“You can’t even comprehend what I am! I’a a force o’ nature — the beast in the wild! That little runt you’re all so scared of is nothin’ but a pale imitation o’ me!”
—–
“It’s Latin. Back in the days of the Roman Empire. ‘Quod sum eris.’ ‘I am what you will be.’ No matter where you go, no matter what you do or don’t do, it can’t be stopped. You are going to become… me.”
Sabertooth

In honor of the Wolverine movie coming out and the fact that geeks usually have something to complain about when comic movies are made, sometimes I’m one of them, I thought it would be interesting to look at one complaint about the film from a different take. The biggest group of complaints about any comic book movie rests in getting things right. If it wasn’t like that in the book many geeks won’t like it. However, sometimes there is a bigger issue with the comic than the movie…that issue my friends…is retcon. So here’s the complaint I’m working with:

Geek voice: “Wolverine and Sabertooth aren’t brothers.” That’s true…now. The relationship between Sabertooth and Wolverine is complex and depending on what writer was working on the books at the time it has changed…a lot.

1. Same Person, kinda - John Byrne drew a face for Wolverine and upon learning that John Romita Sr. had done one that had been used…he turned this character into Sabertooth a villan for Iron Fist

3. Father - After creating Sabertooth Byrne, who had fought to not have Wolverine dropped early on, wanted to make him Wolverine’s father (Chris Claremont wanted this as well). Later writers didn’t.

3. Brother - Origins depicted Dog Logan as Wolverines half-brother (who hated him) he had a strong resemblance to Sabertooth and it was revealed that this was going to become a possible origin of their fued. (The writer didn’t intend this, but said it wouldn’t bother him if another writer did it later). Later writers didn’t.

4. Members of rival clans - Some story line in another book had them as members of rival Wolf and Bear Clans that had been fighting throughout history. Other writers did not pick up on this.

5. Son - It’s a different continuity for certain, but in the Ultimates they made Sabertooth Wolverine’s son.

6. Lupines - So a continuing Arc is has some dude named Romulus as a mastermind behind the experiments and tampering done with Wolverine. This dude has an interest in all the “Feral” type mutants. In this arc Sabertooth has been used as one of Wolverines “handlers”.

7. Teammates - One thing that hasn’t changed once established is that at one time the two were teammates working for the CIA and they were both part of the Weapon X project that gave Wolverine his Adamantium skeleton.

8. Rivals - This also never changes…so much so that at one point Sabertooth was apart of the X-Men and when Wolverine heard (he wasn’t around at the time) he came straight to the Mansion and the two of them started scrapping.

8. Whatever comes next - A retcon is a tool for a writer to change something in a stories history. Or for a different writer to toss out his predecessors idea so he can do whatever he now wants. So down the line who knows what the relationship will be?

WWWD:
Wolverine: “I… urkgl.. wanted to know what you… what you meant by.. ‘quod sum eris.”
Creed: “What? You ask me that now after all these years? You can go to hell.”
Wolverine: “Been there. They got your bed all made up and ready for you. Got a feelin’ though. A real sick feelin’, Creed.. that we’re going to be sharing a room together down there.”

You may or may not know that Micheal Steele basically said that Frederick Douglass High here in Baltimore is craptastic. Well, it would seem that in 2006 he said the same thing while he was there and promised to help them out as noted here:

Michael Steele’s broken promise to Douglass High
I wonder what recent graduates of Frederick Douglass High School think
of Michael Steele’s rise to the national Republican Party leader.

Three years ago — on Feb. 1, 2006, in the midst of the bitter Ehrlich/
O’Malley gubernatorial campaign that used city schools as a political
football — I was part of the press corps when Steele paid a three-
hour visit to Douglass. At a meeting in the school library, he
humiliated then-schools CEO Bonnie Copeland and then-Principal
Isabelle Grant by talking about what a horrible school it was in front
of the media. And he looked students in the eye and promised them he’d
make it better. “When one asked if he would put that in writing, he
said, ‘I’m asking you to check me on it. My word is my bond,’” my Feb.
2, 2006, article reported.

Douglass has improved since then, as it has parterned with Talent
Development at Johns Hopkins University. But it’s not thanks to
Steele, who said before leaving office as Maryland’s lieutenant
governor that the school system didn’t want his help.

When Steele visited Douglass, he made a point of noting that the
carpet in that library was taped together. That was something simple
he could fix. I thought of that day when I was back in the Douglass
library recently for a press conference announcing a Maryland Business
Roundtable initiative to get students into more rigorous courses. As
it happened, my seat was right next to the piece of tape in the carpet.

Well here is more info on the school and the current CEO basically ripping Steele a new asshole:

March 5, 2009

City schools chief Andrés Alonso publicly asked Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele last night to apologize for making disparaging remarks about Frederick Douglass High School on national television.

A spokesman for Steele, Maryland’s former lieutenant governor, did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

In February 2006, Steele visited Douglass in West Baltimore, holding it up as an example of the failures of urban education and making a personal commitment to turn the school around. Though he has not returned to Douglass since - a spokesman said shortly thereafter that school officials were not receptive to his help - he again said Douglass isn’t doing its job during an interview this week on D.L. Hughley Breaks the News on CNN.

But, as both Alonso and Gov. Martin O’Malley noted last night, Douglass has improved significantly since Steele’s visit: Its graduation rate went up 14 percentage points last year, from 43 percent to 57 percent.

“I don’t think Michael Steele has been here since he came in an election year to demagogue, kick around our children,” O’Malley said last night before his town hall meeting at Douglass on education and the economy.

The meeting, the last of five public forums the governor held around the state, was scheduled before Steele’s CNN appearance.

Steele’s 2006 visit to Douglass was widely criticized as a tactic to embarrass O’Malley, a Democrat who was then mayor and running for governor against Steele’s boss, Republican Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. Steele did not follow through on a list of specific promises.

“Whatever happened to the new computers?” Alonso asked. “Whatever happened to the carpet for the library? Whatever happened to the new textbooks? Whatever happened to the new cafeteria tables? Whatever happened to just showing up … before you go on national TV and cast aspersions on parents, teachers and students? Not acceptable.”

The controversy comes the same week Steele had to apologize to conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh after criticizing Limbaugh’s comments about President Barack Obama.

