I know most people have been working under the assumption that Lauryn Hill was driven crazy by Rohan Marley. I submit that he was probably the end of the process. So I recently borrowed “The Score” to add to my iTunes/iPod etc. I used to own it…but despite losing it, the version I bought was a cassette and I’m not built for that transfer. So anyway I load it up and I’m rocking it all this morning and something hit me. I recall thinking about it the first year I had the album, but now looking back it just has more meaning to me. My friends…The Fugees had hate in their heart. Now I know you’re wondering why I’ve come to that conclusion, you’re probably suspecting me of some shenanigans. When you listen to the album for yourself you’ll see what I’m saying. Everyone who is a fan, emcee, producer or has any history with Hip-Hop knows this simple truth: The best verse goes last. This is the point within a group where you find out who knows how to be honest and humble. When you write a verse you’re trying to produce the best you can. When it’s time to put the song together, you have to do what’s right for the song. So if the verse that you knew was the best one in the universe isn’t quite as good as the one your partner wrote…they need to go last. It’s different if there are two people, because you need a strong opening as well. So switching back and forth between first and last is easy. When there are three or more people then you start to find out what the deal is. A weak verse can be hidden between two stronger ones, a strong verse can clean up behind two weaker ones. Three weak verses means go get job applications. The hardest and at the same time easiest scenario is several strong verses. It’s not so much a matter of which is better, but which is appropriate for each slot. This is when humility and honesty really comes into play. When your verse is great and ends up in the middle you can feel a certain way when you don’t accept that the others were built more to open and close the song. This is leads me to the insanity that is “The Score” as good of an album as it is, NO ONE come close to touching any of Lauryns verses. The problem is that she is either first or in the middle of just about every song on the album! I’ll present the best example/worst offender of the whole bunch….Manifest.

Just for the record I’ll include the text version of her verse.

You see I loved hard once, but the love wasn’t returned
I found out the man I’d die for, he wasn’t even concerned
And time it turned,
He tried to burn me like a perm
Though my eyes saw the deception, My heart wouldn’t let me learn
From um, some, dumb woman, was I,
And everytime he’d lie, he would cry and inside I’d die.
My heart must have died a thousand deaths
Compared myself to Toni Braxton thought I’d never catch my breath
Nothing left, he stole the heart beating from my chest
I tried to call the cops, that type of thief you can’t arrest
Pain suppressed, will lead to cardiac arrest
Diamonds deserve diamonds, but he convinced me I was worth less
when my peoples would protest,
I told them mind their business, cause my s*** was complex
More than just the sex
I was blessed, but couldn’t feel it like when I was caressed
I’d spend nights clutching my breasts overwhelmed by God’s test
I was God’s best contemplating death with a Gillette
But no man is ever worth the paradise MANIFEST

Look…there are certainly some better verses out in the universe….but I’ll be damned if there are many. Something no one can deny is that this man:

(Picture added so you can boo him on sight)

This man, Pras, has NEVER put together a verse that could touch anything that Lauryn has ever done. That acoustic MTV album….still better then anything he ever did, has done or will ever do.

SO HOW IN THE HELL DOES HER VERSE GET PLACED BETWEEN WYCLEF AND ONE WRITTEN BY THIS INDIVIDUAL WHO CLAIMS TO BE ABLE TO RHYME!?!?!?!?!

What the hell type of shenanigans came about to make that happen? Not only that stellar verse on that one song…but through most of the album. I understand that a group may not want to keep the same order going….but frankly Pras should almost never be the last person to spit on a song. Maybe if you get various friends of famous emcees and give them a song…perhaps then. When you have Lauryn Hill….NO! I contend that whatever type of insanity had Lauryn Hill placed in stupid positions on songs was the beginning of her fall into insanity. I blame those two dudes for not cherishing a precious gem and talent in Ms. Hill and instead putting their ego ahead of all logic and common sense. Thanks guys…thanks a fricking lot.

Check out this link then come back to my rant.

