Eye on the impossible, grips on the intangible. Happily pissing into the wind and teaching your children to do things that make me laugh for over a quarter century.
“History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men.” Blue Oyster Cult
I have an idea that made me think to put this video up…the potential is still there so I won’t type the actual idea. I mean if one of you got paid from it I’d have to hunt you down, steal your money and make your life hell forever….and I kinda had other stuff I wanted to do.
Who the hell can front on Godzilla? Not to mention the fact that this song rocks. I’ve been playing air guitar to this all week long. My mother introduced me to Godzilla back in the day…I haven’t seen all of the movies, but I have seen alot of them. Sometimes I think the real world could use a Godzilla. A big monster that comes through and destroys on some…”Hey I’m the product of all your ignorance and pollution of the planet. I’m gonna start destroying things now.” The problem would be that people would break down along different lines. I’m sure a religion would spring up around him. Some people would want to destroy him. Some people would think he deserves to destroy us. PETA would protest the military. The army would call in Ceasar Milan to see if they could control him and use him as a weapon. Meat Eaters would want a Godzilla steak. Vegans would claim he is revenge for the animals we proclaimed are lower on the food chain than us. Politicans would use him as a wedge issue. “My opponent wants to sit down and reason with Godzilla!”
Godzilla actually is charming. Parent groups would want him destroyed for the sake of our children. PETA would counter by asking, “What about Godzuki?” It would be a whole mess. Plus there would be porn fetish sites set up for the twins and they’d be too busy to call Mothra.
Makes me think of the Watchmen…since the movie will come out soon I won’t get all into it. Look it up if you want…but you might ruin the plot for yourself.
“I shall be waiting to reward your genius, or to have you beheaded for terminal stupidity! I have spoken.” Cobra Commander
That’s right, I have toys. I couldn’t help but buy them when I saw them. My childhood reached up and spoke to me. This is what it said,
“GET THAT SHIT MAN!!!! What you don’t wanna buy a toooooy in front of your lady? You better buy that or I’ll give you some issues to deal with on your birthday. That’s right, you don’t get it and I’ll make sure that you’re buying a motorcycle and a leather jacket when you turn 40. You know you want it, I know you want it…hell she knows you want it. Buy it or I’ll throw a tantrum right here.”
Yeah…G.I. Joe is having it’s 25th anniversary and I saw this:
What young man that watched G.I. Joe or played with the action figures did not love Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow? Lame ones that’s who. I have probably owned at lest 4 variations of Snake Eyes….3 of them have been stolen from me. Those were the days. My cousin would come over and we would spend hours setting up some scenario. Once we were ready to actually play…it would be time for him to go home. I was hurt when I thought Duke was going to die in G.I. Joe the Movie. Oh Yeah…I did get the William “Refrigerator” Perry mail in action figure.
Hell Yeah.
Sadly when I got older…my grandmother saw fit to give them all to my cousin. Which is quite depressing now because some of the 25th anniversary joints are re-releases of figures I actually had. Between them and my Star Wars toys I could own two homes by now…thanks guys really. I’m going to bring this up at Thanksgiving…believe that.
There is a G.I. Joe movie coming out soon…I’m not psyched that Marlon Wayans is in it….but Ray Park playing Snake Eyes is bad ass.
If you think I’m just weird and one of those old geeks…I’ll throw my mother under the bus by saying she (I am to) is now hooked on Ninja Warrior.
“A wise man’s question contains half the answer.” Solomon Ibn Gabirol
So I’m watching The Daily Show last night and Scott “Babyface” McClellan is on. The longer I watched the more I realized… Jon Stewart probably does better interviews then anyone you can see on a major television station. I keep wondering if his magic is a branch of the Ali G effect. If any of you don’t know Ali G is another Sacha Baron Cohen character (along with Borat). On his show on HBO he would have interviews with some big muckety mucks…and ask them some of the most ignorant questions ever. I used to wonder, didn’t Boutros Boutros Gali’s people know who they had set him up with? But even American politicans and administrators weren’t safe. I couldn’t help but think, did no one watch this show before booking the interview? In the case of the Daily Show…it’s more popular, but I think everyone just thinks, “Oh it’s Comedy Central…fake news.” Yeah, what’s the worse that could happen on a fake news show? Jon Stewart could bitch slap you with real questions aand have the guy the whole White House is shitting on for putting them out there sound like he’s defending them. I swear at one point in the interview, while trying to get a question asked, Stewart did a Dr. Evil “Zip it” move.
Why the hell can’t all the “real journalists” do that? Some politician is going on and on working the hell out of his spin and the interviewer says, “What the Fuck…answer the question…thats not the answer….answer….ANSWER!” It would be much better then some of this crap I see right now. I wonder if anyone ever shat themselves when Stewart started asking them harder questions than someone on C.N.N.? I swear I’ve seen dudes trying to locate the exit. The funny thing is McClellan is ripping the administration so most people are just riding his wave, not Stewart he’s pushing. This is one of the few people that I’ve seen go on a show and rip the whole show with facts. Plenty people try to be edgy or tough. He just smacks them with truth.
Ever see his appearance on Crossfire? Probably the reason the show got taken off. The only equivalent would be if someone went on O’Reilly and yelled at him until he cried…cause you’d have to yell when he cuts off your mic.
In January 2005, CNN announced that it was canceling Crossfire. When asked about the cancellations, CNN/US’ incoming President, Jonathan Klein, said about Stewart’s appearance on the show, “I think he made a good point about the noise level of these types of shows, which does nothing to illuminate the issues of the day.” Soon after Stewart quipped on The Daily Show that “I fought the law, and the law lost!”
WWWD: Wolverine: “The X-Men are here and we’re down to kick butt and take names!” Beast:“I wouldn’t put it so crudely!” Wolverine:“Okay, Beastie — Let us pummel these louts severely about the head and shoulders!”