According to a transcript of the D.L. Hughley show, Steele said: “You don’t get anywhere without an education. I can take you right now to Frederick Douglass High School in Baltimore City, where the educational system that’s supposedly training and teaching the future generation of black folks ain’t doing that. It’s not doing it at all. … and Republicans aren’t running the City of Baltimore. So the question then becomes, how do we as a community become self-empowered to make the system, whether it’s run by Democrats or Republicans, work for us?”

During his nearly three hours at Douglass in 2006, Steele grilled then-schools CEO Bonnie S. Copeland and then-Principal Isabelle Grant in front of the press about the dismal state of student achievement there. He endorsed an offer by Coppin State University to take over the management of the school.

Four months later, The Baltimore Sun quoted Douglass student Ebony Peacock as saying the school had not heard back from Steele: “We were really excited because he really made it seem like he was gonna help our school. We haven’t heard anything since.”

Since then, a board of the school’s alumni took over governance of the school in partnership with the Talent Development program at the Johns Hopkins University. At O’Malley’s urging, Verizon partnered with the school to fund a new computer lab.

Last summer, HBO aired the documentary Hard Times at Douglass High, which chronicled the school’s 2004-2005 academic year.

The documentary “tells us that only one student broke 1,000 on the SAT in 2004-2005, while another scored 440, far below the 850 required to get into college,” Alonso wrote in an op-ed piece in The Baltimore Sun in August. “In 2004-2005, 77 of Douglass’ 197 graduates (39 percent) applied to institutions of higher education. But three years later, in 2007-2008, 113 of Douglass’ 162 graduates (69 percent) applied and were accepted.”

Officials said the school added pre-calculus and Advanced Placement in five subjects.

“It’s just natural at this point,” … “You want to score. We talk about it on defense, we do it in practice”
Ed Reed

Well, well, well…I see you cowering over there associated press. Yeah, you guys fronted on my man Flacco, fronted on Harbaugh and now just an hour after my last post I find out you fronted on Ed Reed. I hope you all burn in Hell.

Did I mention that only one person who you guys voted an award to is still in the Playoffs? (Harrison: DPOY)

Manning: MVP - out
Ryan: ROY - out
Smith: COY - out
Pennington: CPOY - out
Brees OPOY: didn’t even get in (but I don’t have a problem with this one)

It’s clear you guys love to suckle at the Manning teet…I expect that. You really pissed me off with no votes for Flacco or Harbaugh, though…I mean none…not one? Even Belichick got one vote. Rookie coach makes it to Playoffs with rookie QB and that’s not worth a vote? You unreconstruced whelps of a whore. Then you go and have Ed Reed in 3rd Place? You bastards. I see how it is. That’s alright. Here is my argument and then I’ll leave it be.

Flacco:

Flacco’s numbers 257comp. 428 att’s. 60.0perc. 2,971 yards 6.9 average 14 td’s 12 int’s 80.3 rating
Ryans numbers 265 comp 434 att’s. 61.1 perc. 3,440 yards 7.9 average 16 td’s 11 int’s 87.7 rating

Hardly a blow out
Factor in Ryan had better recievers and played a weaker schedule there isn’t much difference.

Flacco played 7 of the top 10 defenses including the #1 defense twice
Ryan played 4 of the top 10 defenses
Matt Ryan - The average ranking of the defenses faced by Ryan - 20.125
Joe Flacco - The average ranking of the defenses faced by Flacco - 12.312

Ryan faced 4 playoff teams. Those teams have a combined record of 39-24-1.
Flacco faced 6 playoff teams. Those teams have a combined record of 69-26-1

Ryan faced teams with a combined record of 88-119-1 (LOSING RECORD). A winning percentage of .420
Flacco faced teams with a combined record of 112-94-2. A winning percentage of .538

Flacco faced the Bengals, Browns, Raiders, and Jaguars (who have a combined 18 wins)
Ryan (who faced the Raiders as well) faced the WINLESS Lions and TWO teams with 2 victories each (KC and St. Louis). Those teams have 9 total wins.

Ed Reed:

Led the League in INTs.

Set a new record for longest INT return (topping his old one).

Recorded 264 INT return yards. (In 2004 he set the record with 358)

Anchored a Defense with 2 starters on IR and another missing a few games.

All this with a nerve impingement in his neck and shoulder.

You guys suck and I hate your stupid sucky faces.

“You can learn a lot about a town by listening to what it doesn’t show.”
Greil Marcus

They were right. I hereby admit that all those republicans and conservatives were right. I can see that now. They said that Small Town U.S.A. is the “Real America”…and they are right. How could we have all been so blind? Don’t think me crazy…I’m not joining up and Sarah Palin has not promised to make me cloak of Wolf fur. The thing is kiddies, Small Towns being the real America is actually a bad thing. People always paint small towns as peaceful and friendly places to live. Which is true, however, they neglect to mention the other side of small towns. Before I get too far into this I’d ask you all to think about anytime you’ve spent in a relatively small group of people who were together alot. Maybe if you lived on campus at college or if you grew up in a close neighborhood and went to school with your neighbors. Was every thing really good about that time? Really? See there are certain things about small towns that I think we have all neglected to think of. Statistics say in a small town a resident is less likely to be locked up…because the cop knows you. The local constable knows who’s going to get drunk on friday night and shouldn’t be driving. He knows if someone has something stolen who’s likely to have taken it. Knowledge is the big thing about small towns. You might not know that the guy in cubicle next to you beats his wife or the secretary is a dominatrix in her spare time. In a small town however, there are no real secrets…only people pretending to have them and people pretending not to know them. When I think of small towns I always think of Stephen King stories. See a big city has to experience a large event to effect everyone. A small town is so interconnected that the ripples move a lot faster. Take the novel Needful Things:

“The devil in disguise comes to a quiet, peaceful town and opens a store called Needful Things. The store has an item for everyone in town. All the devil asks for in return is a few dirty pranks. Little do they know, that they’ve sold their souls, and the pranks escalate to murder…”

Sound far fetched? Not if you read the book. It didn’t require magic or intense trickery. The antagonist simply played on existing fueds, dislikes and buried frustrations to make an entire town explode. Things that are always there, but in most cases can be ignored because of distance. Distance doesn’t exist in small towns. In small towns everyone knows your name and history. They know your family. They know that your crazy uncle used to molest chickens. The big thing is if they chose to talk about it and to whom. I know things about co-workers, family members, close friends and so forth. In each case however I get to have distance. Imagine working a block from the person who lives next door to you. Living across the street from the cop that locked you up once. There could never be any real secrets…just things that you don’t speak of. Imagine the kind of drama that could come forth in a small town if everyone started exposing secrets or talking outloud about what everyone already knows? How much hostility could be brought to the surface with little effort? It’s easy to see why Stephen King sets most of his stories in a small town. There’s so much potential for drama. Playing up the good qualities of people in a small town is fine…my issue is with ignoring the other things that exist there. People in a big city aren’t bad. They have as much potential for goodness as anyone. The real issue is more people are strangers and therefore don’t know each others secrets. When you don’t know someone’s secrets it’s harder to place them in the scheme of things. Secrets are as powerful as they can be destructive. That’s what small towns are and that’s the real America.