The first time I saw this one thought came to mind. That selfish bitch! In these tough economic times she runs out and uses all the Chase Sapphire points to buy herself a dress. Meanwhile her husband is a team player. Thinking up vacations, romantic getaways and what not. Well guess what, now you got no points left and you sitting around with your husband in his “weekend shorts” . See. You could been boating and dancing under the stars, but no! You just had to run out and think about yourself. Check out the look on her face when he mentions those points. I hope you like modeling that dress in the living room cause it looks like you won’t be going anywhere now. If he had run out and used them points on a 50″ plasma you’d probably be pissed off wouldn’t you? WOULDN’T YOU? It’s cool for you to just run out and buy stuff though, huh? You make me sick.

Rant over.

gives up on football for the rest of the week.

Dear Michael Steele,

Damn you. Damn you straight to the darkest and hottest pit of Hades. Honestly, I can’t say I didn’t know this is why you were made Chairman of the RNC. The country gets a black guy, they go get a black guy I get it. However, your response to Jimmy Carter has officially determined who you are. There are some things I take on faith. If the state of Texas says a man shouldn’t be executed, I’ll go with that. When an 80-something year old white man who was raised in the south suggests people are being racist against a black man…I tend to believe him (especially when there was already proof). I watched your response and every signal I’ve seen since your election coalesced until before me was the result of 5 versions of Uncle Ruckus forming a House Negro Voltron. Your election was suspect from the start. Then I cringed internally as Michelle Bachmann “praised” you with a shout of “You be da man!”. Even worse than thinking of every time personally or in the periphery I’ve witnessed some white person make an awkward attempt at relating by regurgitating not just slang…but ebonics, I had to deal with but the embarrassment of you throwing out slang left and right. It became clear that even after only a month your own party was uncomfortable with you in a leadership position. Something I attributed to racism…because hell, it had only been a month. Then you…The Chairman backed down from Rush Limbaugh. When you said what Limbaugh does is “incendiary and ugly” I thought that maybe you at least had a spine. You proved me wrong quite quickly. You know what? You are the Leader of the Party…they elected you. Limbaugh is an entertainer and what he does is incendiary and ugly. So I watched you respond to Jimmy Carter. The more you spoke the less I heard. My head started resounding with with quotes from old movies. “They’s good white folks!” Mind you, it’s already bad enough when one person tries to speak and cover for the venom of others. In light of everything I’ve seen thrown at President Obama, to watch you declare how wrong Jimmy Carter is (meanwhile Limbaugh called him America’s Hemorrhoid) – it broke a dam that was inside of me. Now I have to say it, “There is no word to describe you, Uncle Tom (Uncle Ruckus), House Slave…none of them are good enough”. I hope to not even hear you speak anymore. I don’t know how you can even look at yourself in the mirror. You are worse then any black person they trotted out to speak against Malcolm X and you aren’t even opposing someone as radical. You are worse then a token. You have become the icon of self-hatred and denial in my mind. Worse then calling you a race traitor…you have betrayed your humanity in the name of politics. You are worse then a Remora Fish to everything black. I could keep on describing things that are low, but it would do no good. There is no appropriate word to describe you. From this point out when I need a horribly insulting description I will just use your name.

Check me out over here today. I’m not dead and rumors of my demise have been exagerrated….were there rumors? Could someone start one about me and Sade and a secret love child? Please?

Die. I know you feel great. You’re really doing something positive and you want to let everyone know. You’re so bothered that I’m not going to sign your petition or whatever the hell it was. I’ll ask you to refrain from trying to lecture me about global poverty and making snide remarks about me “taking a vacation from saving the environment today”. Ahem: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL I DO FOR A LIVING?!?!?!?! I’ll tell you what you stick a pledge sheet for my organization on your clipboard or get some employers to say they’ll hire some of my clients and I’ll sign your crap. I saw more of you guys standing around than we can even afford to employ. I am Mr. Human Services all week long and I don’t want to use part of the first vacation I’ve had since November to dick around with you. Come back and talk to me when you’ve been doing that shit for almost a decade and then try and lecture me. Not to mention you have no idea who I am. I might be developing a sustainable form of energy for use in third world countries. I might be building a house out of recycled materials that I pull out of the gutter. Really all that’s not important. I said I’m not interested so just let that stand. In my mind you’re no different from the guy that was trying to sell me Nestle Crunch when I got back home. Both of you pushed it too far and made me want to put you in the camel clutch. Leave me the hell alone. Especially since there are like 50 of you guys standing in a 10 block radius I don’t want to hear anymore of your talking points. You have two choices: 1) Die away from me. 2) Concentrate on summoning Captain Planet. By the way…you should find a new means anyway….how in the digital age are you gonna save the environment while all of you are out using paper? Way to go…you could have saved some trees by putting this online. Oh, and global poverty guy. I’m fucking poor and I work with people who make less than me. Cry me a damned river. I’ll let you wipe your eyes on my overdue student loan notices…there’s plenty of them. In short when you see me and I say:
No thanks.
I’m good.
No, but good luck.

