Amadeo Sogni

“Meh…”
- Amadeo

I don’t want to be here. The thing about a three day weekend is it lulls you into a false sense of security. You get used to chilling. Sunday night you stay up later. Monday morning you screw around only to realize at about 3pm…I still have to work tomorrow. That’s ok. I have 48 hours of vacation time until the new year. So that’s my revenge…ha, ha…have at thee working week.

I have urges to yell dramatic things at inappropriate times. For instance when I beat someone into the bathroom at work, once in a while…I’d like to yell, “From hell’s heart I stab at thee!!!”

I really want to push people over as well. Why the hell are people who wouldn’t fight me so rude? I mean if you can kick my ass then go ahead be rude…but suburban housewives should take up the whole sidewalk and act mad when you don’t step into the street to let them pass. I did figure out a way to deal with this in the mall. It work best if you buy some shoes. Walk through and when people don’t want to give up some space for you to walk past…go ahead and let them by…but as they pass flick your wrist and hit them in the shin with your bag. Try to make sure they catch the corner of the shoe box. That’ll learn ya.

I copped a new pair of Clarks this weekend. I’m not big on name brands or flaunting them…but I swear if I ever had to endorse something it would be Clarks. What’s funny is I bought my first pair right as the Wallabee phase was going out. I never bought Wallabees. The endorsement that really made me stick with them was my grandmother. Anytime she recognizes a shoe brand and considers them good, I gotta roll with it.

Football season is upon us. My fantasy team is set…today I make selections in the pickem league. All I need now is…beer…lots of beer.

I’m pissed because Citypaper has something screwy going on and I can’t get to Political Animal. arguing with rightwingers may not make the world turn…but it let’s me show off in a forum since Bill O’Reilly isn’t trying to have me on his show…he’d probably cut my mic if I tried to make too much sense. Why does no one take a sign that says “Poor Loser”? Then, if he cuts your mic you can still have one last say.

So I rode a water taxi on Monday…outside of white water rafting (during a drought so it was really more like floating down a shallow river) it was my first time on an actual boat. How I lived by the Harbor my entire life and never got on a boat is beyond me. It’s like living on an island and never going to the beach.

I finished reading The Incredible Shrinking Man. Matheson is the shit. I already read I Am Legend and kinda wished they had made the movie more like the book. I also didn’t realize he wrote he story that became the Twilight Zone joint Terror at 20,000 feet. For someone who really only has short stories dude has some great stuff.

I am the fricking scrabble master. I’ve been playing on facebook, but I almost bought the board version. I did purchase Mancala, which is a simple but great game. Plus it helps that it makes me feel artsy when I play it.

I’m really hating the fact that last week the weather was right up my alley and the first week of the month in which fall begins the temperature shoots up to 90. Mother nature…what the hell? I don’t need this m’kay. I’m trying to rock some sport coats soon. I got that silk chumpee that’s dying to get worn.

Clothing stores suck. I’m trying not to hold this against the ladies out there, but why the hell do men get 1/8 of an entire store dedicated to them. Then that 1/8 is like the same crap everywhere. Am I going to have to go to the Men’s Warehouse or something. Jesus Jumped up Palomino. Maybe I should get someone to call “What Not to Wear” (My girl watches it…so what) and wear frumpy outfits so they can spend 5k on a wardrobe for me.

So I worked a 12.5 hour day yesterday. I was (0nce again) forced to work the grill cooking mass amounts of food that I personally don’t eat. So after I was finished bathing in the smoke from hamburgers and doing physical labor that made me question if I actually had an office job or if I was back in a warehouse from my early 20’s…I went home were my roommate has left town and the cat, it seems, closed it self in a room. I know this not only beause she didn’t charge me right away at the front door, but because she was crying…all through the house. After I let her out she treated me like rubbing post. So today I’m not posting…it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care. So look to the left and enjoy my blogroll. I’ll probably spend most of my day on Stuff Black People Hate while I wait to pull jobs on Mob Wars via Facebook. Enjoy…or not…whatever.

Short Round: Indy, I love you. You’re my best friend!

Have you seen this boy?