I figured I would post this just to get it out of the way. I just can’t let the whole “Black Male Privilege” thing slide.

Leadership & Politics

1. I don’t have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.

C’mon man, politics is about issues not picking a woman, a man or
either of a certain race. Anyone who bases voting on something like
that is a moron.

2. When I read African American History textbooks, I will learn mainly
about black men.
3. When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power
Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black
men.

I went to public school so I have yet to see an African American
History textbook…personally I can name as many women as I can men in
this area. When we learn about this most of the time we’ll learn about
“safe” people. No school I went to brought up The Black Panthers and
they just barely brought up Malcolm X. We learn about those leaders
that white America can actually be comfortable with. I learned about a
lot of women: Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Madame C.J. Walker, Mae
Jemison, Shirley Chisolm, Billie Holiday, Rosa Parks…even for Martin
Luther King Jr. we knew who his wife was…I can’t say that for the
husbands/wives of many other black leaders.

4. I can rely on the fact that in the near 100-year history of
national civil rights organizations such as the NAACP and the Urban
League, virtually all of the executive directors have been male.

Call me back when these organizations become effective again. However,
given the time periods they started in it would have been even more
radical to have a female director then it was to be a “black
organization”.

5. I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black
women.

Sorry son, I live in Baltimore…our town is run by black women, I’m not
sure how it is where you’re from. Hell even our city council has one
more male then female…and out of the blacks represented there are two
black men and 5 black women…including the President sed council.

6. Despite the substantial role that black women played in the Civil
Rights Movement and Black Power Movement, currently there is no black
female that is considered a “race leader”.

Name a man who actually is a race leader I can’t say that we have one…
that’s why people want Tiger Woods to say something they’re desperate
for anyone.

7. I can live my life without ever having read black feminist authors,
or knowing about black women’s history, or black women’s issues.

That’s true of plenty of authors, history and issues. Most people
don’t even know Alexander Dumas is black. Who writes about black men’s
issues…and I don’t mean “10 reasons why he cheats” type of crap
either. As far as history if you rely on any one but yourself your
knowlege of black history will be: MLK, Rosa Parks and George
Washington Carver doing a million things with the peanut. So basically
the reverse is also true.

8. I can be a part of a black liberation organization like the Black
Panther Party where an “out” rapist Eldridge Cleaver can assume
leadership position.

First off…If I was several years older this would have a better chance
to be true, but it has no application today. This is a bullshit
picking and choosing of information. Why don’t you ascribe fault for
having anything to do with any organization or group who had an
imprefect man in a leadership role. Especially ones who were
essentially over by the time I was born. He also got addicted to crack
and endorsed Ronald Regan that’s on us as well I guess? You do neglect
to mention that his rapes were of white women and tied to the social
climate at the time and he saw it as revenge against an oppressor.

9. I will make more money than black women at equal levels of
education and occupation.
First, this stat never mentions that fact that more women work part-
time and take time off in order to have and care for children thus
diminishing their total earnings. Also if one can prove such a thing
is happening then their are actions that can be taken under the law.

10. Most of the national “opinion framers” in Black America including
talk show hosts and politicians are men.

National opinion framers are bullshit. The majority of thinking people
rarely line up with them. Similar to political pundits. However in
this election cycle I can name a even amount of black men and women on
CNN who are called on a regular basis. Actually one of those men has
not been around as much. So basically there are more of us
bullshitting then black women?

Beauty

11. I have the ability to define black women’s beauty by European
standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison,
black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms
of skin tone, hair, or body size.

The light skinned thing has gone both ways. In addition efforts to
combat this thinking have done more to count against lightskinned men
than women. Lightskinned dudes haven’t been popular since the 80’s.
Don’t even get me started on hair. I’m not considered professional
since I have more then a 1/4 inch of hair and if I was to perm to come
closer to European standard that wouldn’t help me either. I’m also
encouraged to do what I can to get “waves” so my hair can seem less
nappy. In total anyone can judge anyone else by whatever standard they
chose…if it’s intelligent or not is another story. I also don’t know
any black men who prefer european body size…that’s just false.

12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair
conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do.

See: more then a 1/4 inch of hair = unprofessional. Employers have
banned locks and cornrows…most don’t appreciate a man with an afro.
This is blatantly ignoring reality. Not to mention black women don’t
have to…the same way other women don’t have to. If most of them
actually listened to men they wouldn’t.

13. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of being terrorized
by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many instances bigger is
better for my sex.

Where is this at? I hear people say big girls need love…I don’t hear
many people advocating getting with fat dudes. Even mentioning this is
just playing into a mostly european standard which even a lot of
caucasians think is a false expectation of the average person. Hell,
large black women even have a descriptive term…BBW.

14. My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is
valued by members of the opposite sex.

No, my bank account will be along with my car and whatever property I
own…then my dick size and then my looks the latter two changing order
depending on who’s doing the choosing.

Sex & Sexuality

15. I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women
by the common practice of the “money shot.”

You can’t even use porn as a measure…Rule 34 whatever you can think of
there is a porn version…if you want to see women beating men’s asses…
you can. Is the man who’s dominated on film women’s responsibility?
It’s sex for pay and the entertainment of others not to reproduce or
express love or emotion. Is lesbian porn demeaning to women? What
about a gay man getting the money shot?