Enjoy that along with a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.

Sincerely,

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Gandhi

Might as well. Seems like no one wants him to be able to do anything anyway. I can’t help but laugh and be saddened at the same time when I see him held in a similar regard to a Nazi war criminal. Vick did something horrible for certain. His situaiton, however, mirrors those of clients I work with and sheds a light on why cycles keep repeating. It also shows the hipocracy of people in this country. Let me ask a question that I’ll revisit later. How many PETA protestors show up at Preakness, the Kentucky Derby or Belmont Stakes? The crux of this whole issue is not what Mike Vick did, but what he’ll do now. I don’t mean showing contrition, or speaking out about animal cruelty. I mean the fact tha people want to see him suffer. He went bankrupt on the strength of sponsors backing off and the Falcons reclaiming money. So beyond losing any prestige from playing in the NFL…he also lost his money. So now we have a broke, unemployed, ex-con who no one wants to touch and what do I keep hearing? That no one should, he should be banned for life from the NFL. No one should hire him. He should curl up in a ball and die. So I say…kill him then. Enact all of your cowardly online declarations and put him out of his misery, make him suffer first like some of you suggest he should. Despite what he’s done, he’s out now. In other situations people always talk about paying your debt and rejoining society. Yet not as many people are willing to hire people with records. So you want them to become productive, but won’t give them a chance to produce? You say what Vick did was too horrible? Well let’s go back to horse racing. People have eased back on running Fillys in certain races…but they still run horses that are a bit too young. Remember Barbaro? That wasn’t a one time freak accident. Despite all the attention that horse got…nothing changed about racing. I still don’t see PETA ads encouraging me not to support horse racing. There’s not commercial with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background while images of sad looking horses are displayed. The interesting thing about horses (and why it was considered a mercy to shoot one with a broken leg) is that running is a central part of their life. They naturally run…like when they experience pain they try to run from it. So a horse with a broken leg would hurt it self even more trying to escape the pain it’s feeling. Even worse is the actual build of a horses leg and how damage can compound. Most people would rather kill the horse than spend the money it would take to properly care for it in that situaiton. Dogs are cuter and easier to own. I don’t hear any outcry over people making insects fight. I guess a Stag Beetle doesn’t come across as well on a poster. Even worse then the general hatred Vick is getting, has to be sports writers. “We need to know that he’s learned his lesson.” The only way you’ll know is if he’s caught with another dog fighting ring. Other than that how can you tell if he’s sorry. Hell how can you ever tell if any athelete is ever sorry for anything. If they break down in tears complete with sobbing and snot bubbles will that seal it? Maybe if they do a Nancy Kerrigan. What reallly kills me about Sports writers is the “it’s a privilege to play in ‘________’ league”. No it’s not, that’s something nerdy fans who could never get on a team say. People aren’t allowed into professional sports for any other reason than demonstrated ability and even though you’re just a commodity to be used and traded. If it is a privilege, would someone revoke Farves so I don’t have to keep hearing about him playing the, “maybe I will” game. If it’s such a privilege why didn’t they just let Ricky Williams retire instead of taking back money he made in previous years? My job isn’t a privilege and if have issues and resign they don’ demand money back. Hell you can turn down awards and they don’t demand anything from you. All of this makes Michael Vicks situation so much more ironic to me. It’s not like he’s just going to rake in Millions of dollars. Who’s going to sponsor him now? Jason Taylor has never broken the law and he got a miniscule contract this year considering his body of work. Vick would be lucky to be a special teams player….yet people will still be pissed because he isn’t being made to suffer. So kill him. That way I won’t have to watch this spectacle any longer. I won’t have to turn on the news and see a 20 reporters standing on his lawn while legally he can’t even speak to them to tell them to get off of it. I won’t have to watch him absorb hits and play through pain. I’m sure you can think up more ways for him to suffer. So implement them all.