Look into those innocent eyes and witness what Americans going over seas for pleasure has wrought. Child Labor? Pedophilia? Something worse? Who can say for sure. We do know that he was last seen as a driver for one Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr. He also was taken along through an Indian Temple full of worshipers of Kali Ma…Thuggee cultists. No place for a young child…but that did not stop Dr. Jones. In this Temple Short Round was whipped, and used a slave labor. At one point Dr. Jones even struck Short Round while he was under the influence of the Thuggee “Black Blood”…probably Brandy. Short Round help to liberate the child slaves that were captured by the Thuggee. What did Short Round want? A chance to go to America. After Dr. Jones filled his head with American Baseball and the Yankees and hot dogs…where was Short Round in Dr. Jones subsequent adventures? He probably dropped him at the first orphange in Taiwan and went home. Perhaps Dr. Jones taught him more then just how to drive a car and help him escape from gunfights? Maybe if there had been a Goonies 2 Short Round would have shown up again. Yeah…the eccentric American Professor goes abroad, “befriends” an orphan, endangers his life and tosses him aside. Short Round…Be strong.

“I would like to make a toast to lying, stealing, cheating and drinking. If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If your going to cheat, cheat death. And if you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

“Let’s drink to California, way out by the sea, Where a woman’s ass, and a whiskey glass, made a horse’s ass of me”

Anonymous

If I don’t get a Sidecar soon I’m going to kirk out and beat a waitress to death with her serving tray. Twice in 4 days I’ve tried to get one and they both looked at me like was retarded. Look, I know you’re used to dumbasses ordering Fuzzy armpits or Sex in the Backseat or whatever stupid ass drink that Cindy and Todd have 5 of before they end up at an abortion clinic a few weeks later, but come the hell on. This shit has been around since World War 1. If you were at a high class establishment you would have to know how to make it…or at least know to take the order and then find out what it is. It’s a drink not a homemade bomb…I’m sure it’s not hard. Hell I could make one and I’ve never been to bartending school. Next thing you’ll be telling me you can’t make a Gin Martini…I’m sure if I asked for a Apple/Mango/Pinapple/Fruitsalad-tini you could bring me that shit. Additionally if I can tell you what’s in it and at what proportions why are you still looking at me like I just ordered grilled baby arms? This is the problem with being almost 30. Establishments fall all over themselves trying to get 18 - 25 people year old into their clubs and to buy their clothes. The only ads targeted to me are for cars (I’m going to kill the people that put the “black” car ads on BET - so what if I know where I come from I still don’t want a damn Ford!!!), home loans and phone service. Them cat’s don’t have the disposable income that I do!!!! Ya’ll better get your priorities straight. It was bad enough when I was young and asked for a shot of whatever and I’d get a plastic cup. It was bad enough when you wouldn’t have Guiness. It’s killing me that all these places have Sam Adams but only the plain lager. Now I can’t get a damn Sidecar. I swear that I will bring the Wrath of a medievel God down upon the head fo the next person who doesn’t act like they get tips for bringing drinks. Don’t ya’ll have one of those elementary school drink cards with pictures that show you how to make drinks.

Here you go everyone get your pen and paper ready:

Esquire Drink Book
1956
SIDECAR (1)
2/3 Brandy
1/3 Cointreau
Dash of lime juice
Shake with very fine ice; strain into frosty cocktail glass

SIDECAR (2)
(50 Million Frenchmen…)
1/3 lemon juice
1/3 Cointreau
1/3 cognac
Shake with cracked ice; strain

I’ll go with this one:

1 1/2 ounces Brandy (cognac)
1 ounce Cointreau
1/2 ounce lemon juice

I also had one that was an once vodka, an ounce Brandy, an ounce Cointreau and a dash of lemon juice.

“The Sidecar was developed during WWI, when a certain regular customer arrived at the Ritz on his motorcycle (replete with sidecar), and asked the bartender for a cocktail that would help take off the chill. The bartender was caught in a dilema, a drink to remove a chill would appropriately be brandy, but brandy was traditionally an after dinner drink, and his patron was wanting something before dinner. So he combined cognac, cointreau, and lemon juice to mix a cocktail whos focus was on the warming qualities of both the brandy, and the cointreau, while the lemon juice added enough of a tartness to make it appropriate as a pre-dinner cocktail. So a properly made sidecar should betray its roots as a drink that warms your palate if not your bones.”

The customer was an American Army Captain…can Cindy and Todd tell you who invented or first ordered the Flaming Dr. Pepper? An Incredible Hulk? A Sex on the Beach? A goddamned flying fruit fantasy-tini?!?!?!?! I think not. Either you guys get some class or I will climb behind the bar, make the drink myself and use my Zippo to burn the place to the ground.