16. I can believe that causing pain during sex is connected with a
woman’s pleasure without ever asking her.

You’re talking to the wrong people dude. Only people into S&M are
really into pain. But I will say this…in my experience more women say
“harder, faster” then “slower, softer”…actually I don’t think I’ve
ever heard the latter. Any lover, male or female, who never talks to
their partner about what they enjoy is a poor lover.

17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring
that my wife or significant other be a virgin.

Any one can not want one thing for themselves, but prefer it from
someone else…even if it’s stupid.

18. When it comes to sex if I say “No”, chances are that it will not
be mistaken for “Yes”.

Chances are my manhood will be challenged and I will be insulted for
saying no. Chances are that when it comes down to sex I’m expected to
want it at any given time and should I turn it down I’m suddenly
“suspect” for a variety of reasons. If you are a man and you turn down
sex you end up facing a whole different animal. “Are you gay? A punk?
Can’t get it up? Impotent? I’m pretty sure there’s a brother reading
this who has had this experience.

19. If I am raped, no one will assume that “I should have known
better” or suggest that my being raped had something to do with how I
was dressed.

If I am raped I will be looked down on and considered a punk. I will
be expected to give up my life before allowing someong to take
advantage of me in such a way. If I’m raped I will be looked at in a
totally different light. Thanks for suggesting rape could possibly be
less painful for one sex then another.

20. I can use sexist language like bonin’, laying the pipe, hittin-it,
and banging that convey images of sexual acts based on dominance and
performance.

What is sexist about this language? I mean really…is it no longer
sexist if a woman uses the same language? This is a stretch.
Addititonally even books that play to womens sexual fantasies don’t
have a bunch of submissive men. That particular forum, strictly
marketed to and bought by women, frames men in the light of dominance
and performance.

21. I can live in a world where polygamy is still an option for men in
the United States as well as around the world.

Polygamy is illegal in the United States…I’ll face criminal charges
for it. I can also live in a world where things are based on a
Matrilineal succession because while the paternity may be uncertain
maternity is easily provable…without DNA results.

22. In general, I prefer being involved with younger women socially
and sexually.

Many younger women prefer older men. I also am assumed to be less
mature then a woman my age for the entirety of my life as well.
However, to suggest that generally men want a younger woman is also a
stretch. How many women are looking for younger men?

23. In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature
I receive among my peers.

In that equation I also have the “privilege” to be expected to perform
well sexually. It’s not considered positive for a woman to have to
teach me or guide me. I’m subject to be ridiculed for a “sub-par”
performance. Even having multiple partners will not ensure my ability.
Double edged sword…especially since more women are interested in men
that other women are interested in.

24. I have easy access to pornography that involves virtually any
category of sex where men degrade women, often young women.

Rule 34….it goes both ways and is therefore invalid. If a woman wants
she can find porn of a man having sex with a donkey. Somewhere there
is porn of Shaggy and Fred getting it on.

25. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where “purity balls”
apply to girls but not to boys.

Yes…I’m very privileged that I’m not taught to value my sexuality and
am encouraged to “throw my dick on the craps table.”

26. When I consume pornography, I can gain pleasure from images and
sounds of men causing women pain.

Keep your fetish to yourself and don’t ascribe it to me.

Popular Culture

27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on
insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.

Perhaps because fewer of us have fathers, however, to say it’s largely
based on insulting and disrespecting women is not true. You also
forgot the fact that alot of black men (and italians) will beat the
snot out of you for insulting their mother.

28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play
funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me
for the entire nation to laugh.

I also get to watch a multitude of sit-coms with the following
formula: Sexy intelligent woman is married to overweight, idiotic man…
hilarity ensues.

29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black
films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film
are men.

I call shenanigans. There are more films depicting negative black men
than positive. There are as many leading black women as there are men.
The first black person to get an oscar was a black woman. While black
women may face challenges in film…so do black men whos main role is
Thug #1.

30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are
members of my sex.

I can imagine that most of the mainstream artists in Hip Hop aren’t
promoted based on talent but their marketability to young white men…
who can live out testosterone fueled fantasies through their music.

31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop
videos are there solely to please men.

Umm…that’s called visual marketing….when you see men in women’s videos
no one thinks…”wow, he must be smart.”

32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of
males dominating women, sexually and socially.

Not true for me and fans of true hip-hop music. Which will get no play
or promotion. As long as black women are buying it and dancing to it
blame is shared equally…despite the fact that neither of us is the
main consumer of the music in question.

33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp,
which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no
opposition from other men.

What’s the genre of pimp movies…blaxploitation right? Thank you.
Besides. Goldy’s brother didn’t approve of his lifestyle so there.

34. I can hear and use language like bitches and hoes that demean
women, with virtually no opposition from men.

Women can call men dogs with virtually no opposition from men or
women. I can also be called a man whore like it’s a compliment.

35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a “wife
beater” and never have the language challenged.

Women should challenge that shouldn’t they…perhaps they shouldn’t call
them wife beaters either. However, the actual name is A-line t-shirt
and the description comes about from trailer park white men of a low
class who often drink too much and abuse their wives…score one for
black men?

36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not
include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.

Please stop telling me what I like…frankly I quite enjoy Ellen Ripley
from the Alien series. I also dig Sarah Connors transformation in the
second Terminator movie. Meanwhile I also get to see less examples of
black men in movies being portrayed as morally, intellectually or
spiritually strong…which is basically a description of almost every
Angela Basset character.

37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are
based on violence.

Martial Arts is a fighting style and if you ever really watched any of
the movies or studied martial arts you would know that those who enjoy
engaging in the violence are usually portrayed as the villan and
dishonorable person. But, where is the privilege in this or the
previous assertion?

38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a
thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with
virtually no opposition from other men.

I am victimized by the popularizing of the idea of being a thug…as
that’s what most people assume I am because I am a black man.

Attitudes/Ideology

39. I have the privilege to define black women as having “an attitude”
without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.

All men are dogs. Black men don’t take care of their kids. We all
cheat…shall I go on. I also get to accept the idea that all black
women are strong black women…while it’s a miracle if I’m responsible.

40. I have the privilege of defining black women’s attitudes without
defining my attitudes as a black man.

This is just bullshit. Any sex or race can freely engage in
assumptions about character traits of another. No one shuts down black
women who speak of a negative view of black men.

41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on
returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than
in promoting policies that strengthen black women’s independence, or
that provide social benefits to black children.