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’ “
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

I had to give it up. I had a long love affair with Starbucks…but as a vocational counselor it’s hard for me to support a place that fires someone I know on some bullshit. Can’t do it. Now I go to Peace and a Cup of Joe…where the owner is behind the counter. Cheaper, still quality and I can catch some ESPN with my Mocha. Take that bitches.

In other news. Deadliest Warrior now owns my Tuesday nights. Pitting two types of warriors from different time periods may be the greatest idea ever. I totally knew that the Apache would own the Gladiator. This show also reminded me to not go to every website (again). Nothing is more sad than 13 year old boys crying because they didn’t like how things turned out. Just because you guys loved the movie Gladiator does not mean they could beat an Apache. Deal with it. Most of them are stil mad because there hasn’t been a Pirates vs. Ninjas episode. Next week…Pirates vs. Knights….ahhhhh.

I have made up my mind that along with being able to kick Chuck Norris’ ass - Bruce Lee should be recognized as one of the great philosphers of the 20th century.

Heroes season finale tonight….Wolverine on Friday…Ahhh.

My job has moved us back up to four days a week. Who can turn down the money, but man do I miss sleeping in on Monday. Greeny and Golic how I miss you.

Dear USPS,

I have given you a new name. The United States Penis Service. I feel this is appropriate because you seem to have a nature of fucking me. May I present exhibit A:

Now lookit….my man Dallas sends out some cool shit. Not some overly expensive items. Not some rare item I’ll never find again. He just sends out some cool shit. I can understand you needing to take it from me. What I don’t understand is why in the flaming fuck you would feel the need to still send me the empty envelope!?!?!?!?! You not only fucked me, but you sent me the proof that you fucked me. You didn’t even send it an one of those “this item has been damaged” joints. No. You just sent the envelope on as if nothing had ever happened and everything was ok. You fuckwits. If was to show up and rain blows down upon your staff I would be wrong wouldn’t I? Why it gotta be like this? Don’t make me seek my revenge. Let this happen again. Let me miss out on some potentially cool shit again. I will cause trouble. I will call everybody. I will forward pictures. I’ll take sick days and spend them bitching to everyone I can. I’m too pissed to even continue discussing this. Fuckers.

With Malice,

Amadeo

WWWD:

“You’re the one who oughtta be shakin’ ‘cause I’m about to carve you up into sushi.”
- Wolverine

“The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.”
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Notebook, 1935

I mean really…why do people even given any airtime to him? I keep waiting for someone to stand up and tell him to shut his damn mouth. I’m considering filing a complaint to the FCC the next time I see him on television. Conservatives in general have become the loud semi-smart kid nobody likes. They are a little smart, but some idea has stuck with them and twisted their way of thinking so instead of using their intelligence to do well in class…they use it try and subvert the teacher and cause a disturbance. The teacher is annoyed and most of the other students are annoyed. The dumb kids in class still listen because they think he’s smart. Everybody loses. Now…Micheal Steele has apologized to him??? WTF??? Isn’t he like running things now? He should just say, “Hey Rush…shut the fuck up!”. Look…for the last 8 years I had to deal with a President who was a horrible public speaker (C’mon…even horrible politicians should be able to give a good speech) and Rush Cartman blathering on and on and on. Now I demand that if you give 5 minutes of airtime to Limbaugh…you givve 20 to Jon Stewart or something. Mind you I can take someone with a plan that I hate talking….but he doesn’t even have a damn plan. Yet he keeps talking and talking. His lips are moving, but I don’t know what he’s saying. First off….the next Republican or Conservative or whatever that talks…detail a plan. Second it can’t be Limbaugh. I’m staring to think of him as the John Madden of Conservatisim. The difference being Madden once won a Superbowl…all Limbaugh ever did was talk. I find it even more funny that with all the talk of how the “liberal media” is running things that every few months a Republican of actual stature apologizes to Rush…a damn radio show host! I used to think alot of democrats and liberals were soft…but in regards to Rush, republicans need to man the hell up. Look: I’m not one of you guys, I normally disagree with you guys. Real Talk though….put dude in his place and go back about your business of doing things I disagree with, mkay?