WWWD:
“Goin’ feral don’t mean I’m goin’ stupid. It’s just that I’m beginnin’ to see other people in a different light… I’m beginnin’ to see some o’ them as prey.”
Wolverine

“In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.”
Solon (638 BC - 559 BC)

Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present.
English Proverb

So as usual when I surf the interwebs I have come across controversy…not really. Most internet controversy is never really controversial. It’s just a reimagining of Godwin’s Law:

“As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”

This one involved Black Women and relationships. This topic always brings about chaos and thrusts the souls of those nearby into purgatory for however long they keep reading. I won’t go into what started…I don’t have to. Just say black women and marriage or relationships, discuss…you’ll probably end up with the same basic comments. Instead of rehashing I’d just like to build on something I’ve noticed. So here is my message to black women in general:

Who said you were a good woman? - That’s right. Mind you no one denies the existence of dead beat dads, lame brothers and so forth. It does bother me that I see large groups of women discussing them and wondering why they can’t find a good man. I heard that Micheal Baisden asked this question, but I don’t listen so I’m asking it myself. Who said you were a good woman? I mean if you use a class room analogy - there a some A students, some D students but the majority are B and C students. A students never have to complain about the bell curve, it’s the B, C and D students that it bothers. Elementary my dear Watson. If you take a random sampling of 50 black women…how often are all of them truly good women?

To put it another way…take an actual good women then count out 49 women she knows that are single…how many of them would she be willing to try and hook up with her brother (if we consider that he is actually a good man)? I’m pretty certain she’s going to whittle that number down a nice amount. She probably wouldn’t be willing to call all of them her friends. I’m pretty sure that there would be at least 15 out of the group that the sister in question would tell her brother he should avoid at all costs.

All of you are not angels and plenty of you suck. Those of you who may not suck should not let the ones who do slide.

You’re young and obviously not ready - What’s the deal with all the complaints I see from people younger then 25 about how there are no good men and they may never get married? The average age of a college graduate is about 21…probably older. So why the hell would your entire life be set less then 5 years after you graduate? Hell, some of you haven’t even been legally able to drink for longer then a year!!! You are not close to being an old cat lady. You are still, in fact, young…if you are not married by the time you are 24 it does not mean you’ll have to be artifically insemenated. Slow down. This also leads to my next topic:

Come to the Grey area there’s plenty of room - It’s fine to have standards. It’s ok to create lists of traits you would like to see in a mate. The problem is if your list is too specific and not meeting every quality means automatic exclusion from your dating pool. You are not going to find a deaf/mute with a 5 pound dick and a trust fund. You may find a spiritual, educated man with a career and a home…but he might not be 6′ 3″ and like dogs - get over it. Additionally stop putting things on the list that you don’t have. If you live with your mama you can’t demand a man who owns a home. If you don’t want someone who lives with their mama…why would someone who doesn’t want you? If you list starts with money, homes, cars or career…prepare to end up with an asshole who spends all his time away from home. Having priorities and standards is required…having specific physical traits, salary requirements and educational levels is pretty dumb. A college education does not ensure intelligence…if you went to college you should know this. Every professional person I know works for or with a very well educated idiot….all that school means is someone was able to remember and recall information that was given to them. There are people working at Starbucks that I trust more then some executive directors. I understand not wanting to be with a broke ass person…but really the more money someone makes the bigger the chance they are an asshole. Mostly because people like you held that trait in such high esteem that they n0w feel like they can get who and whatever they want…thanks.

100 ways to please/get/keep a man by…some lady - It’s a good thing that you are willing to take advice…really. But get some better sources.
Here is a list of people not to take advice from:

Your bitter ass friend who can never keep a man.
Your bitter ass friend who recently got divorced.
Most magazines.
Your friend that is the only one who doesn’t know her man is crap.
Unmarried single mothers with 6 kids and 7 baby daddies.
Single people who have had a total of 3 relationships…the first one during high school, the other 2 lasted a total of 2 years.
Dudes who are trying to sleep with you.
Your guy friends, who you’ve never met a girl they were dating (see above).
Your friend who gave up on even dating, much less having a relationship.