I also get to believe, along with everyone else, that most black men
don’t participate or take care of their families. Meanwhile more black
women would cite support as a large need before they say they need to
be more independent…which a lot of women actually are. As far as the
benefits for black children….what…we don’t want them to have health
care, is that it?

42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son
to be a man.

Just as I have the privilege of believing I can’t raise a daughter to
be a woman. Depends on the person, the popular phrase is, You can’t be
one if you never see one. However, I don’t think most black men raised
by single mothers would agree with your assertion.

43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her
man.

Personal choice and not socially accepted anymore. Which doesn’t
matter if the woman in question doesn’t agree.

44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender
relationships between black men and women were perfect.

I do? Which culture are you basing this on and how are they imperfect…
since we all have such a deep knowledge of our pre-slavery ancestors…
elaborate. I don’t hear…anyone speaking like they believe this…even if
they do.

45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.

I have the privilege of black feminists stating that feminism and
black feminism aren’t one and the same. Sojourner Truth any one -
Ain’t I a Woman?

46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black
family is due to the black matriarchy.

Who you been talking to dude? I hear that it’s because men aren’t
doing their jobs, that men aren’t in the household or that men aren’t
supporting their children.

47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities
are women’s roles.

I have the privilege of having a woman tell me “Hell to the naw”. I
also have the privilege of believing that certain household chores are
men’s roles as well.

48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different
sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this
belief.

Um, excuse me…not familiar. I have heard more often about the
looseness and sexual willingness of white women and the submissive
tendancies of asian women.

Sports

49. I will make significantly more money as a professional athlete
than members of the opposite sex will.

Perhaps if more women supported women’s sports this wouldn’t be an
issue. However I would wager that more men then women actually watch
women’s sports than.

50. In school, girls are cheerleaders for male athletes, but there is
no such role for males to cheerleader for women athletes.

The same squads cheer for male and female teams at institutions that
have both…they also include men, when you can find some who don’t mind
being mocked for doing it.

51. My financial success or popularity as a professional athlete will
not be associated with my looks.

The same is true for women…a good athlete doesn’t have to be pretty.
Those female atheletes who look good but don’t succed at their sport
are ridiculed for it. Men will be quick to point out which female
atheletes are just pretty faces and can’t compare to ones that
actually have talent. No man ever said Anna Kournikova was any good at
Tennis.

52. I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing
video games while women are most likely involved with household or
childcare duties.

If you are married or living with a pushover. I’m also expected to fix
what breaks, take care of automobiles, cut grass, take out trash and
often to provide a woman with free time away from children. While also
being expected to not know how to take care of my own children.

53. I can spend endless hours watching sports TV and have it
considered natural.

And women can’t watch, fashion shows, soap operas, HGTV, etc.?

54. I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men
while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as
sexual.

WHAT THE HELL?! Women can hug or be emotionally expressive at anytime
without it being considered sexual. You can do this if you’re on the
team and you’ve just won a championship, but I don’t know dudes that
hug while watching football games. The only time it’s accepted for men
to hug besides this is when we haven’t seen each other for a long
time, most of the time we would have to deal with others thinking we
are homosexual. This is just false.

55. I know that most sports analysts are male.

If you’re watching males sports…seeing how more men are interested in
sports that’s a given. However for women’s sports you will see more
female analysts…since men don’t play women’s sports.

56. If I am a coach, I can motivate, punish, or embarrass a player by
saying that the player plays like a girl.

Would it be a compliment to suggest a woman does something like a man?
Depends on the player. Most intelligent ones already know the bogus
methods coaches use for motivation.

57. Most sports talk show hosts that are members of my race are men.

More men are interested in sports then women. Your point is not valid.

58. I can rest assured that most of the coaches -even in predominately-
female sports within my race are male.

I can’t even name black male coaches in female sports. I can think of
some white ones. I do know the woman that is considered the best
women’s college basketball coach of all time as well, how many women
know her name?

59. I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be
considered a problem.

How many women want to play sports without a shirt and or sports bra?

60. I am essentially able to do anything inside or outside without my
shirt on, whereas women are always required to cover up.

Yet again a lame attempt at scoring a point. Especially since men can
be viewed strictly as sexual objects when removing their shirts.

Diaspora/Global

61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation
and disfigurement of a girl’s genitalia is used to deny her sexual
sensations or to protect her virginity for males.

And most women think it’s gross for a man to be uncircumcised. Outside
of the few cultures that actually do this, this is not something the
average american man is in favor of…or the average man who is not a
part of one of these cultures. Stretching.

62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary
tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.

Is this really a point? Slow or quick death is such a privilege.
Knowing your wife, mother, sister or daughter may face rape during war
is great for us, huh? Luckily since women aren’t drafted or required
to be put in combat situations (Unless you’re Israeli) we’ve already
had the privilege of dying before this happens…lucky us.

63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader
in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do
male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.

How does asia even come up in this debate? I can actually name a few
female leaders (Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Queen Nzinga) but frankly most
people can’t name many of either sex. Which I don’t see how I benefit
from.

64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to
women in developing countries both sexually and socially.

Yes, because women can’t travel and engage socially or sexually with
men in any developing country? Please…my roommate had a boyfriend in
Madagascar when she was in Peace Corps. It all depends on the beliefs/
religion of where you are…I’m also pretty sure that places with strict
beliefs or religions would not welcome me to come and sleep with their
women. In fact…in some I wouldn’t even be allowed to so much as lay my
hand on their shoulder.

65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars
and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and
mass destruction.

Great for me…I’m also the first sent to fight and die. And the one who
someone can gain honor by killing. Hooray?

College

66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the
race at a much higher rate than black women will.

Depends on what school you go to. Since less black men go to college
this is actually false.

67. I have the privilege of having the phrase “sewing my wild oats”
apply to my sex as if it were natural.

Yes…I’m encourged to throw my dick on the craps table…great.

68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will
have with women.

Yes. That’s a privilege? Women don’t want to carry men financially,
hmm I see the benefit. Now tell me how many intelligent men are
looking for uneducated women who haven’t done anything with their
lives.

69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial
marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.

Why is interracial marriage a privilege?

70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the
privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a
black woman.

That is not a certainty…unless I just choose to marry anyone, but in
that case everyone would be able to get married.

