addition…Jerry Jones picked us to play in that game.

Liberals, Progressives and Gay folks:

Yes Obama picked Rick Warren for the Invocation. Tough Titty (and as my great grandmother would have said) but you still gotta suck it. Obama said he would do this…he said everyone will be involved. So are you only happy if he says that on the trail. Or do you want him to mean everyone as in “everyone who supported me”? The biggest insult in all of this is not to gay people, it’s to Joe Lowery. Most of you probably don’t know who he is but you should look him up. There aren’t many Ministers who will support gay marriage, but he is one. He is doing the benediction. Frankly all of you should be embarrassed to not even mention him…even more so to mention him in passing. Kiss my ass and pay the man his proper respect. If you looked at it in context you would see the line up is a stronger insult to those against gay marriage…if we have to pick someone to be insulted.

Now….as soon as someone pins me Festivus can end.