Good sources of advice:

People (men or women) who are happily married and don’t pretend their relationship is based on fairy dust and kittens.
Old married couples who are not crazy and have only thought about killing each other (they never actually tried).
People who admit to their own personal faults, have regrets and tell you what you should do instead of what the other person needs to do.
People who will point out the mistake your Significant other and you are making.
Guy friends who are not assholes and are commited to a woman (not just with, but actually commited).
Me (I keed, I keed)

He did it, He did it - Frankly, unless you have authority over someone blame is useless…you can’t make them do anything so it doesn’t matter. Time would be better spent focusing on ourselves and the choices we make. All of these issues are cyclical and rely on both sexes accepting behaviors from the other.

If every man got himself together, soon so would every woman because those men wouldn’t be trying to deal with trifling women.

If every woman got herself together, soon so would every man because those women wouldn’t be trying to deal with trifling men.

What we have is a situation with shared responsibility, you can never look at it from one side and assign blame to the other. All are accountable. Since I personally can’t change anyone all I can do is hold myself accountable for my actions. I suggest we all do the same.

WWWD:

“If yer expecting me t’ run over an’ give you a lovin’ embrace, yer barkin’ up th’ wrong tree.”

Wolverine

“… here hundreds sit and play Bingo; here the bright lights of Broadway burn through a sea haze; here Somebodies tumble over other Somebodies and over Nobodies as well.”
For the State of New Jersey, U.S. public relief program (1935-1943)

Ahhh, so I am back at work. Sigh. So I dug A.C. I understand also why it would be a bad idea to have slots in Baltimore. Atlantic City is like Baltimore with one added vice that just throws alot of things off. Sitting on the Boardwalk reminded me of being near the Inner Harbor. Tourists, locals, bums and characters….lots of characters.

I also wonder why so many places are trying to be young and hip…it was like a baby boomers convention most of the time. All them folks want is comp and buffets. Which made for a lot of akward elevator moments. I have to ask: If you need a room key to get to certain floors in the hotel and a y0ung black couple is going down from one of these floors…do you really think they’re going to rob or hurt you? In a Trump hotel no less. I’m sure that would work out wonderfully. Especially since on every floor afterwards there are security guards. Yeah.

I didn’t get rich, obviously or I wouldn’t be at work now. I did win some money…but I got caught up. Luckily the Vixen was cautious and I reinforced that so she got to leave with some cash. I would recommend that move to people. We split a few bets and those actually won the biggest, so by splitting them she got to walk away with some cash. I also learned a lot about gambling. Those penny and nickel progressive slots pay folks. I got to spend some time on the beach and even though it wasn’t bad…even minor sunburn on a black man sucks. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but still. Had some nice meals…if you’re there I recommend Cuba Libre in the Tropicana…very nice. I’ve also noticed that people on trains are stupid. If you have walked up and down the aisle 3 times….no seats are going to open up. People disembark and then you board so if the only seats are next to people just deal with it. All in all it was good. Now I just have to deal with working…again.

“I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.”
Lame Guy

I wrote this in a post yesterday and I got to discussing it with someone…this post is the continuation of that.

4) They just want to see a woman get in. (I’m sure there is a dude out there campaigning for Hillary and getting much ass from it - “Women are equal baby…let’s talk more at my place”.)

me: “Hey…let’s get together…and talk about how Hillary’s gonna win.”

me: “I’ll pour the wine…you talk about potential v.p.’s”

me: “You right, they are being sexist…another drink?”

me: “She’s worked hard for what she has and she really cares…I identify with that caring…are you comfortable?”

Breez:“Let me take your sweater”
(clinton supporters always wear sweaters. ALWAYS)

me: “It really hurt me to know that Bill cheated on her…how could he do that?”…(tear)

Breez: “You seem to be carrying some tension in your arm muscles…do you need a massage?”
me: “I think it’s from carrying the burden of the world”

WWWD:
“I never take anything on faith or at face value.”
Wolverine

I posted on Un-mute on monday…what? No love. Let me be lazy today and you go over there. Did I mention I’ve been sick? Pity me. Go there.

“This list is pretty funny but the title should be amended to ‘Stuff white, yuppie-type, self hating liberals like.”
Every Tenth Comment

I love this site, but if you read the comments section it appears that white people like to point out the specific group of white people that this site refers to (this will show up at least 10 times in every comment section - You know this blog should really be named stuffoverlyeducatedyuppieurbanliberalhipsterslike). They also like to say that the site can’t be written by a white person…it must be an angry asian. After they say the asian person is racist…other white people comment about what all the other races like and some make comments like “Jews aren’t white”. A bunch of white people like to get very offended and upset over something on the internet. A smaller percentage of white people understand humor and can read and move on.