71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that
is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me
and out perform me academically.

Yes…because it’s expected that I would either being dead, in jail or
selling drugs somewhere. Great.

72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to
exploit black women.

I will have incredible opportunities to exploit anyone should I look
for them. I don’t consider immoral actions to be a privilege, however.

Communication/Language

73. What is defined as “News” in Black America is defined by men.

Is it? I hadn’t heard that. Who are these men that define the Black
American news? Frankly I find this to be unlikely since black women
are considered the group with more spending power and attention in
this country goes to this with money.

74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a
relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.

I also have no guide for a healthy emotional state for a man. I’m told
to express my feelings yet am judged if should cry…most women don’t
even know how to deal with a man who breaks down in tears. I’m told to
be stoic and yet are criticized for not showing emotion…when everyone
else makes up their minds then come back and talk to me.

75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.

So can women.

76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like
patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation
mean.

Not having a vocabulary is not a privilege. I also have the privilege
of having phallocentric thrown in my face anytime someone feels like
it. Oh, but all black men know complicity and colluding…cause we’re
all criminals…they go along with co-defendent.

Relationships

77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much
higher rate than black women marry.

Once again…why is marrying someone who isn’t black a privilege?

78. My “strength” as a man is never connected with the failure of the
black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely
associated with the failure of the black family.

The reverse is true. Most black families are seen as strong because of
the black woman in spite of the actions of the black man.

79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially
more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.

No, I don’t. There aren’t alot of people who want to invite grown men
to come and live with them. I do know that if I’m considering a
divorce I have to consider the hit to my income that will come as a
result.

80. Chances are I will be defined as a “good man” by things I do not
do as much as what I do. If I don’t beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a
considered a “good man”. In comparison, women are rarely defined as
“good women” based on what they do not do.

Which is a also because “good men” are considered a rare thing.
However, even if you don’t beat cheat or lie doesn’t mean you won’t be
considered a good man automatically.

81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household
or child-care responsibilities.

Depends on who you’re married to or live with…every woman isn’t
willing to accept a man just relaxing while she works.

82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic
responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up
disproportionately more time as adults.

You don’t know me…I was taught to cook, clean and more before I was
11. I washed the dishes, washed everyones clothes, took out the trash
and helped more family members move than I can remember. It all
depends on the family you were raised in. However, it’s not so much of
a privilege when you end up living alone and have no idea how to do
those simple things for yourself.

Church & Religious Traditions

83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is
male.

Partially because of bibilical traditions (it is a church) and partly
because single women enjoy attending church and thinking that they
will end up with the pastor like Thelma from Amen. If you don’t like
it find a new church. A woman is running one somewhere in your city.

84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male
point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head
of household.

Well what do you expect….progressive thinking views from a place that
uses writings from thousands of years ago as their basis.

Physical Safety

85. I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race
if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.

Dude I’m from the city of stop snitching, but I don’t think it’s a
generally accepted practice for black men to call the cops anywhere in
the country. It’s actually a pretty good way to get yourself killed.

86. I have the privilege of knowing men who are physically or sexually
abusive to women and yet I still call them friends.

First off anyone who doesn’t mind having a friend who abuses women is
likely to do it themselves. Second, I don’t see women shunning each
other for mistreating men. Third, this is based in ignorance…no man
that’s worth anythign is going to embrace a man who abuses women.

87. I can video tape women in public- often without their consent -
with male complicity.

The reverse is also true.

88. I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not
know and say “Hello” or “Hi” and not fear that it will be taken as a
come-on or fear being stalked because of it.

Untrue. Normally when a man speaks to a woman he’s treated as if he’s
about to come-on to her or try to get her phone number. He may not
have to worry about being stalked, but the initial assertion as
totally untrue.

89. I can use physical violence or the threat of physical violence to
get what I want when other tactics fail in a relationship.

This is proof of being a degenerate not a privilege. A woman has
things that she can threaten as well…so is it a privilege that the
tactic we can use is a crime?

90. If I get into a physical altercation with a person of the opposite
sex, I will most likely be able to impose my will physically on that
person.

Blame it on nature…unless you’re dating Layla Ali or something. Once
again, I can’t count assault as privilege. Then again…you might want
to debate this with Lionel Richie.

91. I can go to parades or other public events and not worry about
being physically and sexually molested by persons of the opposite sex.

Depends on what kind of women are around and frankly if a man
complains about this being done to him he’s more likely to be ignored.

92. I can touch and physically grope women’s bodies in public- often
without their consent- with male complicity.

Once again commiting a crime is not a privilege. Also if a woman
should choose to engage in this there is less of a chance that other
women may try and assist the man in question then in the reverse
scenario.

93. In general, I have the freedom to travel in the night without
fear.

I have a large issue with this one. In this situation I am the one
that people are told to be fearful of. I have to worry about being
considered a threat. I’m subject to being avoided just because I’m a
black male. So actually this is not true. I have to worry that
someones fear will lead them to do something that causes trouble for
me. Besides, anyone traveling alone at night can be robbed, shot or
killed.

94. I am able to be out in public without fear of being sexually
harassed by individuals or groups of the opposite sex.

Depends on where you are. However, if I am no one will really care.
I’d be ridiculed if I report it. As a matter of fact many people
believe a man can’t be sexually harassed when they can. So I’ll not
only say this isn’t true…I’ll thank you to not ignore that fact that I
can be harassed and ask you to stop contributing to such ignorance.

“Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.”
Margaret Fuller (1810 - 1850)

So I was led to this article the other day and I gotta say…I actually hate it. For various reasons, but first let me get into some specifics. The author says this in reference to why he wrote it.

“The items represented on the Black Male Privileges Checklist reflect aspects of Black men’s lives that we take for granted, which appear to be “double standards,” but in fact are male privileges that come at the expense of women in general and African American women in particular.”

This dude, to me, becomes that guy in the poetry spot again. The one that points out the flaws of black men and elevates the black woman…but never really adds anything to the conversation. I refer to this as “cursing the darkness, but not shining light.”

My main dispute is that whatever this dude labels as a privilege of black men can be turned in another direction…here are a few examples:

Leadership & Politics

I don’t have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.

C’mon man, politics is about issues not picking a woman, a man or either of a certain race.

When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.