“Well, you see, Mike-Mike thought he should keep that cocaine he was slingin’ and the money he was makin’ from slingin’ it. I thought otherwise.” Omar Little
I’m pretty sad today. One of the best characters on T.V. went down. Omar Little was killed. This cat may have been the best most non-stereotypical cat on television…ever. I like the Wire for one reason above all. Anyone can be screwed up. Not just dirty politicians, but ones who start giving so they can get and become the system. Cops want to catch the “bad guys”, but they’re screwed up too. Kid who just want to look out for their brother become killers. I love that in a crime drama characters were actually that and not some caricature of good and bad guys.
It’s typical for many actors of an “ethnic” persuasion to basically have to ham it up in audtions. Be more street. Give some more attitude. The characters that they play often reflect this. Black Thugh #1. Latino Killer #2. So how often do you find a gay charcter who’s whole persona isn’t based on their sexual orientation? A killer and theif who only targets dealers and doesn’t curse? The realest part of this character after all is said and done may be his death. So enjoy some Omar. I don’t know when another character like this will be on any television show.
“To perceive is to suffer.” Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)
Yeah he did it. The boogey man shed tears for someone else. Actually he knows Romo has a media-sodomy-special coming and he’s having sympathy pains and flashbacks. Actually Romo has a double helping coming…second year they got booted out the playoffs…ohh, stigma!!!! Anyway, while everyone in the country is laughing at T.O. crying. I’m laughing at the rest of the country crying about Awards shows. I don’t give a good god damn if we won’t get to see Brangelina The Orphan Eater in a gown by…some guy. I don’t care if there is no red carpet. Why must I be subjected to that story over and over and over again? Is Dengeneratees gonna bring her dogs and cry too? By the way, the Hillary crying thing, I’m not buying it until I see snot bubbles and she does those hyperventilating breaths like kids do. “I-want-so-much-for-our-fuuuuutuuuuure”. Bullshit. See the thing about Hillary (that they should stop trying to trick us about) is she’s NOT like Bill. Bill seemed like he would walk up to your house with a six pack of beer (minus 2) and ask if he could catch SportsCenter while you complained about government. Hillary seems like she was born in a pants suit. I bet even her jeans are the brand new stiff kind that turn the top of white socks blue. I’m gonna feed Britney Spears some speed and send her after some of you guys. You don’t want that drama. When I think about it out of all the people I would want next to me in a bar…I’d have to take T.O. over the rest. He’d probably have better stories and would pay for drinks without wanting anything in return. No show topics, no photo ops. I won’t say leave T.O. alone or anything. Hell, he’s crying cause he know they won’t leave Romo alone. Which of course they won’t…not until he wins a playoff game…he has to still be with Jessica Simpson though or the joke with just transform. Ahh, media.
“Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.” Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)
So, here we go again. Instead of simply ranting and raving (which I’ll do anyway cause it’s my blog…neener, neener, neener) I will give out awards to those who deserve it. It seems only fitting as I look around and find ignorance rewarded everywhere. So I present my first ever, “Get that Out of There” This is for people who have their head shoved firmly up their ass. The first recipients are:
Tony Harris of CNN:
Various Parents:
A Slew of other folks:
See Bomani Armah has a song called “Read a Book”. He made a video and sent it to BET. To my surprise BET actually played it. I say my surprise because the song was basically ripping Hip-Hop or to be particular Crunk Music. I saw him perform this joint at Afram back in June. His concept was that people listen and the radio plays music that is basically a series of hooks that don’t say anything worthwhile. If figured what if I do the same thing but my content is actually about things people should do. When I heard this song I loved it. I was reciting the lyrics for days. Shortly after it started to pop up on blogs and got alot of praise from my demographic. The problem is, when BET did play it some older folks got mad. They said it wasn’t appropriate for children and it wasn’t a parody. They got mad at BET and Bomani. This is the thing…the video was in cartoon form so by their logic it’s obviously meant for little children. Of course no one over the age of 12 watches cartoons. They also said it a good way to make a public service announcement….cause anytime anyone says public service announcement that’s what it is, even if they play it on a music video show and it’s performed on stage. They compared it to the Electric Company and Seasame st. They got up in arms.
Them (also known as they):Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble.
There is cursing in the song. There are cartoon figures shaking their booty. My issue is this…dude is making fun of all the other videos on right now. Since it played on BET they had to take the cursing out (just like Bomani does when he performs it). Parents got all up in arms about it, but these same parents aren’t up in arms about all of the other videos that play around this one. It takes me back to Dave Chapelle laughing at Lil’ Jon…”I can’t believe he said skeet on the radio.” No parents got upset over that. On a CNN interview Tony Harris asked if the videos Bomani mentioned played at three in the afternoon. The correct answer (that he dismissed) is yes. My futher problem, as someone who grew up with Hip-Hop and can’t stand most of what’s on now, is that these parents didn’t mind the content of the videos, but when some of that some visual content comes in cartoon form accompanied by chants of read a book there’s a problem. Not to mention if it’s made for kids, why is one of the lines “Raise your kids”. It might be helpful future information, but I’m sure it could be pointed at people who actually have children now…possibly. Anyway you guys peep the video and tell me what you think.
I’ve been lazy this week…well for a few weeks so I’ll continue to be lazy and instead of actually coming up with something I’ll let Youtube do the work for me. Here are some things that may give you some insight into my sickness, or not.
No body in my office could remember this and that’s just sad.
“As of now, your little project is deader than disco! Hmmm… Deader than disco… I like that… I would have made a great stand-up comedian. “ Cobra Commander
I love these G.I. Joe P.S.A overdubs!!! Ahhh…they’ve done sick things with my childhood.