No. When we learn about this most of the time we’ll learn about “safe” people. No school I went to brought up The Black Panthers and they just barely brought up Malcolm X. We learn about those leaders that white America can actually be comfortable with. Further more…I learned about a lot of women: Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Madame C.J. Walker, Mae Jemison, Shirley Chisolm, Billie Holiday, Rosa Parks…even for Martin Luther King Jr. we knew who his wife was…I can’t say that for the husbands/wives of many other black leaders.

I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.

Sorry son, I live in Baltimore…our town is run by black women, I’m not sure how it is where you’re from. Hell even our city council has one more male then female…and out of the blacks represented there are two black men and 5 black women…including the President sed council.

Sex & Sexuality

My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.

No, my bank account will be…then my looks.

I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the “money shot.”

You can’t even use porn as a measure…Rule 34 whatever you can think of there is a porn version…if you want to see women beating men’s asses…you can.

When it comes to sex if I say “No”, chances are that it will not be mistaken for “Yes”.

I have a real problem with this…while I know this is true, if you are a man and you turn down sex you end up facing a whole different animal. “Are you gay? A punk? Can’t get it up? Impotent? I’m pretty sure there’s a brother reading this who has had this experience.

Popular Culture

I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.

Perhaps because fewer of us have fathers, however, to say it’s largely based on insulting and disrespecting women is not true. You also forgot the fact that alot of black men (and italians) will beat the snot out of you for insulting their mother.

In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.

I feel a way about this. While this is true most women want an experienced man. As a man if you don’t perform well sexually you are liable to get no second chances and all of her friends will know you were crap. My question is…how are men to become experienced before they get to you? That one’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t in my book.

I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.

I also get to watch a multitude of sit-coms with the following formula: Sexy intelligent woman is married to overweight, idiotic man…hilarity ensues.

Attitudes/Ideology

I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.

Who you been talking to dude? I have heard that…but moreso I hear that it’s because men aren’t doing there jobs, that men aren’t in the household or that men aren’t supporting their children.

I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.

How so? He never heard the “white girls love to give head” line?

Sports

I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.

In what world is this? I could attempt this…but no woman worth her salt is going to accept it.

I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.

No…no, no, no. You can do this if you’re on the team, but I don’t know dudes that hug while watching football games. Even more ridiculous is that women can hug all the time…how many men you see hugging each other in the streets?

I know that most sports analysts are male.

When you watch male sports yes…watch women’s sports and that changes.

I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.

Ladies…if you can play a sport without your shirt (or sports bra) on…feel free.

Diaspora/Global

I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.

Dude…it’s war. The men aren’t being given Spa treatments…women may be raped, but usually after the men have been killed. I’m not sure anyone “wins” in this situation.

I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.

Get the fuck out…alot more people know about Cleopatra then Hannibal…and in films both of them were played by white actors. We all lose…again.

Relationships

I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.

Why is that considered a privilege?

Physical Safety

I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.

Yo…if a man calls the police on a woman, more then likely he’ll be considered a punk and treated as such.

I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say “Hello” or “Hi” and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.

I can agree on the stalking part…but c’mon…dude obviously doesn’t try to randomly say hi to women. Nor did he notice how many women may treat you as a potential threat to their safety because you’re a black man…that’s a gut wrenching feeling.

I can touch and physically grope women’s bodies in public- often without their consent- with male complicity.

Um…I’ve never seen a woman do this and be treated as a pariah…matter of fact see what happens if a man reports a woman for sexual abuse/harrassment, etc.

Summary:

My issue isn’t that dude is just totally false and wrong (though on some things I think so). My real issue is that he has taken issues that have effects on both genders of our race and instead of doing something that could bring us together he points a finger at black men. What he doesn’t do…say in the instance of black female leaders is actually name any. He doesn’t actually lift black women up in his writing save to pull black men down a notch. He sets up a situation that causes a dispute not one that heals or improves anything. I’m not really for the “this one has it worse game” but when I read things like this I find myself drawn into it. I know black women have issues to face, just as black men do. As a black man I really don’t see many people championing my cause. I don’t see magazines directed at supporting me. I don’t see groups that are directed at supporting me. I do see groups that want me to “assume my role” and “take responsibility”. It’s like the CNN Black in America special. I didn’t like how black men and black women and families were seperate episodes. What really bothered me, however, was that the black women and families episode revolved alot around black men not being there. Yet, in that very episode there was a black man featured who was raising his children on his own and no one said, “Where is their mother? Where is his wife?” Yet the rest of the episode basically went on to say, “Where are the black men for these women?” I’m tired of cursing the darkness. On the behalf of one or the other. Where are those who want to shine light for both? Had I written this I would have focused on the perspectives from both sides of this issue in order to bridge an understanding. By looking at one you either generate animosity or have one side acknowledge the trials of the other while no attention is called to the trials that they face. Does either of us have it easy? I don’t think so. This writer and many others like him need to come alot stronger.

“Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945), radio address, October 26, 1939

So I’ve had no choice but to pay some type of attention to politics as of late. It’s everywhere and kind of hard to avoid. Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that Obama will most likely win. That’s not the point of this post though. I’ve have found the cake and it is a lie. I’ve long been of the understanding that the truth is somewhere between both sides. One of the things that republicans say about democrats most often is tax and spend…that democrats will create a welfare state. Democrats will spend our money on wasteful things and bankrupt the country. As we’ve discovered over the last 8 years just because someone claims to be conservative does not mean they won’t spend money. This is not the point of my writing. What I have realized is a blatant republican lie. Not the normal type, not something that I’ve disproven myself. This is something that they have proven to be false yet continue to tout it as a point in thier debate. This is what I have realized. What often gets a democrat into office, and is currently working in Obama’s favor, when the country is in financial trouble people elect a democrat. Considering that fact, if democrats are the poor spenders and the ones who overspend…why would we seem to always elect a democrat when the economy is going down? Not to mention that fact that the economy would seem to go down under republicans. The cake is a lie. It points out something about alot of republicans that I hate. Towing the line. P.J. O’rourke is one that will state an opinion and acknowledge a fact. I see alot, however, try to make connections that aren’t there and wiggle around to find an exit. They often strain to tow the line. I can’t respect that. I’ve been trying to point out a similar trait among democrats, but so far I haven’t been able to. I do know that democrats need to be more forceful. I understand intellectualizing but, even a strong punch can be a smart thing. You don’t have to try an be Ghandi…hell Bruce Lee didn’t advocate needless fighting…but he knew when to strike.

“I don’t have to be topical if I don’t feel like it.”
Amadeo

Politics

So Anonymous hacked one of Sarah Palin’s email accounts. There was a story out about the fact that she had a few and had been using personal ones to conduct work related correspondance. Which is illegal since she’s a Governer. Well one of them accounts was put out there and Anonymous hacked it and sent screen shots to wikileak. Seems like she did have some work realted things going on. This and another account were closed down afterwards, the other account was targeted by an activist under the Freedom of Information act. It could all come out to nothing, however since shes under invesitgation it could be considered destroying evidence.

Fun and Games

I bought The Force Unleashed the other day. It’s a comforting thought that I can have a long hard day and end it by throwing stormtroopers through the air with my (digital) mind. Or that I can levitate them and then charge them with lightening from my (digital) finger tips. Having the force would be valuable in my line of work…no need to escort someone out, just use my mind to lift them up and sit them outside.

Shenanigans

Why in the Bloody Blue Blazes is a phone for a Sprint account going to be cheaper at Best Buy then at Sprint? Especially if the price at both places depends on the same 22 month status? Get it together Sprint. I’m trying to make up my mind if I want to leave you or not. You pissed me off when I found out a new customer could get two phones for $50 when my 22 month discount would give me one of those for $125. Yeah new customers get better deals everywhere…but this is getting out of hand. Best Buy may have saved your ass this time…maybe. If I roll with the Blackberry you might be safe, but the iPhone is making me curious.

Telly

So Dr. Phil had an episode about the N-word and I’m not sure who’s idea it was but they had Paul Mooney on as an expert. Maybe Dr. Phil wanted to challenge his audience, but they sounded just like something from one of Mooney’s acts. Oh god, hilarity did ensue.

“You over-officious jerk!”
Marv Levy

No Fun League

So Chad can’t wear his new name on his jersey until he buys the 100k that Reebok already had made up before the season started. Bogus. It’s like the NFL got together with Reebok just to do something spiteful. I’m sure the better business move for Reebok would be to donate the Johnsons and write them off. P.R. and a tax write off? C’mon! The NFL hates this Ocho Cinco thing…well here’s something I don’t hear anyone mention in this whole debate. A while back the NFL Network had a commercial it ends with a shot of Chad Johnson in a dentists chair flashing his golds, in the background you can hear a chorus of voices chant “Ocho Cinco”. This was before it even caught on…NFL..if he has problems you were an enabler. Don’t try to take a back door route to get at him out of spite. What next will you fine him for not obeying the rules cause guess what?!?! It’s a rule that every player must have his legal last name on the back of his jersey! Whoops! Get over it NFL…he’s getting more attention which means you get more.

Pharrell = Bootleg Jamiroquai
It’s true. I bought a greatest hits of Jamiroquai the other day and songs I didn’t know had me thinking “why does this remind me of something else?”. Then I heard “Feel’s Just Like it Should”. Maybe it was in a commercial or something, but when I’d heard it before in passing I thought it was Pharrell. That sealed it. I will accept no dispute on this issue. Deal with it.

Semi-Crazy People Suck

So there’s this dude that sits outside of Starbucks in the morning. Actually he sits there, get’s up and walks away, sits around the corner, comes back, goes in and gets a free cup of water, sits for a while, walks away…wash, rinse, repeat.

For a while dude is cool. Every now and then (normally when a person walks close by) he bursts into laughter. He doesn’t do this with me just random passers by. I’m calling him and his ilk out. Semi-crazy don’t cut it no more. You are together enough to at least look clean, not smell, and know that you can get free water from Starbucks. So either go all the way crazy or just drop the rest. Like the lady that used to talk to herself and say random shit to me and others…outside of Starbucks (there’s a theme here huh?). She had the bag lady thing going…she did the crazy talk…but she wasn’t crazy when she would go to McDonalds and buy herself breakfast. I like my crazy people crazy…I mean “Will-I-have-to-hit-this-person” crazy. Like the dude that picked up the horseshit to dump and flush in Starbucks toilet. Just so you know…this Starbucks is the reason I now keep my digital camera with me at all times. But for real…either go all the way or stop the semi-crazy.

“Not for myself I make this prayer
But for this race of mine
That stretches forth from shadowed places
Dark hands for bread and wine”

Countee Cullen

So I went to the Governors Grants Conference on Monday. First I have to say…can we all stop with the themes? Jerry Macquire was a few years back so making the them “Show Me The Money”, while appropriate just kinda grates on my nerves. What’s worse is that was a pretty mild one compared to some that I’ve been to.

Anyway so inbetween writing down websites, figuring out who I can target for funding and going outside to smoke cloves, I actually did get some good information to share with all of you.

You can’t work in my field without keeping an eye on politics. Regime changes and new policies have an impact on where we will get money from and if we will be able to…not to mention how much money will actually be around. In addition to people from the state government we had a lot of people from the federal government.

First thing you would be interested to know:

Marcia Howard is the Director of Federal Fund Information for States…if you want to know what federal money goes to what state and how much you should call her…reporters I’m talking to you as well. Anyway she let us know that Sarah Palin (despite the record profits I keep hearing about from oil) has gotten more money for Alaska in recent years then any other state as received…save for two states in one year…Mississippi and Louisiana…I’ll let you figure out which year that was.

During lunch the Keynote speech was given by Ray Scheppach, Executive Director of the National Governors Association. He was a kind enough gent, but we all wondered if he sat at home staring at a picture of his family while holding a gun in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other. Dude basically has been interacting with every Governer in the country for the last 20 years. He spoke about what we could expect on state levels depending on who was elected President. I’ll spare you the details and just say you have a choice…bad or worse. The issue is that states aren’t going to feel what’s happening now until after the election. He basically said that going by the policies they have outlined things would be bad for us under Barack Obama…and even worse under McCain. We can’t avoid what’s coming and even with fairly responsible approach we’ll still feel the pinch.

Having said that I came up with an idea that, the longer I think about it, could potentially set my career…until I can get it moving I ask you all to send donations…not to me…but to my girl. That way she can be my sugar mama and I can catch Pardon the Interruption in the Afternoon. Thank you for your support.